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Transmission to immunocompromised person talk? Help


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I believe my understanding of this virus was rather minimal and naive. My doctors did not quite explain it nor did they prepare me emotionally for the aftermath. 

It is my understanding now that this virus (regardless of outbreak) can spread due to asymptomatic shedding through kissing (HSV1). 

I am torn. My family(being heavily middle eastern and conservative) had never truly made it a big deal, and simply tossed it as a fever blister and normal which can be managed by stress, so in tune, I didn't find it to be a problem. 

I recently dated someone who was taking immunosuppressive therapy from a heart transplant. I, stupidly, did not disclose having a cold sore before (as I didn't know how big of a deal it may be). 

I recently asked for more literature from my Dr. I'm confused. I havent had a sore in over 4 years, does this mean that my transmission is low? 

How do I even bring this up to the poor guy? We're ok friends so it makes it even more difficult on my end. Oh hey, btw, you have no antibodies but I gave you a fucking virus because I was ignorant and irresponsible. 

Can I just say that a previous partner contacted me? Or someone in the family gave me one recently? 

I know I'm worried and should just be honest, but in my community, talk is quick and your name is everything. I don't see myself to have a future with this person, so I dont really want to disclose I had it but to make him aware to seek medical advice. I want to do what's right for his health and not feel guilty as I do now. 

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  • Lola25 changed the title to Transmission to immunocompromised person talk? Help

So to clarify, you have oral HSV-1, correct? To your question, the longer you've had herpes, you do tend to shed less, but since it's asymptomatic, you really just won't know when or how much. Safe to say you're shedding 9-18% of the year. (Read the free handouts for all the facts and transmission numbers broken down on one page.)

But it's certainly nowhere near that it's a given that he now has herpes just from kissing one time if you weren't having an outbreak and haven't had an outbreak for 4 years. I'd just be straight up with him. Definitely no need to avoid anything here. Say what you said here: I was unaware that it could possibly negatively impact you since cold sores are so minimized in our society since most of the world has it (70-90%). 

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