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Looking for answers to my herpes questions.

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Hey everyone, so just over a week ago, I noticed a red bump .. Growing, forming, idk (?) .. But anyways, a couple days later I went and got it checked, and should be getting the results back in a few days, but I'm pretty sure, actually positive that I'm well, positive. I'll post my story at a later date but, I have a few questions about h. Not 100% if I have oral or not, but till the results come in, I would like to treat it as though I do have both, because I might, I might not. So here come the questions as to both oral and genital h..


1) Can I share drinks? Cigarettes? Food?

Ever since it came to mind to be safe then guilty, I've been avoiding sharing anything, washing my hands constantly as I do bite my nails and am constantly working and do not understand much as to how to spreads.


2) I might as well have been born a fish, because I love being in the water. Is it safe to go swimming in pools, lakes, unwind in hot tubs? Sit in saunas or steam rooms with just my bathing suit bottoms if I don't have an outbreak?


3) In the future if I wanted kids, there's no possible way of passing it onto them through birth is there ?


4) Am I able still kiss people without sharing saliva and passing it on?


5) I read somewhere that there are certain .. Triggers? .. That can set off outbreaks, or does it just make it worse ? Can outbreaks spread to other places the your mouth, on your genitals? And if so, how ? And how can you prevent it and keep it in a minimal area? And what kind of things would be triggers ? And how could you control them ? Completely cutting them out of your life ? Controlling how often you come across it ? Can allergies set off your triggers??? What about alcohol or nicotine, would they be big ones or no ?


6) My understanding I have so far about h is that it attacks your immune system. If your not living a healthy lifestyle, if this is true, what can come out of it as a result ? Does eating healthy and working out combat this ? And if so, how often should you be striving to go out and stay in shape to help this ??


7) Up until today, I had noone to trust, or vent to/ a support system I guess, how would you go about disclosing to a family member, like your mother or father about this ??


8) How do I deal with rumors that have or will eventually come up ?


9) This seems to be a usa based website, do you guys have any meetings in canada? If so, would someone be able to message me where or how I could find somewhere to goto support meetings in person if I l like I a hitting a low and need someone to talk to in person about this without having to pay to talk to a therapist ?


10) Is there any beating this ? Or should I just give up on that idea and just learn to completely accept the fact that I have this ?? I don't want to be close-minded to this, and learn to accept it for what it is if there is no beating this so I can work on healing and beating the way I have been feeling/ thinking about myself this past while, because I've been putting myself through hell, and feel disgusted, dirty, and ashamed of myself. And there's no way I can deal with this h and move on with my life, especially if this is forever.


And I wanted to throw a big thank you to everyone who has previously posted discussions or comments before I joined, you guys have no idea the relief I felt seeing that other people are going through, and know exactly what I'm going through, and that people have accepted it and learned to rise above it, look at this as a blessing in disguise and still learn to love themselves and others. This past weel and some has completely opened my eyes to another side of life I never noticed before, and I want to learn to take this as someone said before, a life experience and learn to grow from it. Any answers would be greatly appreciated,

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Hey Canada,


Here is a site with an FAQ that will answer some of your questions.



Your doctor should be able to answer your questions and your tests will tell him if you have herpes and if so whether it is hsv-1 or hsv-2. Also, write down your questions before you go, it will help you remember when the time comes.


As for rumors, this is personal and private and you don't have to validate anyone's random speculations about your health. You should only share your health status with people you trust.


Herpes is a common virus, but it can feel like the end of the world when it's you. Everyone has shame. Ours just happens to be around this virus. All of us here are somewhere along the way to accepting this virus as a part of our lives without allowing it to define us. In other words, you aren't herpes...you have it. Remember that. I'm trying to do the same. ;)


Warm hugs, Canada. Read the blog posts and other forum posts for more information and stick around. You're gonna be okay.



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