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I met my boyfriend a couple years ago and it was instant love. We are still going strong. The beginning of our relationship was a little tough as he unknowingly gave me herpes (he was not aware he had it). I knew this devestated him because he never wanted to hurt me. I forgave him as we are all human and I knew it wasn’t on purpose. I still love him. It can be difficult at times though because it does make me feel like dirty or gross sometimes due to the stigma around herpes. I know herpes is also a common joke made in shows or movies and it always makes me uncomfortable when we are watching something together and they make a herpes joke (especially if it’s pointing out that it’s “gross” or “horrible”.) I’m also an extremely empathetic person so I know he feels guilty about it which makes me feel sad. He’s a good person he just made a mistake. It’s a lot of hard feelings about not wanting to resent him for this, the empath in me feeling bad FOR him, everything... would love some support & insight if you guys could offer me some. Thank you

So, my boyfriend did not know he had herpes. And gave it to me. This was when we first got together intimately and a few weeks later or days later (I do not remember), I got the horrible horrible symptoms. I got tested and got tested positive for Herpes type II. Honestly, it was frustrating and embarrassing. I've always taken my sexual health and physical health very seriously and trusted him. I am not mad at him, since he did not do it maliciously. He is a very mature and kind person, and I've been in horribly abusive relationships majority of my life.. Herpes does not hurt me anymore, outbreaks are not frequent and unnoticeable unless they are touched directly. But anyway... I have forgiven him. It's hard to ignore the way society treats and sees herpes, as it's always the butt of a joke on TV. It's so uncomfortable when people make a herpes joke on TV or stand up comedy, especially if we are watching it together. I know he feels incredibly guilty for it and probably will forever... but what do you all do when a herpes jokes comes up on the TV? When it elicits reactions like ewwww, not me, dirty, etc. How do you ignore that stuff? How do you not take it personal? If you have experienced the same situation as me, how do you alleviate the awkwardness? Thank you all. Take care xx

There's a chance you did, and a chance you didn't. Any sexual contact, there will be a chance. Sometimes people have no symptoms, and some people do. What's important is you get tested!

I'm not a motorcyclist (mainly due to money lol) but I ride bikes everyday! During an outbreak is not recommended..... I bike 5 miles to work everyday and good lord it hurt my vag... But, idk I really just think herpes is so overhyped... like it really is just an once in awhile nuisance. I do think dating will be hard though since I feel like ppl will see me as dirty or whatever, but that's honestly so sad that society does that because... literally could happen to anyone just depends on risk... even condoms dont fully protect from it only some. Anyway, I'm here if ya ever want to chat!

There are a lot of information and ways to 'disclose' to a partner on this website, I'd suggest reading the "herpes talk success stories" category for a boost in courage. Your fear is completely validated, there is stigma attached to having herpes sadly, but I think if you present facts about it and remind him that you are still YOU despite having this diagnosis, then things will be okay. If he does not react well, I promise things will be okay regardless. It will still hurt, but you wouldn't want to be with someone who leaves you over something... well, INSIGNIFICANT as this. You are a strong person, and you will get through this whatever reaction he may have! We are all here for you!

Same here, I was diagnosed recently after having my first outbreak and it was from the guy I was dating who swore he was clean (he was of everything ELSE....) and now he gifted it to me. It's definitely not an easy thing to come to terms with, especially when herpes is like the butt of so many jokes.... and same here the thought of potentially not being allowed to give birth if I have an outbreak upset me so much.. but I am 21 so that's not anytime soon, I know by then I will have accepted that this is a part of me now. I'm here for ya.

I met a guy in January and although he was clean and got tested, he didn't specifically request for a herpes test and he passed it to me. He is a great guy, but I don't feel love towards him. But I feel trapped or like I should learn to love him because I already get anxious dating people but now that I have herpes type II the thought of having to disclose to someone feels awful to me... Like what if they ultimately cheat because they can't have "raw sex" with me... I just don't feel sexy or confident anymore, because of the stigma attached to it. I feel like I can't think about this guy how I should because I feel like I have to stay because we both have HSV II... Thank you for any words... :( It's a hard time...

Oh I forgot to mention, my first outbreak I felt very achey and flu-like symptoms and such but this time I felt nothing and just happened to feel the bumps when I put on my shorts. Am I always going to get symptoms other than the sores or?? I'm just confused

It's totally normal to feel fear that no one will love you or can look past your diagnosis. There is sadly strong social stigma around herpes despite the fact of how common it actually is. I know it's hard to see now, but you should look in the "success stories" part of this forum. Someone who truly loves and cares about you will not mind. Herpes is a skin condition, it does not take away from who you ARE. I can tell you are a very sweet person. I am 21 now, and recently got it from my boyfriend who didn't know he had it. I also felt fears like, "If we break up, how am I going to ever find someone? I'm going to have to disclose this to anyone I want to be intimate with..." etc etc. Although negative thoughts like this are understandable and normal, it's not good to think that way. First, find that love for yourself. Be content with being alone and with your own company, find that unconditional love for yourself EVEN with the herpes. When you find self love, healthy love will gravitate towards you, it's inevitable. It's also kind of hard to find someone who is in high school/college who can be mature about these things, but as @it_doesnt_define_us said (love the username), you aren't losing anything. Someone who failed to look past a diagnosis to see a special person, they aren't worth it. Rejection does hurt even if it was slowly happening. It's okay to feel hurt about it, but you WILL grow from it and realize how herpes can actually help us in dating. Weeds out the people who just want sex, who want YOU.

I met my boyfriend in January, and is the most mature kind man I have ever met. We had sex for the first time about a month ago, and I had gotten my first outbreak which was absolute hell. (fever, aches, pain in vagina...). I went to the doctor to get tested and it was confirmed that I contracted it. He apologized profusely and genuinely did not know he had it. I assured him it was okay and this could happen to anyone. But I got through that first outbreak. A couple weeks later I found two sores on my labia.. They dont hurt or sting or anything like that, but they are obviously sores. I feel a little resentment towards my bf as I've always gotten tested regularly for these things and I deeply trusted him. It was my fault as well for not having him get checked because I trusted him, but I also just feel sad that the guy who promised to never hurt me gave me this. I don't want to resent him at all, but it's hard not to resent this 'condition' I now have... I just feel really sad and I want to wholly forgive him and not see us as gross and be mature about this. So basically my questions are: 1. How can I forgive the man I'm with for giving me HSV-2? He is human just like I am, but I'm struggling with being okay with this. 2. How long does it take for sores to go away and how can I help them go away? And is it normal for them to not hurt only just feel a tiny bit like a dull ache when touched? Thank you.

I have taken many baths but can still feel the cramps and pain... :( Thank you tjough, the epsom salts are nice just don't take the pain away sadly...

Still haven't gotten my results back yet my Dr is unsure if what I have is friction sores or herpes.. but she gave me medication in the meantime but I feel like my clit and general area down there is cramping so hard im in so much pain... how can I make it stop? Ibruprofen doesnt seem to be helping :-(

I really appreciate all of the info. Just to clear something up, when you say infection do you mean Herpes or something else? I was a little unclear on that

I started getting symptoms right after we had sex. I found spots that KINDA look like a blister but they aren't painful. I have one on my labia and I think one two on the inside of the labia (next to vaginal opening)... I notice what looks like cuts possibly from the friction which is the only very painful part... If i'm having this kind of pain in my nerves and stinging where I think the cuts are then I think it's safe to say I have it.... :(

So this man and I (I'm 21, he is 25), have been talking nonstop for over a month. When I say non-stop I mean to the point where we weren't sleeping because we were talking so much. He's the kindest, most mature person I have ever met. He always respected me and never pressured me into sex knowing I've experienced traumatic things. He's helped me through a lot, and we connect in every way possible... mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically.... Well speaking of "physically"... We had sex on the 7th and 8th, at that time I was very dry and we struggled to "get it in" as I am on anti-depressants to help my depression and anxiety and I know they can make you dry. I would get wet DURING however, but putting it in was painful. I was sore during and after but we did it a few times (all were condomless... I trusted him). He was also bigger than what I've experienced in the past. So I blamed my vagina symptoms on the baaad friction. Since that time, I noticed it would sting in the outer portion of my vagina and bleeding. I figured it was from the friction. But days passed and it was still an issue, plus I started getting a weird sensation of a "tugging/squeezing" feeling in my vaginal canal/clit. Baths made it easier but standing and walking around I felt sore. Then I got body aches and feeling hot. But the body aches and feeling hot are kinda normal for me as I have depression/anxiety. But that would be a hell of a coincidence.. I just went to my school's doctor today and she said it MAY possibly be from the friction (like friction sores, lesions, etc) but she believes it may be herpes. She said she cannot guarantee it either way. From my symptoms and the look at my vagina, I believe I have it. I wont know until next thursday. Now... I immediately contacted my boyfriend asking if he has gotten tested. We've always been very straight up and open communication and honest with each other. He said he was tested before moving to where I lived and had sex with a girl who he wore condoms with and then told him later she was clean. He was very honest with me when he could have lied. I was just wondering first.... Do you think I have herpes? From what I explained? And do you think we could move past this? He feels extreme guilt and he tells me he takes full responsibility for what happened and will never be able to forgive himself for this. "And I understand. Im here for you no matter what. For whatever happens. Even if you need space from me. Or if you don't want to be with me in the end. Im still here for you. Yeah i understand. Ill let you process if you do have it. Ill give you time. And no I don't want to lose you... Im honestly slightly surprised you haven't flipped out a little. Its understandable if you did. I made the mistake" is what he said at some point. I'm just worried we won't be able to be intimate again because this will be on our minds. Or if I will stay with him out of settling for someone who has herpes like me. Stuff like that. But at the same time if I didn't truly care for him I would have popped off and cut him out of my life. But he is the best person I know. I know he made a huge mistake, but this doesn't mean he HIMSELF is a bad person. Thank you all for reading. Hi!