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Breaking that chain of deceit of not disclosing herpes

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I found out I had herpes in 2010... The guy I was with didn't tell me.... I've decided I couldn't be like him... I had to break that chain and make sure whoever I'm involved with I must disclose that I have herpes... I can't do what was done to me... When I told the guy I was with he said, "Stop crying. The world isn't over. You're not going to die..."


So about a month later, he came to my house... He didn't ask how I was or anything.. So we went ahead and had sex again and no we didn't use protection... I had to clarify to myself that it was him... He didn't ask if I was having an outbreak or anything... He was all about getting his and me well I was like hurry up so you can leave... My mother says that it's no one's business at all... But me, well I think different... If I could be in a herpes commercial I would or be on a billboard I would but I respect how my mother feels.... Maybe one day she will change...

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I'm proud of you for breaking the chain, elle. It takes a strong, courageous person with high integrity to do the opposite of what was done to them. And this is exactly the kind of way of being that changes the way the world works for the better. It's where the cycle of abuse gets broken and love emerges. And it takes more work, more awareness, more self-knowing. And it's worth it.


Reminds me of a Mother Theresa poem ...


"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway."


Thank you for your dedication to what you know is right, elle. A role model for integrity. And even when others don't do good, do good anyway.


P.S. If you're interested in being a face of someone who is breaking the herpes shame cycle, email me. I'm looking for good people. ;)


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  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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