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le sigh - how to proceed with dating and casual sex after herpes?

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I found out on Tuesday I have Herpes 2.. a few days after I had my first outbreak but I was unaware what it was. Been feeling pretty alone and upset, don’t know who I got it from. My friends have been saying so many people have it but that doesn’t change the fact that I happen to be one of those many and none of them are. I don’t know what to do or how to proceed with dating or if I can continue to have casual sex 

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Hey there @G727S

I'm sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. It's completely understandable to feel alone and upset in this situation, especially since it's a virus that comes with so much stigma and shame. It's okay to take some time to process your feelings and adjust to this new reality.

You mentioned feeling unsure about how to proceed with dating and casual sex. This is a topic that comes up a lot! And it's important to remember that having herpes doesn't mean that your dating or sex life is over. Far from it! You are perfectly worthy of — and capable of — having mind-blowingly fulfilling and satisfying relationships and sex, whether they are casual or long-term. The caveat here, of course, is that it's super important to disclose your diagnosis to potential partners so that they can make an informed decision about their own sexual health. Sure, it can be a tough conversation to have, but there are resources — see the H Opp disclosure e-book, for one: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook — and support available to help make the process easier. 

Here's a video on that "casual sex" piece that you may find helpful:

And it's soooo important to remember that you are not alone in this! Many people have herpes, and ultimately, it's just a stigmatized skin condition. A rash that our society pinned some unfair meaning to. And you can choose to call BS on what this rash means to you and your love life. That's where you can take your power back.

Take care and be kind to yourself during this time.

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  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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  • mr_hopp changed the title to le sigh - how to proceed with dating and casual sex after herpes?

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