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Recently diagnosed HSV need help!!

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Hello all, this is my first time posting in one of these forums. I’ve been reading through and it’s given me a lot of hope but I’m still feeling pretty depressed and anxious about this. I am 22 years old and I was diagnosed a month before my 22nd birthday (happy birthday to me right). I honestly had never even really heard about herpes and growing up in a catholic household I never even had “the talk”. I’m also Asian American and I feel like it’s so taboo for me to have it I honestly feel so disappointed in myself and I keep replaying when I believe I got infected because I should’ve just known better. Getting my herpes diagnosis did help me come to some realizations though. Before herpes, I honestly was pretty reckless with my sexual health and I thought sex was validation. I’m not saying I am a slut I didn’t sleep with a lot of people but also so what?! I’m in my 20’s my last year of college I should be allowed to have fun, right? But here we are. I just feel like I can’t be care free when I’m going out now and it just sucks because now when I’m around all my friends I just can’t stop thinking about how I’m the only one who has this. I feel like if they found out they’d all judge me. I feel like I can’t even tell my family because they would disown me and cut me off. I don’t know I just feel like my life is over and reading through this forums I know it’s not but being young with this just sucks. I’m not even sure what strain I have but I’m scared that I might have passed it on to one of my closest guy friends. I thought I was being safe I am on suppressive meds and he only performed oral sex for maybe 10 seconds so I didn’t think it would be enough to transmit but a few days later he told me he was feeling different symptoms (sore throat, cough, had a high fever). He was diagnosed with chlamydia and I was too scared to tell him I had H (I know I should have told him before but we were so drunk and I know that that is not an excuse but I am still embarrassed). I don’t know what to do now, his symptoms went away but I’m just dreading the day that he might pass it on to someone and I just feel so guilty. Any advice? 

I also have some general questions. I am not sure what strain I have but I read here that it’s very rare to get hsv2 in the mouth so do you think I have ghsv1? I think I might have had an outbreak a week before this happened but it only lasted a few days. Please any advice for the future or with my situation would be so helpful. And if there are any Asian Americans on here, how did you get through getting this diagnosis??

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Hi & welcome,

Getting an initial diagnosis can be pretty devastating. I’ve been there; it’s safe to say that most people on this site have been there.

When you found out, did the nurse or doctor not indicate the type of HSV?

For what it’s worth, herpes is herpes in my opinion. There isn’t a joy of having one over the other. I would like to not have either HSV1 or HSV2, yet here we are. 

Don’t let this get you down. Over analyzing the situation isn’t going to change the outcome; over analyzing will simply rob you of any joy that you can have.

I was doom and gloom when I found out that I lost 3-4 years of my life. I’m still losing moments due to regret, shame, & fear.

Find someone to talk to who knows that “H” isn’t the end of your life or sexual life. I, like you, believed that but my husband (then boyfriend) did not. Just as he
accepted me, someone will accept you. You’re more than herpes.

As for your friends, there’s probably someone in your circle that is afraid to say anything for fear of being ridiculed. If there isn’t, that doesn’t make you any less lovable.  

I hope you realize that this isn’t your fault and it doesn’t define you. May you find comfort soon. Message me if you need to talk/vent/whatever. 

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Thank you so much for replying! It makes me hopeful knowing that you still were able to have a family after this diagnosis.

When I got diagnosed I asked what type of strain I have and they said that it doesn’t really matter when it’s down there. Do you think I should go and get checked what specific strain I have? At PPH they said that their insurance card they have that I currently use doesn’t cover it (thank god it covers my acyclovir though)! I don’t want to use my family’s insurance because I don’t want them to find out. 

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