My story- Shame,Successful disclosures , acceptance , healing

[Freebirdie]

I hope this isn’t too long. But it’s been a long time coming. It is no secret that herpes is something that takes over your life, and your mind. (If you let it)I was 19 when I contracted this virus and for many years I asked God why. I hated it. I had only had 3 sexual partners at the time. I felt upset that people who had been so promiscuous didn’t seem to catch it. Maybe it was just me, maybe I was just cursed is what I thought. Having the virus changed me as a person. The men I attracted were not good for me because I didn’t think highly of myself anymore. My doctor at the time told me if I take the pills I could not pass it. Maybe there was just limited conversation around it but I believed that. I thought well this is something I’ll just die with and never tell anyone as long as I’m taking the medication I’ll be fine. Obviously in hindsight that was a mistake. I know now that you may be putting someone at risk and should disclose so they can make that 
Choice themselves.

Disclosures

My story is not a sad one. It is my story for a reason I truly believe having this virus lead to important things I was meant to go through on my journey of life. I knew herpes was holding me back in so many ways. That I was a shell of myself. I had so many dreams then said oh but what if someone finds out. It held me hostage. Until one day God moved me. I listened to a Lauryn hill song called get out and said look I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t live in shame and I deserve happiness. I am not less of a person because I contracted a virus. Just because the virus has a stigma doesn’t mean I will stigmatize myself. Humans get sick, it happens. People live with illness every day. Not only that but in my heart I knew this was something I would defeat. I would destroy herpes in my body through eating clean and using herbs from Mother Nature. I called everyone I had not disclosed too and told them. It was the hardest thing but it freed me . I was not thinking about fear because truth is all I cared and I’d rather live in truth then die in fear. The disclosures went well. This whole time I was the one tormenting myself when others had compassion for me and didn’t make it a big deal. For so long I hid it and then I freed myself by letting it go. Thankfully my disclosures have been successful and literally men have not made it a big deal and still wanted to have sex. If someone doesn’t accept it that’s ok thats their choice but It does not make me less worthy. I am worthy of love and that comes from yourself. If you believe that you’ll attract that.

with that said everything is not peaches and cream neither is life. I still have to deal with guilt. But I am destroying this virus. I took herbs and detoxing and in one week my numbers dropped. I know if I stick with it I will completely kill this virus but the temptation of wanting to eat bad is still around so pray for me. 
 

All in all love yourself and accept yourself. You are not flawed we are human. You are worthy. The body is powerful and will heal itself. 
 

I love you 

 

 

[Cat45]

Hi Freebirdie,

What herbs are you taking and what foods are you avoiding etc? 
 

I contracted herpes when I was 19. I’m 45 now and during all those years I had outbreaks at least once or twice a year. More recently I’ve been having outbreaks constantly. I’m taking antivirals but they’re not completely working so would love to try and get more under control naturally. 
 

Good luck with it all! 

[sunshine367]

This is beautiful. You are beautiful. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am in a dark place since finding out recently and I really don't want to let this consume me anymore. I am so glad I read this. 💕 hugs.