luckyleo

Since I've been diagnosed a little over a month ago, I feel like I can't get away from hearing about Herpes anywhere. Most recently I heard an interview with Lisa Bloom, the lawyer with the case against Usher for not disclosing, where she referred to herpes as a 'terrible disease.' (She also said that it's ruined one of her client's life because she can now no longer take baths with her babies and also said herpes can be transmitted by sweat?) I feel like these comments go far beyond the disclosure aspect of the case and just works to further the stigma that causes the emotional trauma that she's helping the women sue Usher for. Has herpes always been in the media as much as I feel it has in the past month, or am I just noticing it now that its personal? (Also sorry if there doesn't seem to be much of a point to this thread, but I've had that interview playing in my head for a few days now and I needed to get out my feeling about it somewhere!)

Although my situation wasn't exactly like yours, I can relate. I didn't have to be talked into the sex, but I thought we both had a clear understanding that we'd use protection. When I realized he hadn't put one on, I made a comment about it, and he made a snide comment about putting one on if I insisted, but I was too embarrassed to stand up for myself and make him put one on. (I've actually never told anyone that part of the story cause it still makes me ashamed of myself) When I found out I got herpes from the interaction, I was pissed at both myself and him. The first thing I had to do was calm down. Next, I had to realize that, although I believe his not using the protection when we had previously discussed it was wrong in and of itself, there is statistically a good chance he has no idea he has genital herpes, and therefore he didn't factor that into his decision to not put the protection on. And third, I had to realize that, although I can't go back in time and change his actions or mine, I can control my actions in the present. Does he deserve to know there is a possibility he has genital herpes, absolutely, both for his health and his sexual partners after. But think about how you felt when you found out. Now imagine finding out because someone is accusing you of giving them an STD you have no idea you have. Also, if you want to help the people who come after you, think about what sort of interaction will make him take the situation seriously so that he will go get tested and will disclose to his future partners. Believe me, in the first few weeks I wanted to make the guy feel like crap for infecting me, and I'm not saying I'm totally at peace with the whole situation, but maybe after the anger passes you'll decide that's not the best scenario for anyone in the long run.

Thanks fore replying. That's the thing, I don't really have anything specific. The walk in-clinic made it seem like going to an infectious disease specialist is just 'the thing one does' after being diagnosed with herpes, but it doesn't seem that way from my research online. I'm mostly asking now cause I just finished the course of valacyclovir the clinic subscribed and was wondering if an infectious disease specialist was who you'd go to to get another subscription for an outbreak or suppressive therapy, I guess. Mostly I'd just like to figure out who to talk to to not feel that pain again.

Hi. I was diagnosed a few weeks ago with Herpes. The infection was probably only a week old, so the test came back negative and I don't know what strain I have. I got diagnosed at a walk in urgent-care facility who recommended I follow up with an infectious disease specialist. From personal experience or from other's stories, does anyone have any opinions about the usefulness in seeing an infectious disease doctor for men because we don't have OBGYNs to talk to?