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The first year is, so I've heard, the hardest. After that your body gets some good solid antibodies going to keep things under control. Are you on suppressive therapy? If not try it. It should help with the physical symptoms. As for what HSV is doing to you mentally consider a therapist, licensed social worker, or any kind of sex positive counselor. Herpes is so common, if you end things now you'll never know what a non issue HSV actually is. I'm so sorry you are going through this, it must be so difficult. Get help. Don't do it alone. Are you close with your mom? A sister? Girlfriend? Find someone you can confide in. Huge hugs! I'm sorry this is hitting you so hard.
Don't give up. If you give up you'll never know how innocuous HSV is nor will you come to realize all the amazing things you can do.
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And truth be told he's an amazing person and we have amazing sex, I'd catch herpes over and over and over again for him. He's great and herpes is not a big deal for us.
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If you already have HSV-1 and he has HSV-1 you're not going to get it again from him. If you are immunocompromised that's a different story. Basically you guys both get cold sores. You get yours on your mouth and he gets them on his genitals. Have fun! I caught it from my asymptomatic husband. We/he had no idea he had it. We never once used a condom and we've had lots of oral and vaginal sex. It took 15 years before it showed up in me.
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It's those asymptomatic folks that spread herpes. That's how I got it too, but I don't really care. The guy I got it from is worth it...he is my husband after all.
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How do you know you didn't get it from your most recent partner? I have no idea what the culture is like in Ireland but I'm in the US where we get our puritanical panties in a bunch every time any topic of sex comes up. Oral herpes, no big deal, not transmitted sexually. Genital herpes, same viris different location, Oh my goodness it's terrible. Truth is herpes isn't terrible and it's quite common. At first it feels scary but the more you learn the less it matters and I'm sure there are plenty out there in Ireland that know this too.
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@presentmoment, what a good mom!
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My guess is false positive. Your symptoms and history just don't fit the bill.
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Great success story!
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Are you on birthday control? Hormonal birth control can cause painful sex. I dealt with it for years and had no idea the BC was causing it until I stopped taking it to make a baby with my husband. Pain when away. Now I have a low hormone IUD and it's not a problem.
Herpes is not spread in saliva. The virus she's directly from the skin. This is why skin to skin co no tact is necessary for it to spread. You just don't have the risk factors for HSV2. Definitely retest. And look into a Western Blot. I believe Washington University is the only place offering it. Your healthcare provider should be able to order it for you. Google it and see.
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Thanks for sharing!
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I agree with Presentmoment. Plus if you're straight up you won't have to hide anything or feel dishonest. And if she walks away, there will be others who won't.
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So 5 months and no second outbreak? Your taking daily antivirals right?
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It'll heal fine on it's own and if it's already scabbed over starting the meds now probably won't do much anyway. How does this compare to your first out break? I had my first 2 months ago and am just waiting, waiting, waiting for a second one. The anticipation is killing me.
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Most people get it and don't even know. If you tell them you have it and they don't care then you shouldn't either. They might already have it and not know, or you could give it to them and they'll never get symptoms. HSV is tricky, innocuous, and common. Every time anyone engages in sexual activity they are taking a risk of contracting HSV whether it is with you or someone who is unaware of their status. That's just part of being human and sexually active. The alternative is celibacy. Personally, I'd rather have herpes!
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The fact that you're taking steps to make sure your partner knows shows that you're a good, honest person! At the end of the day, anyone should appreciate that!
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Yes, go get tested again. Just start the process over with her. The fact that it's not totally honest I'm sure makes it feel a little uncomfortable. If you're not up to the task just be straight up and honest. At the end of the day that's probably the best way to clear your conscience, but only you can decide what's best for you. If it were me, I don't know what I'd do. Either 100% honest or pretend like I just found out about my ex. Dating sucks. I'm glad I'm married. Good luck!
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Immaculate infection. Hahahahahaha. Hilarious!
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If by "casual massaging" you mean rubbing genitals together then yes, that could transmit HSV, but I pictured a back massage.
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Your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. Sorry you're dealing with it this. Give it time. You'll find someone better.
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Not totally honest but you could tell her your ex just called to tell you she tested positive for HSV and that you intend to get tested too. Ask her to get tested and go through the process together. Do not have sex again until she knows.
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Keep us posted.
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It's not common but could happen. Given that your history is incongruent with your test results I'd get tested again but with a Western Blot.
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I am by no means a veteran but I might be able to give you a little bit of insight. I had my first out break 2 months ago in early December, 15 years into a monogamous relationship. You can imagine my shock!
1) I don't know. So far I have chosen to do nothing. I'm not taking antivirals either. I figure since most people have mild symptoms I'm just going to roll with it and see what happens.
2) Same as above. I have chosen not to change my diet. I like to drink coffee, wine, beer, and eat chocolate, I intend to keep it up. Again, I'm going to roll with this and see how my body handles it. If I need to make adjustments I will but for now it's life as usual.
3) I haven't had a second out break yet so it's hard to say what my game plan is. My primary out break was way more difficult psychologically than physically and since they say the first one is the worst I figure any future ones shouldn't be too big of a deal.
4) I don't know that I would say I'm an "avid" runner but I do have one full marathon and many halfs under my belt. I try to do one or two halfs a year. Again I've only had this since December and I was taking a couch break from running during that time (I can only motivate myself to run when I have a pending race scheduled) but I started training again in mid January and so far so good.
I also like to mountain bike so I'm a little more worried about what that means should I want to ride during an out break. Sometimes biking gives me yeast infections so I figure it's probably the same type of situation.
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I can’t do this anymore
in General herpes discussion
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