Primary herpes outbreak... Now what?

[Allison]

I am really glad I found this forum to talk and get advice from others who are living with herpes.

 

After having symptoms that I have never experienced before, I went to my PCP to get tested. I never expected it would be this virus. When he told me I was currently experiencing what is called the "Primary Outbreak" of Herpes, I broke down and started crying. The social stigma associated with this is the first thing that ran through my mind; How in high school kids used to make fun of a girl because her name rhymed with Herpes... I never REALLY knew if she had it or not, and neither did the rest of my high school class. And then followed the probably normal things; My life is over, I will never have sex again, my relationship is over, I am disgusting, I will have this for the rest of my life, how will this effect my overall health? This is going to limit me from living my life how I do now.

 

Currently I am on day 3 of my first outbreak, day 1 of medication. This is honestly the most uncomfortable thing I have ever experienced. I can't move my legs too quick because my lymph nodes are swollen and painful, these lesions hurt when I walk, when they they are touched by anything, my overall body feels sick. And on top of everything I also have a UTI. I know they say drinking water helps to clear your urinary system, but every time I reach for that water bottle, a little voice inside my head curses at me because of how painful going to the bathroom will be. Will I always have a UTI when I experience a breakout? Or any other BI or inflammatory thing for that matter?

 

So far I have found that long maxi skirts are my friend. I haven't wanted to get out of bed these last couple days. But this morning I discovered there IS a pair of underwear that I can wear and not feel constant rubbing or pain!! Hallelujah!! I've also found that showering really helps with the discomfort, and keeping the area clean and dry helps as well.

 

Even though i'm going through only my first outbreak, I am constantly thinking about what this means for Me for the rest of my life. Using protection every time during sex, no sex when there are active lesions, understanding what it feels like when an outbreak is about to occur so I can get treatment immediately. But what else does this mean for my sex life?

What I really want to know is... Is a dental dam always going to be necessary from now on?? I know this isn't the most crucial question to ask, but I am a 25 year old female who just started a great relationship with an Amazing MAN who, even after I told him what I was going through and told him he should be tested, told me nothing changes between us and it is me as a whole he is interested in. We also had great sex before this happened.

(Side note: I am aware that this man could have potentially given me this. But could I also have already had it and the outbreak just randomly got triggered by something??)

 

In the end, this quote I found from an article really helps me put things into perspective, "Before you judge your partners, however, evaluate your own activity. Were you responsible about STD testing? Did you always practice safer sex when it was appropriate? Did you disclose any sexual health issues before you had sex with each new partner and ask about his or her own history? It's unfair to hold others to standards you cannot uphold yourself."

[WCSDancer2010]

I know they say drinking water helps to clear your urinary system, but every time I reach for that water bottle, a little voice inside my head curses at me because of how painful going to the bathroom will be. Will I always have a UTI when I experience a breakout? Or any other BI or inflammatory thing for that matter?

 

No you won't always get a UTI ... and I'll post some hints below to help you through the OB - but for peeing, make sure you DO drink plenty (and take Cranberry supplements to help the UTI - they really work!) and when you go, go in the shower or pour water over the area as you pee - it helps to reduce the sting a LOT... then really dry the area well with a blow drier ;)

 

Maxi Skirts and going commando will help a LOT :)

 

So, do you know if you have HSV1 or 2? If you got it soon after sex with the new guy, odds are you got it from him. If it's H1 odds are it was from Oral sex. Knowing that will help me to give you more accurate info on transmission rates, tho you can find a lot of the info in the handouts (link below)

 

And that quote you found was soooo true! Most of us are here because we didn't have the STD talk beforehand or if we did, we trusted that the person was not only being honest, but that they were actually tested because we don't know that the system has let us down there :( But we have to own up that if *we* didn't ask to SEE their STD results, well, it's not all their fault then, is it? ;)

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Hints:

 

Go Commando as much as possible - getting air to the area can help to dry it out more quickly

 

If it hurts to pee, either pee in the shower or pour a cup of water over the area as you pee to dilute the urine…..

 

Reduce stress as much as possible - Herpes feeds off stress!!! It can become a good barometer for you that your body needs attention in some form or other

 

Look up Trigger Foods/triggers on here in the FAQ and search bar - lots of topics on them ... the main foods are chocolate and nuts but you want to learn about the Lysine/Argenine balance that can help keep Herpes under control

 

Epsom Salts baths can do wonders for some. Sit in the bath and dump a few handfuls of the salts right between your legs. Relax and let the salts do their thing then get out and dry off, finishing with a blow drier set on low heat to really get the area dry.

 

These 4 things seem to do the most help for the most people. Aloe Vera CREAM (make sure ALOE is one of the first ingredients and there isn't a bunch of other crap like petroleum and if it has glycerine, it's AFTER the Aloe in the ingredients .. go to a Health food store for your best chance of getting a good product) or Zinc cream may help during the day to keep it from sticking and help relieve the pain ..

 

Also: Gold Bond Spray powder - right after exercising/hot showers/etc. Supposedly really cools the area ;)

 

Herpes facts video

[Allison]

WCSDancer2010 Thank you, you are a life saver!

 

I'll make sure to use all of these tips, but I will be back with questions in the future iI'm sure

 

[Allison]

Just wanted to follow up, you had asked if I knew if I had H1 or H2. I just found out from the blood work that I have H1. What kind of a difference does that make?

[WCSDancer2010]

Genital HSV1 sheds less than GVSV2 .... (see the handouts) ... also if your friend has HSV1 oral (VERY possible even tho he may not know it) then it's not an issue ... but the risk of transferring to his mouth with HSV1 genital is likely about 1-2% ... possibly a lot less ;)