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elle

real confirmation from the guy who gave me herpes

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I was so speechless on Monday Sept 24th... The guy that gave me herpes ... Well I finally got a confirmation today that he has herpes and gave it to me. His brother is a good friend and today I said I need to call his brother and tell him... Prior to me hooking up with this guy I asked him (the one i called, your brothers is trying to talk to me and he said Elle stay away from him but I didn't listen. I went on Elle's hardheaded choices and boom I was given a gift. I said please forgive me to this guy and he said Elle I love u 2 death and when I told u 2 say away from him I already knew it. The guy that gave it to me said he didn't have it and blah blah blah a bunch of lies... I feel a certain way... It's like finding out all over again but with no pain, no more learning how to take a shit and wishing I didn't have to go to the bathroom bec it burns.. I figured I would share with this.. i'm still in a kind of shock and still can't believe it, im verify sure that i will get over it soon.. i guess it just blows my mind, if i would have just listen to my friend i wouldnt have been in this situation...

 

Elle Elle

 

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I go back in forth in my mind much like maybe you do. It's very recent that it happened to me. If only I would've listened and not been with that person I wouldn't be in this situation. I have no real confirmation from the person I truly believe gave it to me but his denial and absence after I disclosed to him is enough of verification that he is hiding a lot from himself and others. I understand you. I think ultimately it's about forgiving ourselves for being human. I didn't listen to my friends or family or the voice inside me saying he's bad news. I loved the guy I wanted to believe he would never put me at risk. However, he previously had hurt me repeatedly and always put me in difficult situations and then when it was difficult he bailed out. So I do blame myself because my gut knew he was no good but who's to say this wouldn't have happened to me because of someone else or that it was someone else? You will overcome. Accepting the apology we never are going to get and forgiveness really can free us. I hope you are feeling better

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