The path of self-recognition

[Sherry]

Just want to commend you on a job well done. Great site. You are such an inspiration!

 

I would like to share with you something I read on another site about personal and spiritual growth . . .

 

Life is about independence and individuality. It is a journey not a destination and every day we get to choose our own path.

 

Life is not about sadness and regret, it is about “now” and how you decide to finish.

 

There are no failures when you can say “lesson learned.”

 

I have been awakened and enlightened by a wonderful friend, and her teachings have helped me on my journey of self-recognition and growth and in the midst of it all I discovered I have herpes. I take one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time trying to stay in the now and not worry about what is to come. I have to admit I am terrified of having the herpes talk, but it is inevitable as I am embarking on a relationship with someone who I am extremely drawn to and he to me. We have not yet met but are planning to in the near future. I am waiting to see how we connect on that level before I decide if I will even need to discuss it. I don’t want to lure him in and then spring it on him but I want to be sure he cares enough about me that I feel comfortable sharing my deepest secret with him. I am trying to stay positive about it and am trying to orchestrate the scenario of what I will say. I cannot predict the reaction and will not even try. Just be in the moment and take it as it comes. Prepare myself for the worst, hope for the best and deal with what comes. I am a strong and spiritually beautiful woman and any man should be thrilled to have me as his life partner. If he rejects me, his loss. I will continue to grow and flourish and I will find someone more worthy.

[mr_hopp]

Hey Sherry! Thanks for your commending! I'm honored and humbled that you're inspired. Truly. You are speaking directly to that eternal conversation that we, the herpes people talk about all the time: when do you disclose? Too early and they haven't had a chance to get to know you as a person (they can't seem to see past that big red H tattooed on your forehead) ... too late and there's a huge level of mistrust and withholding. (This is all discussed at length on

.) I like your "go-with-the-flowness" ... it's quite zen. I know I've seen a lot of people (myself included) take on so much expectation and pressure because of having herpes. When we can take it for what it is and realize that some people will react negatively (mostly because of their own misconceptions) and some people will be totally accepting and have the "no big deal" attitude. Disclosure is half where we are with our own process of healing and acceptance and the other half is in the receiver's head. We have no control over that other half. Thanks for the reminder, Sherry!