Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Everything posted by mr_hopp

  1. Hi @GummyBear! That does sound odd ... Hm, normally herpes outbreaks show up in a centralized locations, not over the entire body. Sounds more like how chicken pox behaves to me! (Which coincidentally is in the herpes fam.) If the blister was swabbed correctly, then that method would be the best way to verify whether it's herpes or not. Did your doc think it was a herpes outbreak?
  2. Hey @TaintedLove! Have you checked out our H Buddies thread? That's where to find folks to connect with. Here's that thread for ya:
  3. Hey JosieP and welcome! Check out our disclosure handout here where it breaks down all the transmission and shedding rates: https://herpeslife.com/opportunity/free-ebook-signup.html The numbers relating to passing herpes to a woman applies here whether the person who has herpes is male or female. Let us know if you have any more questions! I know it can be quite a confusing time, so we got your back.
  4. Oh, I feel that heartache, sister. Big hugs to you. Thank you so much for sharing yourself here with us. Amazing job being brave and disclosing even though it was hard. There are just as deep and deeper connections to be had and grieving is a natural part of this process, of letting go. Just remember — don't let your natural and healthy grieving turn sour into self-pity. You did good. And we're all here for you now. You will get back up and love again, I promise.
  5. Got it, thanks for sharing that. Since you're well beyond the 6 months to 1 year window, then your body has already had plenty of time to do its part to also bring down viral shedding/outbreaks.
  6. Hi Sircen and welcome! Daily suppressive therapy meds bring the levels of shedding down on average by around 50%, so in that way, it will lessen the chances that your regular triggers might lead to an outbreak since a full outbreak is an overload of viral shedding. And how long have you had herpes if you don't mind me asking?
  7. Hey Karyn! A good rule of thumb is to wait a week after an outbreak totally heals up to be as safe as possible with a partner who doesn't have herpes. So I would suggest the same for after prodrome symptoms disappear.
  8. Can you post this instead on our buddies thread here? Thanks!
  9. Can you post this instead on our buddies thread here? Thanks!
  10. "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." — Albert Einstein
  11. To piggyback off of @Amando's advice, since you're at the year mark, on average most people take 6 months to a year on average for their immune systems to really get the virus under control (there are exceptions to the rule, of course, but it's a good gauge). So know that in addition to whatever meds you're taking, your body is also doing a great job of healing up outbreaks and helping you have less and less outbreaks in the future. There was even a period of time when I wasn't in relationship and wasn't having sex, so I didn't take suppressive or episodic medication and I would just let outbreaks run their course on their own.
  12. Thank you for sharing this with our community! And your screen name says it all. Faith over fear. Nailed it. Enjoy the exciting blossoming of your new relationship!
  13. Hey @unbreakable! Acyclovir that is meant to take orally won't work topically, so I wouldn't try it.
  14. Brand name doesn’t work any better on average. The only upside for Valtrex is that you only need to take one pill per day whereas Acyclovir, for example, you need to take one on the morning and another in the eve.
  15. Hey all! If you have both strains genitally, then the 4% transmission rate (to males; 10% to females) would apply here since that’s the highest shedding rate of the two. (And the 4% number on the handouts is referring to genital HSV-2 specifically — I need to update that handout to make that more clear.)
  16. Ah, sorry, I misspoke. Those transmission rates (4% transmission risk to male, 10% to female, etc.) are for genital HSV-2 only, so it's safe to say, for example, that if someone only has genital HSV-1, then the transmission rate is less than 4% or 10%, respectively.
  17. Yes, the 4% transmission rate is an overall average. I don't believe that transmission rates themselves have been broken down by strain/location on the body. Edit: The 4% transmission rate to males (10% to females) are referring to genital HSV-2 only.
  18. @lali Great question! Here is a screenshot from the disclosure handout showing the shedding rates based on which HSV strain you have and whether it's oral or genital: Shedding rates aren't in lock step with transmission rates since just because the virus is shedding doesn't mean it will be passed. (For example, if there is a 5% shedding rate of HSV-1 genital, then it doesn't mean that there will be a 5% transmission rate.) Does that help?
  19. Hey @Melissa! The short answer here is that you don't. The only way to tell if you have it genitally as well is to actually have an outbreak that is swabbable. But even with minor bumps, you can try to get the area swabbed. If the bumps are from herpes, then it should be shedding enough virus that would be detectable even without open sores. (And wow, he needs a new doc who knows the basics!)
  20. Are you male or female? With both condoms and daily suppressive therapy, the average chances of passing genital herpes to a male is 1% per year, to a female is 2.5% per year. Download our free handouts for more details: https://herpeslife.com/opportunity/free-ebook-signup.html?sc=forum
  21. Yep, same dosage in the states, too. The only reason you’d bump up the dosage is for episodic treatment taken when an outbreak first comes on, especially early on (within the first year of getting herpes) before your body has had enough time to develop antibodies to naturally suppress outbreaks (both in frequency and severity). But if your outbreaks are manageable, then even bumping up the dosage episodically wouldn’t be necessary.
  22. @Diane & @Lovenhope please post in the H Buddies thread itself and feel free to direct message folks in that thread to seek out buddies/mentors. I also offer private one-on-one Skype coaching if that feels like a good fit for you; more details at www.adriallifecoaching.com.
  23. 50% of all new genital herpes cases are HSV-1 due to receiving oral sex and passing it from mouth to genitals, so it's pretty common. And yes, if he already carries HSV-1 antibodies, then that does lessen the risk of transmission to other parts of his body. It basically carries the same risk as auto-inoculation (spreading your own herpes outbreak to other parts of the body), which becomes lower and lower the more time the body has a chance to build up immunity to the virus strain.
  24. The majority of folks have oral HSV-1. If you have genital HSV-1, someone going down on you is the same as them kissing the 80% of folks who get cold sores (oral HSV-1). Cuddling and fingering when you're not having an active outbreak should be just fine (aka carries lower risk) since the amount the virus sheds during asymptomatic viral shedding is generally not enough to break through non-mucus membrane skin. It's also going to depend on where your outbreaks occur as that's where the asymptomatic viral shedding will tend to concentrate around. What's most important is to have open conversations with your partner(s) around the actual risks involved and put it all in context so you're both on the same page.
  25. My wife hasn't gotten herpes yet after 4 years of being together and we also have a 2-year-old toddler blasting around the house. As time goes on, your body will develop more and more immunity, which will naturally help in protecting your wife (it will generally take 6 months to a year for your antibodies to build up to a level that will start to keep the virus at bay). My wife and I opted for no condoms — hence the baby! — with daily suppressive therapy (Acyclovir twice a day to cut viral shedding in half), but each couple and person is different in their risk tolerance, so talk it all out, get on the same page. For what it's worth, in my experience and for the vast majority of my clients, the bark is so much worse than the bite in how herpes is experienced in real life (vs those terrifying fantasies) and the actual impact it tends to have on most relationships is minimal. The fear and worst-case scenarios that we project onto herpes is the actual thing that can wreck relationships and our lives, not the herpes itself. Keep your head up and certainly be as careful as you can be. Take whatever precautions make both of you feel good, and be hyper-vigilant around controlling and reframing the paranoia that can run rampant in your mind. You got this.
  • Create New...