Just diagnosed with herpes - have some unanswered questions.

[owl355]

Hi everyone,

 

I had a physical exam earlier this week was diagnosed with herpes. I'm still waiting for the test results back, but am obviously pretty freaked out at the probability of having herpes. My doctor gave me very little information while there - basically she just wrote me a prescription for Valtrex and told me they'd call me when the tests come back, so needless to say I've got some questions.

 

I've done a lot of research on my own and so I know that everyone's experience is different, but I'm just curious about what I should generally expect? I'm still in the midst of my first outbreak which has been mild in comparison to many stories I've read - just one bump that eventually opened and then healed on its own, followed by a similar bump on the opposite side a few days later (the gyno said it was likely that the first bump infected the opposite side because they touch so frequently). I wondered if this was indicative of how the rest of my outbreaks will be? I read that outbreaks become less frequent and less severe over time, so does that mean I generally will not have too bad of outbreaks?

 

Also, I have a boyfriend and am curious about how to proceed with our sexual life. I haven't told him about it yet because I've been waiting for the confirmation from the tests, and obviously have abstained from sex since the breakout started. While I know it's possible to have the virus in your system for years and it become active randomly, I feel that it's a strong possibility that I got it from him. He had a fever blister on his mouth a few weeks ago and performed oral sex on me, and about a week and a half later I noticed the first bump. If this was the case, is it possible for us to continue with our normal sexual activity, since we would both have the same strand, even though his is oral and mine genital? Obviously we would get him tested to see if he had the same type first.

 

Sorry this was so long! Freaking out a little but trying to be optimistic toward the future. Very thankful for the support I've found from this forum so far.

[ClementineK]

Hey there!

 

I was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 about 5 months ago when I had my first outbreak, and am currently in the middle of my second ob. Like you (probably), my boyfriend at the time had a cold sore and ended up spreading the virus to my genitals.

 

So, regarding what to expect, you should know that HSV-1 infections tend to be less severe and less frequent than HSV-2 infections, which is good news. Of course, I can't diagnose you, but it sounds like your bf's fever blister is probably cold sores (of the HSV-1 variety). During my first outbreak, I had a similar thing happen, where sores started on one side, and transferred to the other. My ob lasted about 2 weeks, mostly due to a second wave of sores that was HELLA painful. I'm a grad student, so it didn't really keep my from any of my responsibilities, but life was a little miserable for a while. I would bet that being on Valtrex will make your ob less sever though (and I wasn't on meds at all.)

 

I had no symptoms at all for five months, and right now I'm in the middle of a very mild ob. I have about 5 sores, none too painful, and none of them have spread to the other "side." I'm also taking acyclovir this time around, which I'm sure is helping.

 

There's a disclosure handout with the e-book that will help a lot for you to tell your boyfriend. As he likely has the virus, yes, it's less likely that you will pass it back to him genitally. However, it can happen. My doc even told me that she'd seen cases of auto-innoculation (where you have the oral virus and accidentally touch yourself, transferring it to the new region). Again, that's rare, but possible. Condoms reduce the risk, as does taking suppressive medication.

 

I completely understand the feelings of freaking out, because the word "herpes" is made out to be such a horrible thing. But at least in my experience, it's really not. It's a minor annoyance some of the time, and most of the time I don't even think about it. Disclosure adds a new element to sexual relationships, but any guy who can't look past a virus to see how amazing you are is not really worth your time.

[WCSDancer2010]

@owl355

 

Hello and welcome...

 

Clementine pretty well covered it but here's the links to the handouts ... also, check out the FAQs section ... lots of great answers in the links there. ;)

 

FAQs:

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1758/frequently-asked-questions-on-herpes-and-popular-conversations/p1

 

Handouts:

http://bit.lyh-opp-diagnosis-handout/

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

 

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

 

I've had oral herpes since I was 3 and genital since I was 17... I'm 52 now and I promise you it has not had a major effect on my life. Yeah , I've had a couple rejections, but to be honest, every one of those guys was likely not a good match for me in the long run. :P

 

You will be fine. It definitely sounds like you got Oral H from the oral sex with the cold sore. Sadly people are not informed of the issues with Oral Herpes 1. The good thing is that you will both have the same kinds so it shouldn't change your sex like...just be careful for the first few months to not touch/scratch your eyes after touching yourself in that area... you CAN make it spread (tho it's not all that simple...but it can happen) ... after about 4-6 months you should have the antibodies to it so you can relax more

 

((HUGS))

[Silliness]

I totally feel your pain. Unfortunately I have hsv2. But my for lab outbreak was very very small - smaller than a dime- I checked - I mean how else will I know what this looks like -- ok I thought I was careful. I checked visually before sex and condoms and asking the questions prior. But well still got it. Made my calls when my results came in. So I did my part so to speak. I mean I believe one of the men I was with game me this - now I am scared I have given it to others. - I am the atypical promiscuous girl - no judgment zone right?! - it is what it is--- this place has helped me already. Just saying. And I hope I we can both find more support here.

 

Hugs and good luck!

 

[WCSDancer2010]

I checked visually before sex and condoms and asking the questions prior.

 

That is the BIGGEST mistake people do - people think that you can "see" the virus on another, or there is a discharge/odor if someone has a STD ... I had to explain to one guy THREE TIMES that it's a fallacy - and he's still out there playing around very likely without condoms (he was a brief fling... and he never had condoms on him/at his place ... SMH ) :(