Confused and don't know how to go forward

[mumof6]

I found out last week I have HSV1. I got tested because I felt itching and burning. I had felt it about a month before, but ignored it as I was suffering some major bleeding due to being on the depo provera needle (another story) and my parnter kicked me out after 5 months when I was upset about him flogging into my kids. Anyway, so I got tested because I know he has herpes, but which one??? Don't know, he would only call it "my friend" and never discussed any of it. I worked out he had herpes from a discussion we had within days of meeting, but he would never say anything. He did show me when he had his 2nd outbreak after meeting, but that's as far as he went with it. So, I come up positive to HSV1, never having had cold sores to my knowledge, and didn't have the normal symptoms of an outbreak as such when I was tested. I was just feeling burning and itching (not that I can turn myself into a human pretzel to check everything out). Anyway, when I tell him I am positive, he abuses me for getting tested because I would have had to ask specifically for the test, and why would I even do that??? Got me buggered; why would I do that? So, at the end of the day, he didn't outright disclose his status (he just told me he could never be intimate with another person for the rest of his life and it was between him and his doctor.....I worked it out from there, and he threatened to leave town). Now we have been broken up for almost 2 months, and I come back positive to HSV1, and he will never tell me. From when he lectured and abused me, I almost get the feeling he has HSV2......but I am not 100% because he also told me other 'facts' which I know are not facts!! So, all I can think is that I can't be with anyone because I DON'T KNOW if the virus is hiding north or south??? Just to clear it up, I don't want to see anyone else anyway, but I would like to know at least :(

[mumof6]

Oh, and is it only called herpes if it is genital? or both? My belief that both are herpes, given it's just different strains of a virus, but cold sores is the common name for the oral one. He also told me that I must be infected with type 2 because that's the only one down south, and told me it's mainly found in people of the upper class. ...... these are some of the 'facts' he came up with that make me wonder how much he has really looked into this.

[mr_hopp]

Wow, those are quite the "facts"! :) They're completely wrong, but certainly fascinating.

 

It sounds that based on his defensiveness and anger that he's in denial of giving you genital HSV-1 by going down on you with cold sores. Totally a guess on my part, but I've seen this kind of pattern in partners in denial. And here's a fact: 50% of new genital herpes cases are from people with cold sores performing oral sex on their partners.

[mumof6]

No, he definitely has herpes down south. I have seen it. I just don't know which strand...whether 1 or 2, or even if it was him that gave it to me, or where I have it given I didn't have "classic" symptoms. Hence, why I am so confused and will never know because he wont give me answers. Yes, he is angry (calls the girl he got it from "it") and totally in denial. He would rather go pigging than to stay home and face it!!

[mumof6]

Given he never went down on me, but I did on him and he already had herpes, I never gave it to him that way :) Interesting though....50% blows me away!!! Even more reason it should be a standard test given cold sores were so rampant i nthe 80's (shows when I was growing up and saw kids with them all the time. I used to think I was lucky not having those....and yet, here we are)