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Herpes talk went better than expected.... the second time around :/

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Well, I just finished my initial herpes outbreak. Unfortunately I still have scars I guess since they were blisters around my penis... not something I feel used to seeing whenever I pee. Kind of a reminder of something that I wish was over reminding me how the day may very well happen again :/


But anyway.. 2 days into getting my blisters appearing (me only dealing with my girlfriend and well her having mistakes been made in her time..) I obviously knew I had to ask about it... it didnt go to well.. her breaking down feeling as if she ruined my life, how she hated herself for it happening, how she didnt know how that was possible (since she had always been clean, obviously someone recently she must have dealt with who knows what couldve happened...)


long story short after that episode I initially just wanted to convince her I had just gotten an ingrown hair... I spared her the details of how many I had by saying just 1 or 2... she wouldn't have been able to (and didn't) handle it well.. that situation defused, I of course had to get myself checked. . I went to a free std clinic, confidential, free, and immediate help since I don't have any way of getting a doctor anytime soon and this was a urgent matter.


The doctor somehow made me comfortable enough to where I wasn't immediately worried even as he told me it was clearly herpes and nothing else, gave me acylovir and something else for possible uti (or to kill the bacteria to prevent it or something like that).


now heres the thing... since the std clinic was 100% confidential and only I could get my results (through online or automated phone) I was given a user id and a pin, Had To wait 10 days (today being the 11th day since my blood test). I have been trying since yesterday to get my results... and it keeps saying its not an account... meaning the lady who wrote my account and pin mustve messed up one of the numbers.... this wouldnt be a problem if I could just call and say "hey I came in for a test and my account I was given doesn't work" but they don't have a phone number to reach them. The office is only open monday 8am-5pm (which I have class...) and Friday. .. which I also have class and this Friday as well as work... in a sense im contempt knowing its genital herpes and not oral herpes, hsv1 right? Not hsv2? Thats where I get confused and slightly worried since I don't know what the difference is for hsv2 and 1 whether its just genital and the other is oral..




anyway I kind of went off topic then again I still have questions which ill save for the end.


To finish off the beginning of this post.. Thanks to this site the second time of me having a 1 on 1 talk about me having herpes with my girlfriend I was able to convince her and more so inform her, on how having herpes is no different than a skin condition and isnt a hugeeeeeee deal and wont change my life or ruin it.. I convinced her to get tested but she told me how if she gets positive results how she'd react... not in a good way at all... she only had a few blisters and put something on it as she would with a pimple orw.ee and hers went away fine in 3 days, mine lasting about 10 days :/



But again thanks everyone who was so informative.. giving me the information I needed in order to confront a huge obstacle in my relationship without huge negative effects of having this talk...


Now quick question. My girlfriend and I (assuming she has genital herpes too since we both had an outbreak in that region and not orally) havent had sex since before our OBs. Is oral sex out of the question? Receiving and giving in both my position and her position?


Id rather not in fear of getting or giving her oral from genital herpes.... but in the heat of the moment who knows what happens ;)


So yeah this is my disclosure/general herpes discussion/ questions post... sorry for it being so long

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Well, first of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! So happy you are working together as a couple through this. It shows you have a strong foundation ;)


So - HSV1 can be Oral OR Genital. HSV2 is almost always genital - only 1-2% of all cases or Oral H comes from the H2 virus.


If you have H2, the odds of passing it to each other with oral sex is pretty minimal, but not totally impossible. If it's H1, well, the odds are a bit higher but even so, the odds are in the lower single digits. I would be cautious for about 4-6 months post exposure/first OB date to be safe because that would give you a chance to build the antibodies which would help to keep you from getting it orally as well. AND the odds are one or both of you could well have HSV1 orally already... 80% of the population has it... ;) If you are itching to get oral, use condoms/dental dams for the moment until the 4-6 month period is past.


And why hers was shorter than yours? We'll never know. Immune system differences. Dietary differences. Stress. Age. Hormones. Maybe she's had it longer and not known it? Luck? There really is no answer to that.... ;)


Again - congratulations .... sounds like you will work through this as a couple and come out the other side all the stronger for it :)




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