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Female-female sexual encounter - chances of passing herpes?

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I'm a female, and about a week ago, I made sexual contact with another female. The next day, she informs me that she has herpes :-)....She assured me (many times) that I had nothing to worry about, claims she takes her medication, hasn't had an outbreak in a year, monitors/knows her body...


I want to go get tested for herpes ASAP but the only thing stopping me is that from what I read and from what I understand, it takes a minute for the virus to show up in your body thru a blood test and I don't want to be tested negative to only find out it was an inaccurate test...So, I'm thinking it would be best to wait at least a month and then get tested...but not knowing now is getting at me.


We didn't engage in oral sex, I only fingered her and we did a lot of grinding (sorry I don't know the nice way to put that into words...). We were both high, so the sex was quite dry..in terms of bodily fluids.


Not going to get the answer I want until I am able to get tested but any thoughts, opinions or advice on this in the mean time?


Thanks in advance. It's been really helpful reading the discussions and info here!

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First, welcome to the Forum - so glad you found us!


Be thankful she told you, even if it WAS after the fact. Many people are never told and find out years later when they have passed it on unwittingly. At least you can do the responsible thing and get tested...


That said, given she is on suppressive therapy the odds are in your favor that you are ok. Yes, you need to wait (unless you think you are having an outbreak - as the blisters can be swabbed) ... 12-16 weeks is preferable. More info here:




Best thing you can do in the meantime is to try to just get informed but not freak out. Those of us who have had it for some time will all tell you - it's not the end of the world if you have it. To us, it's just an annoying skin condition and a nuisance when it comes to relationships. Otherwise life goes on.


And use this as a learning experience regarding pre-sex disclosures - it's ALWAYS a good idea (even for casual encounters) to ask about their status and to use precautions no matter what they tell you until you are in an exclusive, monogamous relationship. Sorry to be a buzzkill but facts are facts and you just learned from this experience that people are not always up front (sadly, even if you ask them) about their status.


Good luck - and keep us informed. And ask away if you have any more questions. We are here for you :)



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