Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Transmission to immunocompromised person talk? Help

Recommended Posts

I believe my understanding of this virus was rather minimal and naive. My doctors did not quite explain it nor did they prepare me emotionally for the aftermath. 

It is my understanding now that this virus (regardless of outbreak) can spread due to asymptomatic shedding through kissing (HSV1). 

I am torn. My family(being heavily middle eastern and conservative) had never truly made it a big deal, and simply tossed it as a fever blister and normal which can be managed by stress, so in tune, I didn't find it to be a problem. 

I recently dated someone who was taking immunosuppressive therapy from a heart transplant. I, stupidly, did not disclose having a cold sore before (as I didn't know how big of a deal it may be). 

I recently asked for more literature from my Dr. I'm confused. I havent had a sore in over 4 years, does this mean that my transmission is low? 

How do I even bring this up to the poor guy? We're ok friends so it makes it even more difficult on my end. Oh hey, btw, you have no antibodies but I gave you a fucking virus because I was ignorant and irresponsible. 

Can I just say that a previous partner contacted me? Or someone in the family gave me one recently? 

I know I'm worried and should just be honest, but in my community, talk is quick and your name is everything. I don't see myself to have a future with this person, so I dont really want to disclose I had it but to make him aware to seek medical advice. I want to do what's right for his health and not feel guilty as I do now. 

Link to comment
  • Lola25 changed the title to Transmission to immunocompromised person talk? Help

So to clarify, you have oral HSV-1, correct? To your question, the longer you've had herpes, you do tend to shed less, but since it's asymptomatic, you really just won't know when or how much. Safe to say you're shedding 9-18% of the year. (Read the free handouts for all the facts and transmission numbers broken down on one page.)

But it's certainly nowhere near that it's a given that he now has herpes just from kissing one time if you weren't having an outbreak and haven't had an outbreak for 4 years. I'd just be straight up with him. Definitely no need to avoid anything here. Say what you said here: I was unaware that it could possibly negatively impact you since cold sores are so minimized in our society since most of the world has it (70-90%). 

Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...