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  1. You're not a disgusting human. He is. The way he is acting is egregious. Document everything. Record threats. Take screen shots of texts. Save emails. He sounds super scary! Depending on how threatened you feel consider reporting this to the police. As for him pressing charges unless he can first prove that he didn't already have it then he can't press charges. Considering that it's nearly impossible to prove there's not much he can do. He'd have to have proof that he had no sexual contact with anyone for three months prior to getting a negative test result. Then show that he did not have any sexual contact between the time he was tested and the time he was with you. Herpes is sneaky. He could already have it and you could have nothing to do with it. People need to chill. If you're having sex you're going to be exposed to herpes. It's everywhere. I'd say you have more of a reason, and a better case, to press charges than get does.
  2. "Long story short, my partner never had any outbreaks and it happened to be one of those rare chances that he possibly had oral herpes and never showed any symptoms..." That's actually not rare at all. In fact 80% of people with HSV have no noticeable symptoms and don't know they have it. Those who experience symptoms are much more rare.
  3. I am so sorry you are struggling so much. Such a minor virus with such a big stigma. Educate yourself. The best you can do is read about HSV. it's really not a big deal. There is no reason to be ashamed. HSV doesn't define who you are, and no one is exempt. I've known virgins who got it genitally from their husband's cold sires. I've known women who enjoyed multiple partners for years before getting HSV. It can happen to anyone. HSV is so common that if you're sexually active it's safe to assume that you very well could end up with it. HPV too. Except HPV can cause cancer and HSV causes a rash that lasts a few days. You should speak with a therapist. It sounds like this is hitting you hard. Committing suicide over something so innocuous would be a terribly sad ending.
  4. Most people feel panicked when they get diagnosed. Every story of how it was contracted is as unique as the person who got it. No one is exempt. I've heard stories from a virgin who got it from receiving oral sex from her husband to someone with many sexual partners who didn't get it until after years of enjoying their sexuality. And yet, we all feel a little bit like we got hit over the head with a baseball bat when we hear, "herpes" from the doctor. During my primary outbreak I kept telling myself this will be the hardest one, both physically and mentally. So far I haven't had a second one so it's hard to say how I'll feel but, at least it won't be as shocking as the first! Accepting this has been a series of tiny corners that I keep turning. There are a plethora of reasons why I felt terrible and bit by bit all my reasons are broken down. I felt like I had failed my children (I didn't), but when I woke up to my child puking on me I realized I'm still the same mom I was a week before. I worried I'd be diseased and in pain, infectious to all who touched me. As I learned about HSV I realized that's not how it works. Life will go on, because it doesn't stop, and you'll just have to move along with it. Your work still expects you do be there. Your job still needs to be done. Your kids still need someone to puke on. Your friends still need someone to get coffee with. And there are lovers out there who need someone to be with. With 70 - 90% of people who have HSV1 or 2, and 80% of those folks don't know they have it, anyone sexually active should assume they'll have it soon enough, if they don't already. It's such a mild virus that most people have no noticeable symptoms. That's probably one reason for its success among humans. If you don't know you have it, you don't know your spreading it. I know it can have serious consequences in a rare minority but for the vast majority it's only herpes. A virus with a stigma that is far, far bigger than the virus itself.
  5. Oh and, @mstanya1224, I don't your story but there's a good chance your husband already had it. It's possible he's the one who gave it to you
  6. @mstanya1234, herpes doesn't kill you. In fact most people (80%) who have herpes never show symptoms. There are several viruses in the herpes family and you likely have a couple of them already. We all do. That's part of being human. HSV just sucks because of the social stigma associated with it. However, if all those people who have it and don't know, knew they had it, the stigma would be gone. Because the fact is, you are in the MINORITY if you're an adult without HSV1 or 2. Hang around here, you'll learn a lot!
  7. I think you can be deployed even if you haveve HSV 1 or 2. If what your boyfriend is saying were true we'd lose over half our military. So you might want to research that little. I'm really sorry you are going through this. I know it can feel deviststing. Especially if the one person who should be supporting us is longer available. I know it feels terrible but the more you learn about HSV the more you'll realize it's not such a big deal. It gets easier. It really does. You will find other partners who don't care, who will support you. Genuinely support and love you.
  8. You didn't spread it. Once you have it on your genitals it's free to roam anywhere in the boxer short area. As for could you have contracted HSV1. Possibly. I'd visit the doctor.
  9. ZERO resentment. The person I got it from is my husband. He had no idea he had it. But he's awesome so I'd get herpes from him any day! It could have just as easily gone the other way, no one is exempt . Actually to be 100% accurate we've never gotten tested but I had a visual diagnosis and a negative IgG, so the assumption is that he's an asymptomatic carrier, but who knows. We never went on to get tested because neither of us cared.
  10. Has your partner been tested? If bit he should be tetsed. He might already have HSV. If it's the same type as yours there will be no reason to avoid transmission. If he has been tested and he is negative then of course there is always the risk that he could acquire it from you. Even with a condom. If he's willing to take the risk of not using a condom I don't believe being intact.increases the risk of HSV transmission.
  11. Keep us posted, and remember that things will feel normal again. I hope your partner can be the supportive partner you deserve. If you got this from your FWB, it's not like you made the choice for a threesome without your husband's consent. You guys are in this together no matter what his, or your, test results reveal! Having sex has risks. When we engage in sex we assume those risks. Sex is awesome, so the risk is worth it in my opinion.
  12. I know! It's crazy to see how much doctors don't know about this virus. Part of that might be because it's just not clinically significant so they haven't spent anytime learning about it. It may not be clinically significant but for now it's socially significant. Too bad hopefully by the time my kids become sexually active it won't be so blown out of proportion socially.
  13. Chances are HSV2 won't come back orally so you'll only be dealing with genital outbreaks. And like all herpes it getsess severe and less frequent over time so it'll get better.
  14. You owe people a disclosure not a sexual autobiography. And if anyone who wants to sleep with you thinks you're a whore, find someone else to sleep with. No slut shaming. (:
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