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Learning acceptance.

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     I am newly diagnosed and the worst part I see is the general isolation.

   Not the sexual limitation, but the limit on everyday platonic affection.

  Hugs and kisses, facial contact, all these things are now off-limits.

  That's my heaviest issue, coming to acceptance of these things.


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Andrew what type of HSV infection do you have? HSV 1 or HSV 2? Is it oral infection or genital? Or both? When were you diagnosed and how?

I agree that getting diagnosed with HSV infection especially with genital infection can sometimes be life altering and life consuming. Most people have really hard time accepting it but I will tell you that with time it gets better for sure. I was diagnosed long time ago and had serious health issues in meantime but here I am pregnant living with the man of my dreams.

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@Andrew Hello, 

Please know that you are safe. You are not a danger to others. HSV is a common virus. You are not bad or unclean or untouchable for having HSV, not in the slightest! 

Do you have HSV-1 or HSV-2, and is it oral, genital or both? 

I have very bad OCD, and it manifests in my HSV... it's like the guilt and shame I felt added to my OCD and made me super paranoid about passing my HSV to people when I cook them food or share a bathroom, etc. However, those fears aren't true, that's not how HSV is passed! I also would get paranoid about intimacy during outbreaks. I would see a little spot (literally an ingrown hair, pimple, etc) and think I was contagious (I wasn't!). Through self-acceptance, learning the facts about H, and sharing this knowledge with partners (whom often were super scared and uninformed), my fears reduced significantly 🙂 

Also, I wanted to ask, is a partner pressuring you about this, and that is contributing to your worries about intimacy? If so, you can talk to them about it, introduce them to facts and resources that are scientific and medically accurate, or even sit down with your partner and your doctor as you talk about options and transmission, etc. 

I am praying for you! Stay strong and be kind to yourself. Everything will be okay!!!




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   Gosh, thanks Grace!

What I have is hsv2 oral and genital.

I worry about hugs, facial contact in particular.

Everything else I'm clear on. Intimacy is not an issue, I'm searching for someone who is also positive. No partner right now.

I'm doing well enough. No issues with self-esteem. This was done to me, it's not a character flaw!

Thanks again, msg anytime,,!

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Yes! Exactly! It's not a character flaw at all! 🙂 

I understand. Please know that it'll be okay. You are aware of prodrome and outbreaks, and perhaps taking suppressive medication would be helpful when you find a partner (especially if they don't have H). Remember, you can still date someone without H! Love is Love ❤️ 

Feel free to reach out any time! 

Stay well!!



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@Andrewdid you swab your oral outbreaks? For how long have you been diagnosed?

Don't be afraid of kissing somone or huging somone. If you don't have active outbreak orally it would be extremly rare event to infect someone. HSV 2 doesn't prefer ( so to speak) oral area and sheds much more less then HSV 1 in oral area. 

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