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Everything posted by mr_hopp

  1. Hi (h) community! Before posting here, please read our community guidelines: http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1010/please-read-herpes-opportunity-community-guidelines/p1 I'd like to open it up to our community to post to this thread to find your own (h) buddy! This is all about one-on-one live support, talking about something that for the most part isn't talked about. Simply talking about herpes with another person openly is healing and normalizing. Shame can only exist in the shadows, when it's not talked about. As much as typing out your feelings helps, I'm excited to get this community connecting on a more personal (live) level. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - STEP 1: Post what you would like in a buddy in this thread. SUGGESTIONS: Post here whether you'd like to have a buddy that's ... - male/female - in your area (if so, where do you live?) - need support or would like to give support - any other qualities you're looking for in a buddy - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - STEP 2: Private message whoever is a good match for you. You can scan this (h) buddies thread and private message anyone who you're drawn to buddying with to either talk on the phone or Skype. Simple. NOTE: PLEASE do not use this thread to market to people or otherwise spam them. And if anyone gets any message like that, please let me know ASAP so I can toss that offender from the boards. By the way, check out the video I put together about the H Opportunity weekend. Gets me choked up every time I watch it.
  2. mr_hopp

    Transmission question

    Per year
  3. Hey! A few initial questions so you can get the most personalized answers possible: Have you gotten your outbreaks swabbed to determine which strain of the virus you have on which part of your body? (Both HSV1 and HSV2 can either reside orally and/or generally and have different shedding rates depending on where they’re located.) When he got tested for all STIs, did he specify that he also wanted to be tested for herpes? (They won’t test for herpes by default, even if you specifically ask to be tested for “everything.”) 80% of Americans have oral HSV1, so the chances of him at least not having that are slim and points to the possibility that they didn’t actually test him for HSV after all. Do you take any daily suppressive medication like acyclovir to lower your viral shedding (and therefore lessen the chances of him contracting herpes by 50%)?
  4. mr_hopp

    Oral hsv2

    Do you have oral HSV2? Only about 1-2% of all oral herpes cases are HSV2, which makes it quite rare. And for those who have it, the outbreaks will be less (in both intensity and frequency). That said, for any strain of oral HSV, a topical herpes ointment should speed healing time. Have you found relief with abreva?
  5. Hi there! If I remember correctly, Terri Warren told us in a Q&A session that she would suggest waiting at least a week to make sure it has enough time to do it's suppression thing.
  6. mr_hopp

    Outbreaks while taking antiviral meds?

    Hey there! Yes, people can still have outbreaks while on antivirals. The meds cut shedding down by around 50%, so it lessens the chances of passing herpes to a partner and having full-on outbreaks (since an outbreak is basically a whole bunch of viral shedding that overwhelms the area). How often and how severe outbreaks will be depends on a whole host of factors beyond meds: how long you’ve had herpes, your immune system, how much stress is in your life and overall how healthy you are (mentally and physically).
  7. mr_hopp

    Ozone therapy???

    I hear you! We all have gone through what you’re going through to some degree. Know you’re not alone in this! How long have you had herpes? The longer you have it, the better your body gets at naturally suppressing outbreaks. On average, it takes 6 months to 1 year for your body to build up antibodies to get outbreaks under control; after that it just gets better and better with time. So the bad news is there is no quick fix to this as far as a cure is concerned (but if you aren’t already, look into getting on suppressive medication, which will cut down outbreaks and viral shedding by about half). Focus on keeping your body healthy in general by eating healthy, thinking healthy and not stressing yourself out. Know that most of the paranoia that comes with herpes is in our heads. Just because you have herpes for life doesn’t mean you’ll be dealing with the same symptoms or the same thoughts and feelings. Everything heals with time. Use this time you have as an opportunity to more and more deeply accept yourself just as you are. Focus on this more holistic and long-term approach to your overall health and your physical and mental health will benefit greatly. You got this. You’re in the right place. We’re all here for you. Hugs!
  8. mr_hopp

    L Arginine topical cream

    There hasn’t been much science to back up the whole arginine/lysine debate, but there are plenty of people who provide anecdotal evidence that supports the idea that arginine exacerbated outbreaks and lysine lessens them. I haven’t personally had any luck with taking lysine specifically and I’ve also still eaten plenty of foods with arginine in them and they haven’t altered the quantity of outbreaks I had. If you haven’t had one in years, it’s worth a try if it’s something that you’d really like to use. If you do end up getting an outbreak from it, then we have more anecdotal evidence to throw on the pile. Everyone’s body is different with many moving parts that interact in very different ways, so figuring out your personal triggers is helpful to know in the long run.
  9. mr_hopp

    Ozone therapy???

    Yes, there are unfortunately quite a bit of scams and hucksterish things out there to contend with. And I don’t believe that all of it is done with ill intent, by the way. Sometimes people believe they are cured of herpes if they don’t have an outbreak for a while and attribute that “cure” to a miracle change in diet or something of the sort. If there were actually an authentic cure for herpes, you would have definitely heard about it from legit sources.
  10. mr_hopp

    disclosing via text

    It’s a great question! It’s come up a lot on these forums over the years (I’ll try to remember to search for another good thread on this topic next time I’m at my computer). You know, having *any* important conversation via text (not just disclosing) is a double-edged sword: on one side, you’re avoiding feeling the potential rejection/pain/fear/awkwardness; but on the other, you’re also distancing yourself from the intimacy (and shared humanity) that comes with face-to-face. (Ah, so old-fashioned, right?) And here’s the kicker/mindfuck: it’s sometimes those very things we were trying to avoid that actually help to create more intimacy and trust, which creates more connection.
  11. mr_hopp

    6th outbreak, no longer care, few questions.

    Yo B-Man! Great outlook. The move toward acceptance is a mixture of time and working on your mindset/identity. And what used to be a struggle ends up being an internal battle we were having with ourselves. It’s a powerful shift to move into acceptance. Definitely frees up a lot of psychic resources ... Nice job. About the spread question, you should be good if you’ve had it for over a year since the body has had enough time to build up its natural defenses (antibodies). It’s harder to auto-inoculate then. But just to be on the safe side, putting some breathable gauze over the outbreak couldn’t hurt since everybody’s immunity is different.
  12. mr_hopp

    H Buddies, unite!

    Quick reminder: Introduce yourself here if you would like others to direct message you for H buddy connects. If you would like to connect with a H buddy, please use direct message instead of replying within this thread itself. (Helps to keep it easy to scan for folks looking for a buddy.) Thanks so much!
  13. mr_hopp

    How do I delete my account?

    YOU get a name change! YOU get a name change! You ALL get name changes! (Said with my best Oprah-esque zeal.)
  14. mr_hopp

    When is the right time

    When is the right time to disclose? When you feel that you can trust this guy with your vulnerability. (Its a good barometer because after all, if you can’t trust him with a vulnerable conversation, then trusting him in the bedroom certainly ain’t happening!) It’s partly a gut intuition, but it’s also how he treats you in general, including how he’s handled any conversations that are more real, emotional and deep. It’s great that you’ve had such great conversations so far! It does sound like there’s a deeper connection sinking in. And disclosing from a place of openness, self-acceptance and care can certainly take that connection deeper!
  15. mr_hopp

    HSV makes me a better person.

    Congratulations, you have officially discovered your herpes opportunity. Beautifully put. And I would offer that herpes didn’t make you a better person; it was simply the leverage that you needed to burn away those false beliefs that were blocking you from being your heartfelt, open self. Nice work. And I’m so glad to hear that you’re able to use this now-open heart to also help others. Spread the love. (More infectious than any virus!)
  16. I haven't passed herpes to a partner and have been married to my wife of 4 years, who hasn't gotten it yet (and for a while there we weren't using condoms, which contributed to us getting this amazing lil 18-month old baby boy!). I have always been on daily suppressive therapy, though. And we discussed the risks together to make the decision to not use condoms. However, be careful of assigning risk via people's personal stories since even though the risk is low across the general population, either someone gets 100% of herpes or 0%, no in between. But being open about it and having an open dialogue not just about herpes, but about sex and sexuality goes a long way to protecting your partner. Communication is the first line of defense to keeping your partners as safe (and loved) as possible.
  17. mr_hopp

    Take a deep breath

    Yes, this is beautiful. The you so much for sharing this ... and for being a sunflower.
  18. mr_hopp

    IgG positive?

    Hey @ummidk, Here’s a link that should be helpful that goes over the tests: https://herpeslife.com/herpes-tests/
  19. mr_hopp

    Thank you everyone!

    I’m glad you’re finding solace here @Michgirl73 ... and know that there is more and more peace and less and less suffering as time goes on. Healing is a large part perspective and also patience.
  20. mr_hopp

    Thank you

    Welcome @Findingmyself ... love the screen name, by the way. I’m glad you’re holding that as a goal for yourself. It’s a worthwhile and attainable one, for sure.
  21. mr_hopp

    It's NOT an opportunity

    "It's not an opportunity" is an understandable reflex, but like @Ishmael pointed to, what narrative are you supporting in this? (For all of us and yourself.) And hey, I certainly didn't see herpes as an opportunity when I was first diagnosed all those years ago, so I get it. But I created this site to help us all continue to shift our perspectives toward Opportunity, to help us all use the hard stuff as leverage for self-introspection and building self-esteem, self-confidence and ultimately self-love. (More infectious than any virus, by the way.) Here's a blog article I wrote after someone sent me a similar message years ago: https://herpeslife.com/a-message-i-got-its-not-an-opportunity So no, the herpes virus isn't some magical thing that creates opportunity in your life. You're the magical thing. It's ultimately each of our decisions which direction we go in. Toward opportunity or away. Also, be careful about the words you choose to use and the stories you tell yourself about what your future holds. You are creating your reality with every word. What we focus on truly does grow. Here's an article on the power of words: https://herpeslife.com/herpes-wordplay-the-power-of-words
  22. mr_hopp

    Inspirational Quotes, Anyone?

    "Unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so." — Noam Chomsky
  23. mr_hopp


    Hey @Jenn88, It's a 4% chance of transmission to men if no condoms or medication is used and you avoid sex during outbreaks. (10% for women.) All the helpful facts are all boiled down in the handouts that come with the e-book here: https://herpeslife.com/opportunity/free-ebook-signup.html
  24. mr_hopp

    Inspirational Quotes, Anyone?

    "Hurt people hurt people. We either transform our pain, or transmit it."