Im about to put it all out there (welcome to my life)

[idkwhattosay]

okay, where to start, where to start...

 

I have ben with the same guy for about 4 months now, and i am falling harder than i ever had.. & i know the feeling is mutual. we have known eachother for years & years, since i was 7 actually. he is 10 years older than i. I am 18 he is 28 .. i left my exboyfriend of a year & a half for him .

 

The other day, i woke up , sat on the toilet to take my morning pee, & screamed out in pain.. I quickly whipped and took a mirror to my vagina & saw many puncture wounds around my lips. I DIDNT THINK ANYTHING OF IT, because the night before i shaved downstairs with a cheap razor.. i thought i just nipped the crap out of myself.. well this morning i woke up & brushed my teeth, started on my tounge and felt a horrible pain so i quickly rinsed and i have a small hole on my tounge , which i immediatly came to the conclusion something is going on, i have herpes.. (i read on here that you cant get herpes on the tounge is that true?) Anyways... I have a doctors appointment tommorow.. to find out forsure.. but by reading others stories i am 95% sure it is the case.

 

So i have a few questions... just to prepare myself for tommorow..

 

My current boyfriend has alot of pimple like rash stuff on his butt... i never thought anything of it other than it was odd. i thought it could be from sweat.. so first question, can you get herpes on your butt?

 

second question, is it possible he doesnt have it, if we have had unprotected sex before? like alot. our whole relationship?

 

thirdly, About a weak ago he had a crack on his mouth, cold sore type thing from the recent cold weather, could i have gotten herpes from that?

 

fourthly, im sorry i know i have alot of questions, i guess i could ask my doctor.. but im just trying to prepare myself.. but anyways, this morning he said to me how badly he wanted to have sex, but about 3 days ago we had sex for hours and hours, and he said his dick had a sore raw spot.. is there a chance he could be having an outbreak? he said he had to wait another two days before we could ( i was releaved i didnt want him to see whats going on down there, or have sex if i was possibly having an outbreak)

 

lastly, If i didnt get it from him , & he doesnt have it.. i think im just gunna bury myself in a hole.. i dont even wanna tell him, but there is a chance he could have it? do you ever find out who gave it to who? & if you do, do you hate them?

 

Side note, this has ben a really horrible year for me, after a month of being with my current boyfriend, i got pregnant, i was so stressed & i miscarried at 8 weeks.. i wasnt ready for a baby, so i consider it a misfortunant blessing, being that i wouldnt have had the heart to abort. I dont see how i can be so stupid to continue having unprotected sex.. I feel ashamed of myself for even considering that i may indeed have herpes.. but after reading you guys' post i feel that life can and will go on .. this to shall pass. it may not be easy but.. lifes not easy .. lifes showed me its really tough, but i know im tougher.. i know if it is true, i am not alone. & i thank god i stumbled across this site. thanks for taking the time to read this.. i have tons more questions but i feel as though ive ben rambeling and my mind is drawing a blank...

 

 

[idkwhattosay]

Also, how did you start the conversation to disclose?

[misskellyrenee]

1. Herpes tends to like to stay around moist areas- think anal region, vaginal opening/labia,and the mouth. The pimple type things on his rash could be just that- an itchy rash, dry skin etc.

2. It is possible that he doesn't have it, but to elude to one of your other questions. Primary outbreaks happen for many people within 2-14 days of the first exposure. Some people have the virus and it never surfaces while others will have it for years and get their first exposure long after they have been exposed.

3. Could have been a cold sore. They appear as blisters, not necessarily just dry cracked skin.

4. Repeated sex wouldn't have necessarily cause blisters to appear. Maybe the skin is a bit raw and sensitive, but to have clusters of blisters would be more suspicious.

5. It will be okay. All you can control is what you know about it. If you do have it, learn all you can about it and tell him. He deserves to know so he can get tested. Don't write him off before he can make up his own mind. He may surprise you!

[idkwhattosay]

thanks that answered alot. i guess there is only one way to know all these things, and thats for the two of us to get tested for it.. would it be wrong to milk out every last second with him before i tell him incase of losing him? or should i tell him as soon as i find out?

[misskellyrenee]

I would tell him as soon as you can. Imagine him finding out that you slept with him knowing you had it- not the best thing to do in this case :P.

I had 4 days until my official diagnosis before I told my current partner but we don't see each other too often so it wasn't too bad.

Just piece together what you want to say to him and go from there.

How I told my partner"

1. mentioned what I went to the doctors for and my symptoms

2. What it is

3. How common it is

4. You can have it and not know it and still pass it

5. Could have had it for years and you aren't sure when you got it

6. You think he should get tested too

7. How you can keep him safe if he doesn't have it