My story.

[roxy17]

So back in June 2013, I started getting this really odd tickling feeling. It worried me to death, and was so relieved to figure out that it possibly could be herpes prodrome symptoms. It was. My oby-gynoby knew right away, and gave me a blood test. My results came back positive for Herpes 2. I remember sitting in my doc's office shaking my head thinking WHEN in the hell could I have gotten it?

 

I knew when I was about 21, I had unprotected sex with a man who told me after the fact. Well, that was 27 years ago. That's a long damned time to be dormant. For all these years I have been having sex with women. As far as I know, none of them had herpes.

 

So my current partner is the only woman I have slept with in over ten years. She was tested this week, yeah she took her time, and tested positive for Herpes 1! Crazy. Now trying to figure it out. I don't want to get H1 from her, and to further complicate things for me, she has HPV. Now I'm scared to kiss her. Did I mention she is my ex? Yep. This is complicated.

 

I guess that is all. I got the prescription, took it for a couple months just when I was pmsing, cause that's when I felt like MAYBE something was weird downtown. I also bought Lysine and Vitamin C. Took both for a little while. Haven't really been bothered by anything.

 

Now I'm feeling like I really don't want to be sexual with her anymore. I don't feel safe. Her doc thinks she may still be Pos. For H2 and wants to retest her.

 

I feel no shame about it, we are mortal, humans. We get sick. I don't feel sick, and am just trying to stay healthy. Trying to figure it all out.

[WCSDancer2010]

First Roxy.... BREATHE!!! and again... BREATHE! There... Better... :)

 

It seems that this sneaky HSV thing is MUCH sneakier than people realize - I have a friend who just disclosed to me after I "came out" to everyone that she went 32+ years before her first outbreak. I was also only the second person she had told in the 2 years since she was diagnosed.

 

So my first thoughts are - you have been together for 10 years and you may or may not have shared HSV2 with her (as per your retesting). Seems she has not given you HSV1 in all that time. If you have not passed it to her and visa versa without any meds, I think you guys have been very lucky but it just shows the fickleness of this disease. Then add the stats I already posted on your other thread about HPV. Pretty much EVERYONE gets to have the disease at *some* point in your life. The vast majority do NOTHING and disappear. Only a few turn into cancer, and that takes about 5 years to be dangerous and is VERY treatable when caught early on. You both just need to be very vigilant about your Pap smears.

 

So what it comes down to is you both have at least one variety of a what is really a nuisance skin condition. One that you share with a large majority of the population. One that won't go away (at least, not in the forseeable future until a cure is found). One that is harmless except for the pain of the outbreaks (which usually lessen over time.. I hardly ever get beyond the Prodrome stage and more and I had some horrid breakouts when I first got it).

 

I'm a little confused about your status (is she currently an ex or a past ex that you got back together with... I assumed the latter from your post). Not that it really matters as far as who got what when...because you will likely never know.

 

"For all these years I have been having sex with women. As far as I know, none of them had herpes."

 

And there's the rub.... they probably don't know either because unless they have been tested (and don't make me go there... I'm on a mission to get H+ testing as part of EVERY STD test when people go in for their test...our lovely CDC currently recommends against H+ testing unless it's to diagnose...SMH) THEY DON'T KNOW EITHER.... along with a HUGE percentage of the population.... so if you go back into the dating world, you will be back at square one.

 

The way I look at it ... *I* am SAFER than the majority of the people out there, because I KNOW I have it and I can take precautions to keep from passing it on. So perhaps you and your partner need to sit down, have a long talk, and come up with a plan to do your best to protect each other from trading off your HSV strains.

 

BTW, does she know WHERE she has HSV1? Likely it's oral but it very well *could* be genital, in which case kissing isn't an issue. And you are more likely to pass HSV2 to her than she is to pass HSV1 to you... (see the transmission rates on the handout).

 

As a thought... I'm guessing your best bet to protect her is to not share ... er... toys. I don't know everything about F2F sex but I assume your genitals don't get a lot of solid contact which is how we tend to get it from each other...and may explain why you likely have not passed it to your past partners.

 

Bottom line.... BREATHE! Get educated. Talk to your partner. And keep reading here. Over time you may come to realize that with both HPV and Herpes, you are actually in "very good company". You certainly are NOT alone. Hope this helps...

 

(((HUGS)))