Hsv 1 genital

[Skyj713]

I acquired hsv 1 genitally. It's been years with no outbreaks. I've talked to a few doctors and say disclosure is up to the individual due to it being extremely rare to pass and that transmission rate approaches 0 after the first 6 months of initial exposure, and that transmission is limited to a woman giving birth if she is shedding during that time. I would like to know peoples opinions and thoughts on the advice that I've been given.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Skyj713

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

First, I have to put this out there:

 

AAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! ~X( There... that feels better....

 

Yes - your Drs are correct that H1 genitally sheds a LOT less. However, 50% of all new genital cases of H are H1 ... most from oral sex but there ARE cases on here who got it genitally from someone who had it down there.

 

Look at it this way - if you had a cold and you still have the sniffles, odds are minor that you can pass it on, but you will do what you can to protect your friends from getting it and you will tell someone who comes up to give you a kiss that perhaps this isn't the best time (and they may say they don't care and kiss you anyway, but you at least warned them of the risk, right???)

 

I can't tell by the name for sure if you are a gal or a guy, but women are twice as susceptible to get H as men. The point the Dr was making about women and childbirth is that if they get H while pregnant it puts the baby at a much higher risk of getting it during delivery because the woman still doesn't have sufficient antibodies to stop OB's/shedding and if that happens during delivery, the baby can get it and its very serious for them because they have no immune system at all to fight it and it can be fatal for them. It's rare, and if the Dr knows she has H then they will monitor the woman and they may elect for a Cesarean if there is ANY chance the baby could be affected during birth.

 

We believe here that it's only right to give every partner the facts and let them choose what their comfort with the risk factors are. In your case, if they already have H1 orally they are reasonably safe, but they still have the right to know because we DO have a few members who got H1 in both places. If they have it genitally then you are good to go - you can't give them "more" H1 down there.

 

Having H gives you the perfect excuse to have the STD talk for YOUR sake. You need to protect yourself from getting any further STD's (you could STILL get HSV2 for instance) and to ask your partner to get tested and SEE their results (as many believe they have been tested for H and have not actually had that test) and show them your recent results so you both start out knowing the status of the other (caveat: if they had sex with someone else in the previous 4 months, then they could show up negative for any recently acquired STD... but you are at least cutting your risks down for any established infection)

 

Or to put it another way ... if the roles were reversed, wouldn't you want THEM to tell you about the risk?

 

(((HUGS)))

[WCSDancer2010]

These links may help you to get more clarity as well :)

 

http://herpeslife.com/hsv-1-hsv-2-types-of-herpes/

http://herpeslife.com/genital-hsv-1-herpes-and-oral-sex/

 

FAQs:

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1758/frequently-asked-questions-on-herpes-and-popular-conversations/p1

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

[Skyj713]

Thanks so much for your feedback. I am a gal. And I've told one partner and they rejected me. So the last guy I did not tell because of this advice. However, I don't feel that way. I feel I want to disclose and if they reject me then I'm quite fine with that because I'm not ashamed of it and deserve love just as much as the next girl who doesn't have it. I wanted to tell the last guy I dated but we went out got drunk and ended up in bed. So at that point I took the advice of not disclosing because of the advice given and with already sleeping together I didn't know how I could now tell him. Nor did I think we would continue dating but we really fell for each other. We broke up because he has a lot going on his life and just not ready for a relationship. Although we are not together, if we were ever to reconnect I want to disclose before any sexual activity. Do you have any advice on how to go about this?! This is hypothetical because i don't know if we will cross paths again, but If it does happen I want to let him know because this is someone I could see spending my life with and I want to be completely honest. If I find a new partner I'm ok with how to disclose, but with this guy I don't want him to feel like I deceived him because that was not my intention at all.

[WCSDancer2010]

OK - so, this isn't personal but just how I see it:

 

but with this guy I don't want him to feel like I deceived him because that was not my intention at all.

 

While it may not have been your intention, it sounds like you continued to have sex with him after the first time (which I will give you a "pass" on because of the advice you were given and the alcohol ;) ). So of course it will look like deception ... if you are in a loving relationship then honesty and integrity are paramount. So even though you were advised by the Medical community that you don't have to tell, at some point, your partner would have been entitled to know, even with that advise. So if you happen to get back together, you are just plain going to have to tell him that you were ill-advised, AND that you realized after you started getting serious that you probably should have told him but you didn't know how. And that you now understand more about the virus and while you still believe that the liklihood of him getting it is slim (and that the odds are MUCH higher for him to get it from Oral Sex from someone he might have a fling with because most don't know they have it or that it can go south) you want to re-start with a clean slate and give him the option to continue seeing you.

 

Check out the Success Stories on here - and my Wingman blog as well for some perspective on the subject :)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 )

 

(((HUGS)))