MilaR

Aries- Did you talk to the guy about it after you found out? Does he have HSV and not disclose? I know there are many people out there that have it but don't even know it. I get the sense he betrayed you based on how you are feeling. If that is the case I am so sorry. Everyone deserves honesty.

Thanks Aries! Not exactly the social club I would have strived to be in! I was pretty shocked by my own diagnosis. Had no idea I had ever been exposed to HSV 2. I have struggled mostly with the dating aspect of having herpes. I have found that to be my biggest challenge. I was in a relationship when I found out I had it so it wasnt a big deal because my boyfriend wasn't phased by it. Since we have broken up it has been a bigger challenge. Gosh I wish the stigma around HSV would go away!!

I was 42. That was almost a year ago. Don't have any idea when I contracted it. It is a devestating diagnosis but it gets better. I hope you feel better soon!

Hi there! I'm glad you reached out for support. I am new to this forum, but in the short time I have been here I have learned a lot and read some great comments! I too have HSV-2. I found out about a year ago and I felt devastated. I was in a 2 1/2 year relationship. I don't know if I got it from him but when I told him he was cool about it. He never got tested and just assumed he had it. We have since broken up and I finally got the courage to date again. I got rejected by a guy I really liked and that has stung. But at least I tried. I get discouraged too and wonder if I will ever find love but I struggled with that before herpes. The worst part is the shame society puts on this skin virus. Anyone can get it and a lot of people have it and dont even know it. Knowing you have herpes gets easier with time. At least it has for me. It does make dating harder for sure but I am trying not to give up. I am still me. At least this way I will know if a guy really likes me or just wants to have sex with me. I know how you feel with feeling alone. But you have come to the right place. I have read a lot of successful disclosure stories and others on here have found love so hopefully we will too!! Stay positive!!

Update: so we have contacted via text and one phone. His texts usually occured every couple of days Last week we started talking and we went on two dates. They went well. After our last night he would respond breifly to messages and now is isnt contacring me all. What is going on? Havet heard from him since

I'm not sure if there is a right time to disclose, but I do there is wrong time such as when clothes are coming off or after sex has taken place. From everything I have read disclosure should occur when the relationship turns towards intimacy. I dated a guy for a month and began being physical, hugs and kisses. Definitely moving towards more. So I then felt I needed to tell him. He was ok with it intially. We went on a few more dates after that but then he broke it off. I sometimes wished I had waited longer but I dont know that would have a difference because he did genuinely like me. Disclosures suck. I lost a great guy because I have herpes. Im pretty sure he doesn't test women he dates and he has never been tested. But because I know my status he didnt want to be with me.

He sounds like a good guy! Enjoy your dates and getting to know each other. No need to rush into a physical relationship. He is trying to work through all this just like you did when you found out. Not all disclosures end this well and him wanting to spend time with you is a good sign!

Thanks Smalltown guy for your comment. I sent him stats and even encouraged him to do his own research. I don't if he did. Herpes is very common and many people don't even know they have it. For most it causes no problems except for when it comes to dating that is. I certainly didnt know that i had been exposed so either the guy didnt know he had it or lied. Just disappointing because he liked me a lot and i liked him. Glad you are getting educated! Shows how mature you are.

I found out I have HSV 2 almost a year ago. I was in a 2 year relationship at the time and when I disclosed to my then boyfriend he was cool about it and we continued on as if nothing had happened. He chose not to get tested and he has never had any signs or symptoms of HSV. Upon diagnosis I chose to take suppression therapy and have carried on. I have since ended that relationship. I have been hesitant to get back out there and date again since I have no experience disclosing other than with my then boyfriend and I am not sure how other guys will react. However, I did meet someone great! We hit it off, had lots in common, had lots of fun and had an amazing physical chemistry. Over the course of a month we went out seven times. We started to get intimate and it was apparent to me that we were getting close to having sex. Basically done everything but take our pants off. I felt at the time I needed to disclose that I have HSV. So I did so in a casual conversation. I told him what we would need to do ie: use condoms and I would continue the anti-virals. I told him of the very small risk of transmission. He had questions and I answered them. Encouraged him to do his own research. He seemed ok with it. However his behavior started to change after that. Not contacting me as much and being less flirty. We went out two more times after that. About a week later he told me that he had thought a lot about it and basically couldn't wrap his mind around it. He was concerned about the "passion" aspect. I told him it was obvious we had passion but that didn't seem to persuade him. He was concerned about oral sex. I'm pretty sure he isn't testing all the women he has had oral sex with and he told me he himself has never been tested for STDs. I am very devastated over the loss of this budding relationship. Perhaps I should have waited longer to disclose but I wanted to be honest. I don't understand why he couldn't get past it and continue the relationship and see how things went. This was my first attempt to get out there and date since testing positive and I got rejected. I feel terrible. I like him a lot and wish he would change his mind. We are both in our 40s and mature adults. Any advice?? Thanks!