Pikachuhasherpes

At the end of the day acyclovir and valacyclovir just aren't working.. what even could..

He's paid for my medication and he's done what he can do and is very patient with me but I don't know what more I can tell him to do to help me.. other than to simply be around me more but he does work quite a lot. :(

Of course I met my bf after the assault and didn't know I had the virus until after we had sex so for all I know he already has it..

@Vin3 sorry for the late reply but honestly I got super drunk and had a complete mental breakdown last night about all of this. I got ginger supplements, expensive feminine probiotics that are 50 billion per capsule and I got more lysine even though they're hard af to swallow. The skin pain for the outbreak which is only 3 lesions at best that I can see is the worst part. It feels like my skin has been burned which makes me feel like maybe I do have fibromyalgia and the virus is just bringing it out more. It's mostly just that I love my boyfriend so much and I can't live with the guilt of me possibly passing this to him just to have us maybe one day not work out and then he's stuck with me. He says he wants to marry me and I want to marry him as well dearly, but I am a lot to handle.. like I'm a complete wreck of a person. I don't even know how he can stand to be around me especially because we aren't having sex.. he deserves so much better than me and I even told him I feel like I'm the one holding the weight of this diagnosis alone because he always says he doesn't know how to help me but doesn't do research other than the one time he looked up how to avoid getting it which to me it's like yeah you don't want it but at the same time it's like that's not somebody who doesn't care about getting it because they care about you. It was old and he's made peace pretty much now with getting it but that one fact will just always leave me wondering... and it's because I care about him so much. He thought I was breaking up with him last night when that's the absolute last thing I would ever want to do. It's just that if I was alone I wouldn't have to worry about passing it to anyone and I could just die with it. I need him now more than ever to help pull me out of this hell I'm in because I don't want to push him away because I no longer feel worthy to have him at all.. it's just so much sadness and regret that I didn't kick the asshole out who did this to me and because of that I got sexually assaulted. I am so fucking ashamed.

@HikingGirl thank you so much for your response and I want to say from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your detailed advice and explanations.. and that I'm truly sorry for your loss. I love reading about other people's journeys through life and it spoke to me in a way that is astounding because if your dog could get better after all of those attempts then I should be able to as well. It's extremely overwhelming but you definitely get exactly what I am going through just in a very different way. @Vin3 brilliantly mentioned getting an IGG food test to see what my body is actually legitimately allergic to so I don't have to go so far as to eliminate basically everything. I do know I can't eat gluten of any sort but I'm not sure if corn or rice count. I'm driving myself literally insane with not knowing what is and isn't safe at this point. I won t have any real answers until I save up enough money to get this test which is what I've really discovered. It's amazing to know I'm not alone and I hope anyone who read my rage about who are we kidding pretending we feel better or even good about our diagnosis are just kidding ourselves can see that it was coming from a place of extremely deep pain... because in my position it really doesn't seem like it'll get better. It's so hard to do trial and error when I'm on a disability income and my rent is over half of what I make before bills and other expenses. I'll just stop eating sugar for the most part and try to cut out most junk food to start until I can get those tests and get to the bottom of this once and for all. I just hope I can get some answers so I can also help other people:)

It's fair to note that I was told I could get the more serious complications of having hsv1 oral and hsv2 genital like encephalitis or liver issues later on because I'm so immunocompromised but how true is that? Is that him being overly cautious? It's freaking terrifying...... Endometriosis and possibly ovulation is what seems to trigger my outbreaks the most.. even my psoriasis is flared up after being under control for the most part for a year. It's gotta be the winter skin thing because nothing seems to moisturize my skin at all.

@Vin3 Holy shit I just have to say I really appreciate your detailed amazing response. I don't think you understand how helpful that actually was for me. Thank you! I am actually not overweight and am in the healthy range 5'10" and 150 pounds (give or take a pound). I got a vitamin test but my doctor is also testing me for diabetes and thyroid conditions as well just to rule everything out. I recently got my period this Friday and the pain is definitely much worse. I passed out from the pain and was screaming leading up to that it was that bad. It's definitely upgraded but all my moronic doctor can do is try to put me on hormones when I can't take them due to the many medical issues I have, mainly in this instance panic disorder, generalized anxiety, and mostly my complete heart block. Which sucks because birth control was bomb at controlling the pain. I am going to get the IGG food test as soon as I can afford to because it's quite expensive here and I don't think odsp covers it unfortunately.. but you're absolutely right when you say me cutting food out when I honestly don't know what my body can and can't tolerate is bad. I'm just honestly so terrified of doing even one bad thing to my body to make it worse. I didn't know I could get probiotics that actually strengthen my vaginal bacteria specifically, though while that's amazing I also need a probiotics that will help my stomach as it's not doing so hot these days. I find I'm basically just making my life more difficult essentially without knowing really wtf I'm even doing. So the IGG test is the most important test I could ever get at this point. As I said though it's almost $500 here. Any idea how to get this covered? I hope you're able to respond to this. I am so relieved my boyfriend's scoliosis won't get worse! He's the love of my life and just the thought of hurting him is enough to destroy me so I don't ever want to actually do so. He's been so supportive every step of the way and not stigmatizing in ANY way. I am honestly the luckiest woman in the world to have him. I just want to get better so this isn't such an issue and I can grow old with him. I can deal with 1 or 2 outbreaks a year but not 1 to 2 a month; that's what's really driving me insane. I sort of rage quit on one of the discussions and was about to honestly delete this account because I didn't feel like I was being heard but also because most have to wait 7 to 10 days before they're good to have sex but for me it seems like in that time I develop another one and I'm on lysine and all this other crap to help. That is also why I was scared to eat basically anything. I find a lot of sites are extremely contradicting to eachother when it comes to what foods are safe and what ones aren't. I don't really eat soy or meat anyway but corn and dairy here and there is what really screwed me when learning I would have to cut them out. That was basically most of what I was surviving on. I'll take it easy and not eat too much junk food but I'll find out what foods I do react to with these tests. Thankfully I have a very patient amazing boyfriend who loves me no matter what so I can at least try to relax. It's just after cutting myself off of acyclovir and then valacyclovir because neither of them worked; they made the outbreak worse actually, the outbreak pain or predom symptoms are so much worse and painkillers just aren't working at all for me. So frustrating.. but seriously again thank you. Anymore information you or anyone has for me will be greatly appreciated.

I'm quitting this forum. Nobody can help me and I finally get that now

Man if I waited that long with my autoimmune conditions I would never have sex again with constant outbreaks. Not that I have been anyway. Might as well end my stupid life because my sex life is officially over!!!! All because some stupid piece of shit couldn't keep his hands off me and sexually assaulted me. It won't EVER get better for me. At least you people have 7 to 10 days to recover and make sure. I wait that long and BAM ANOTHER ONE. I hate my life!!!!!!!! Pretending to be positive about this kind of diagnosis only works if your other organs aren't busy screwing you over and even then like I'm sorry but who are we trying to kid here? Sorry to be cynical but come on now... for people who are really sick this just isn't going to improve. There wouldn't be people who wait almost an entire decade to have sex if there were. I just wait to smash my head through a wall so badly because I can't fuck1ng take this anymore!!!! My life is a joke!

@flowerpower did you ever find a solution for this? What happened?

To add to this I really do feel like i have to dramatically change my diet but the thing is I did and I an STILL getting the predominal pain so I guess I'm about to get another outbreak. Yay! I am on my period but still.. what gives..

I'm currently using prunella vulgaris tincture on my sores and holding it there and have put prunella on my predominal sore spots multiple times as day as well as about to take 1000mg more of Lysine today making it 3000mg in total, but I'm also not eating any food anymore with sugar, meat, dairy, gluten (including quinoa corn oats or soy but was gluten free before because of celiac disease), or chocolate obviously. I still drink red wine here and there but I also consume the prunella in my water. I've put some in my body and hand washes as well as any lotions. I seem to be getting constant outbreaks regardless how hard I try however, and honestly I've tried going on valacyclovir but with my weak a$$ immune system being over or underactive, with celiac endometriosis and psoriasis, I honestly had no success whatsoever. Spent so much money on this medication and tried doubling up on the meds but if anything that just pissed the virus off. I'm so afraid to pass it on to my boyfriend but I have more outbreak days than non outbreak days.. so it's definitely going to happen. He seems unphased but he has a stressful job and drinks a lot of coffee :(.. He also has scoliosis. Will the virus affect that? What can I use for inner vaginal lesions? Anyone ever put stuff on a tampon for the inner outbreak? Honestly this is such a mess.. and I'm only on a disability income so I'm running out of patience and money. Please please please help.

First off I am so sorry about your sexual assault. I hope you are working on healing from that. Secondly, for the vast majority of people HSV is not a big deal, for a tiny percentage it is. You are the small percent that it's causing much difficulty for. You have every right to feel your anger and frustration over the tremendous impact HSV is having on you. Actually, we all have a right to feel how we feel. Chances are if you pass this to your boyfriend it will not have the same impact on him. Statistically he is likely to have no or minor symptoms. So you can stop worrying about passing it to him. Also you are worth it to him. That's why he's by your side. Trust him when he gives himself to you, when he comforts and loves you. Because you are worth it! I know you are physically affected by this more than most but I suspect that, like most, your body will build up antibodies as the months (and years) move on and symptoms will improve. Lastly, there will likely be a vaccine for both those who have never been exposed and for those who already have the virus. Like chicken pox and shingles. If they can do it with VZV they'll be doing it with HSV eventually. Again, I'm terribly sorry about your assault and they way it has impacted you physically and psychology. Big virtual hugs. Update I read a blog about how you can cure almost any disease with diet and plan to read more but my main question is this. I want to cure or at least put into remission my autoimmune conditions because I was sexually assaulted and contracted genital herpes as a result, and the combination of my celiac disease, psoriasis and endometriosis have made it so I literally haven't had a break at all whatsoever. My messed up immune system and probable leaky gut have given me outbreaks back to back and I have drastically changed my diet but between having to eliminate basically every food to avoid immune system inflammation and food with high amounts of Argenine because of the herpes & gluten because of celiac disease, I feel like I've got nothing left to eat. I am under an immense amount of stress and that doesn't help but anybody in my situation would be. It says I have to avoid animal fat, dairy, gluten obviously, quinoa, rice, corn, soy, refined sugar, caffeine, alcohol and nightshade foods like potatoes and tomatoes etc. That basically leaves me with no food at all. Honestly I am so upset and I am starting not to see the point of why I exist at all. This is actually hell and even with all of this effort I STILL feel like it's not doing much. I'm taking lysine supplements, garlic and prunella vulgaris but with little effect. I'm at my wits end. Please help me if you can.. even to just point me in the right direction. Thank you as well for trying to cheer me up, as futile as it may be. Having to cut all these foods out make me want to honestly die. It is so stressful.

Well I take antivirals and they don't even work. Tried every single one and about to honestly end mg life so I wish I could help. I have 4 autoimmune disorders known and leaky gut so I'm probably going to eventually develop these issues or so my doctor says. I can feel the predominal throbbing pain in my vulva and butt on the right side and have been taking lysine, garlic and prunella vulgaris and also cut out every single food that can inflame these conditions but I still feel like I'm about to get an outbreak and the sad part is that I've been doing everything right this whole time and STILL haven't had ANY freaking relief. My point is if you don't have immune conditions coming out the wazoo you're probably fine.

Hi there. I'm new here so I want to start off by saying how deeply sorry I am that any of us are going through this. It's personally traumatic for me. I was sexually assaulted on October 10th and was ready to end my life. I met a wonderful man 9 days later and didn't know I had the infection until about a week after we made things official on October 20th. It was love at first sight and still is. We knew we want to be together forever so we had unprotected sex a couple times. He's only ever had one other partner before me and was with her since he was a virgin and her too. He went 6 years before meeting me. I ended up getting vaginal ulcers and long story short I was diagnosed with hsv2. I was truly devastated and still am. I can't tell you how many times I've cried over this. I don't feel like I deserve him at all now but he always reassures me otherwise. His Mom is a really judgmental person and I would die if I ever passed this on and she ever found out, much less at all. I was handed a very unlucky hand in life. I was born with complete heart block and have a pacemaker, which later on I developed hardcore panic attacks and then panic disorder. My concern is that I have Celiac Disease, Endometriosis, Fibromyalgia and psoriasis so those extremely immunocompromising conditions I think are what have given me MAYBE one day or a couple days here and there of relief, but now I have another outbreak and my period triggers them because of my endo so now I'm afraid I'll have 3 outbreaks a month-- which is bullsh*t since I'm on valacyclovir 500mg and paid out of pocket on a disability income because they're not covered. I'm doing this so I don't pass it onto him if I haven't already but if the outbreaks are still so frequent then I ask myself what's the point? Is it really even helping at all? Our sex life is basically non existent and the one time we could have sex made it worth the wait but I feel like the negatives with me far outweigh the positives and that one day maybe he will have had enough. He's the most amazing man I've ever known and I don't want to hurt him, but the stress of worrying about that constantly is hurting me. That could be in part causing it. My question is how immunocompromised am I actually? I heard valacyclovir suppresses the virus AND the immune system. Is this true? What can I even do at this point? I want to avoid him ever suffering the way I do. It's mostly mental but physically it feels like I have paper cuts all near the opening of my vag/vulva, and when I saw in my mirror that it was a full blown outbreak yet again, I bawled my eyes out and cried myself to sleep while he held me there. I know people may think this is no big deal; that it's just a skin condition but for somebody in my position it's sheer hell. I know I can't deal with 3 outbreaks a month... like I just can't do it. I'm honestly at a complete loss and am crying as I type this because I'm already so overwhelmed without this condition that the addition of it scares me. Not to mention valacyclovir has so many nasty side effects like dehydration which I feel so bad, but it could do long term damage to my organs; kidneys and liver, the only organs that even work at this point. Somebody please... tell me what I can do. To protect my boyfriend at this point and to protect myself. I had to have surgery earlier this year that resulted in me losing my fallopian tubes and now I've got this.. I need some kind of ray of hope.