Constant outbreaks of HSV2 and trying to date again 😭 HELP!

[OB123]

It’s been really difficult to keep a positive  mindset. Self esteem is at an all time low. I have a feeling I know who I got HSV2 from but I can’t prove it as I think it was in my system for quite awhile before I started to show symptoms and that relationship was completely over by the time I found out. I feel so stupid for getting with that person. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt that they didn’t know they had it, but there’s also a good chance I was completely betrayed and the person just didn't care about passing it on.  

I always had trust issues and catching this has greatly heightened my lack of trust in people. 

The breakouts have become more and more frequent and it’s mentally and physically draining! 

It’s so hard to meet someone now as I know I’m going to have to disclose this to them pretty early on to save both our time and energy. However the thought of being so vulnerable and honest is absolutely terrifying. There is a huge stigma with this and I don’t want to pass it onto anyone because the outbreaks are awful and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy to be honest.

I have met a guy that I’ve really clicked with, I’m taking it quite slow for now but I know the conversation is going to have to be had pretty soon, but I’m wondering how other people with this have approached and brought up the topic while trying to date?
 

It’s my first time trying to date properly in over a year since I’ve been diagnosed and I’m trying my best to adopt the positive narrative, I went and got full STD tests done and everything else was negative but the doctor prescribed me daily anti viral meds which have helped so far (it’s been 1 month), but I recently went out 2 nights in a row didn’t get much sleep and drank alcohol and now I can feel the minor symptoms of a cold and tingling in the genital area, so I know I’m shedding because I didn’t look after myself properly. It’s just so hard because it means that I have to constantly watch myself, I can’t let my hair down and enjoy a night out or 2 with friends without worrying about having an outbreak or shedding the virus! 
 

I also think it’s coming out in my mouth now too even tho the test I had was on the genital region. The mouth outbreaks are only very recent so I’m surprised that it’s now starting to happen in that area too. Honestly I’m so tired, lost, alone and confused! What’s a gal to do? 😭
 

PS. Yes I’ve read the ebook and handouts also which have been helpful and insightful 🙏🏼

 

[mr_hopp]

Hey there @OB123,

I totally get where you're coming from. First off, it's super courageous to even think about diving back into dating after everything you've been through. It sounds like you're really hitting it off with this new guy, and I'm rooting for you!

When it comes to the big talk, honesty is key, but so is timing. Maybe start by sharing how much you value trust and health in a relationship. It can be a simple, straightforward chat about your health, much like discussing any other aspect of your lives together. And remember, the right person will appreciate your honesty and the steps you're taking to manage your health.

As for those tougher outbreak times, it sounds like you're already doing a great job with the antivirals and staying informed. Just keep in mind that life's about balance. It's okay to enjoy yourself; just staying mindful of your limits is important.

You're not alone in this. So many people navigate this same journey and find ways to make it work for them, finding love and happiness on the other side. Hang in there, and keep focusing on the positive strides you're making.

Here are some videos that might help:

• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/the-herpes-talk-success
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/rejection-is-a-state-of-mind
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/herpes-talk-as-vulnerability-training
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/the-talk-stigmabusting
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/an-alternative-to-stressing
• https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/when-do-i-have-the-herpes-talk

[OB123]

@mr_hopp Thank you so much for your words!! Every little helps. 
 

I’m meeting him tonight and I’m going to disclose to him… absolute NERVOUS WRECK!! Might vomit!! 😂

 

I’ve a call booked with my doctor aswel for more facts and advice before I go!! 
 

Will keep you posted 🙏🏼

[mr_hopp]

My pleasure! You totally got this. Let your vulnerability be your strength. Let your honesty be your power. Let us know how it goes!

You have already read the disclosure ebook and the facts handouts, right? They are free and you can download them here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

[OB123]

Update!! 
 

I am honestly in so much shock at how well tonight went! We went for dinner and a nice walk and we just had such a nice time. I was so scared to bring it up at the end because the vibe was soooo amazing I didn’t want to ruin it. 
 

He then said “I feel we’re really comfortable around each other” he went to the toilet I took a few deep breaths and when he came out I told him…

 

I said you know the way you said we are so comfortable around each other well I must tell you something.

Gonna write it like a script.
 

He was like… whaaat?

I said…well I really want to be honest with you, do you know the cold sore virus? 

He was like… yeah I do, why do you have it?

I said yeah I do
 

Him: whatever that’s fine 

Me: yeah but I want to tell you it’s in the worst possible place and I’m nervous about passing it on.

Him: yeah I get that, don’t they have tablets for that. I know about it, don’t worry it’s not a big deal.

I honestly stood in shock as we walked back to the car because I had a totally different scenario played out in my head. 
 

We talked about it, he’s reassured me and told me why should something in the past affect our future. I can see you’re an amazing person. 
 

Turns out his friends who were a couple have dealt with it before and shared their story with him so he understands.
 

I am now beginning to think this HSV2 has been a blessing in disguise because I have never ever in my life let my guard down. I actually put getting to know someone first, before jumping into bed with them. I promised myself I would take it slow and show my true authenticity. Being myself, open, honest, and vulnerable has worked!! I probably would’ve never have done that if I didn’t have HSV2.

I’m absolutely smitten with this guy. It’s very early days but and I am so proud of myself for really taking the time to be my true self and do the right thing for me! 

[mr_hopp]

A big congrats for being vulnerable and courageous. This sets the stage for an honest and trusting relationship. Bravo!

[Veteran]

The best advice coming from someone who has lived with it for 37 years is to forget about it. Live your life. Take Valtrex every other day so you don’t breakout.  It will help you forget it. Don’t listen to the voices in your head everyone has some form of herpes. Don’t let your ego think your that important people think about you all the time. You can tell people or can choose to not. Have protection when having sex while dating and when you find someone who really loves you and your with forever he won’t care about it. You’ll be good and happy.