OverTheRainbow

I read tonight - Once you have herpes at one site, it is rare to then get the same type at another site. This is because your body develops antibodies which prevent this from happening. and yet another site said that you should be careful in first months after outbreak as it is possible to spread it (yourself) to other areas of your body during that time as your body hasn't developed the antibodies yet. The first quote was from the NZ Herpes Foundation

I can understand your apprehension. My first outbreak happened when I had been single for 10 months and not had a partner (in that time). I'm having disclosure palpitations at the moment myself and admit it puts me off even dating! I've read quite a bit on the 'when to disclose' question and it seems to me the general consensus is to disclose when you've built some trust with the person (obviously prior to getting intimate). Only you will know the right time. Right now though it seems you have some other issues to sort out before you even get to that point. Good luck with whatever you decide but go be happy x

I have no idea whether you have HSV or not, however I believe the tests are not conclusive (at least they don't test in Australia as these are known to return false positives/negatives). Instead you can only get accurate testing from a lesion.

Most of what I've located on the Internet indicates HSV2 transmission to mouth is not likely but possible with a compromised immune system e.g. HIV, AIDS, Lupus or undergoing chemotherapy.

Amando I was wondering if you could provide a reference on this? Thanks!

Hi everyone, I was diagnosed with HSV2 a year ago and am seeking clarification on the safety of oral sex. I've read lots of conflicting information on the subject, some articles saying HSV2 doesn't like to live around the mouth (it prefers the nerve ganglia in the nether regions), and other articles saying it can be spread from genitals to mouth! References would be much appreciated! Also wondering if it's worthwhile taking suppressive therapy if I'm not having noticeable outbreaks? I had my first outbreak (terrible), followed by another one or two (less terrible), and now I get occasional nerve pain which lasts a few seconds... then nothing. From what I've read I'm not really a candidate for therapy, however would any future partner benefit from this (even if I'm not having outbreaks)? Thanks

Thanks HikingGirl

Thanks so much @HikingGirl and @Katidid. Think I'll keep it to myself for now. It's kind of a lonely place to be. I wish I could talk to a close friend or something but too worried they won't see me the same. I'll talk to my dr about preventer however don't have a partner so should I just wait and eee?

Thanks for sharing. I don't know if he'd keep it to himself. It's a big risk!!

Hi. I've just had what I believe is my first OB (how do you know if it's your first?). Any topical treatments I can use to heal quickly and relieve itching? Anyone else get very itchy labia even though OB is elsewhere? Listened to recording on this page which suggested not to use anything topical - just don't know why? thanks

Just found out I'm HSV2 a few days ago and wondering if I tell my ex. We ended in Feb this year. I'm in two minds as I'd want to know but I'm worried about him keeping my privacy. Also there's no reliable test in Australia so how can I guide him on what to do to check (assuming he didn't pass it to me). Thanks

Thanks for sharing. I've just been diagnosed and intend to ask my doctor about this suggestion in a few days.

I feel the same. I've also been tested multiple times and was never aware HSV wasn't on the menu! I'm angry at doctors for not advising of this and angry at myself for not asking! I was under the impression I was all clear and advised my partners of such - as did they. Seems there's a serious lack of information/education out there and we are the ones who have suffered. I'm late 40's and it's already impossible to find a nice man, now this... Yep I'm feeling pretty negative but it's only been two days and I'm hoping I can forgive myself and everyone else. I think you'll get there too! You are certainly not alone x

Boy have I discovered a lot about HSV in the last two days! Newly diagnosed HSV-2 after outbreak. I'm late 40's and single mother of one. Not been in a relationship since Feb this year so very unexpected and upsetting. Yesterday I thought my life was over! Today I'm feeling a little more positive although this is still terribly upsetting and I'm still feeling like I'll be alone forever. I'm in Australia so tests etc. may differ but I was really shocked to find out all of my sex health checks did not include one of the most common STI's, and I was never informed of this so that I could take precautions. I think this is what upsets me the most. There's clearly a serious lack of education and information. I thought having sex health checks prior to being intimate was a good way to approach things. I dislike condoms - they irritate my fragile skin among other things. I have a few questions. As my outbreak is on my pubic bone, how is using a condom going to protect a future partner given a condom doesn't cover everything - or do I now have to resort to covering my entire genital area? Also, I listened to a talk by Terri Warren and she said she doesn't recommend anything topical. My Dr gave me a topical pain killer. I thought using something that would dry the blisters would be good, but wondering why topical is not good? Does anyone know? Last question is do I inform my ex's and if so how far back do I go? The only one I'm particularly concerned about is my last partner. Part of me wants to tell him so that he can protect future partners and get checked but part of me is worried he'll tell others about me! Is that selfish? We have no tests here as far as I've found out that are effective in detecting HSV anyway, which is why our sex health checks don't do them! So what can I tell him, I can't tell him get tested!? Anyway thanks for listening. This feels very lonely.