Feeling pretty guilty

[ralphie81]

It is my turn to come clean and say that yes I have genital herpes.

I have know I have had this since June when my wife was having what we now know as her first outbreak.

I thought I just had an ingrown hair but no it turns out I gave her herpes. This was very devastating to us both. Causing lots of tension in our house .

A couple of years ago I contracted another STD that she did not get thank God but I told her what happened and she forgave me.

Since then I have not had any other sexual interactions with anyone but her. I travel as part of my job and am away from my family so she is on her own taking care of the kids and now her herpes. She is having far worse outbreaks than I do. We have had intercourse on three different occasion and she tells me a couple days later that she had another outbreak and it's in a different spot. Does having intercourse cause outbreaks? She is on antiviral but I am not since my outbreaks are few and not bad. Are there any other couples out there who have weathered this storm? I appreciate any help?

[NeverDanced]

My goodness. I wish I had some advice for you... but I have nothing. This is the exact situation I fear. I'm newly diagnosed and single. Good luck man.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Neverdanced ... quick note about your fear ... your situation is different in that you KNOW you have herpes... @ralphie81 didn't know ... and as I've told you already, the VAST majority of new cases are from people who don't know they have H... so please don't let this be a set-back for you... this is not an apples to apples situation. ;)

 

@ralphie81

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

So I'm guessing when you got the other STD they likely tested you too early, if at all, for Herpes and you were left believing you were ok once the other one was dealt with. Sadly not an unheard of situation at all :(

 

Yes - sex CAN irritate the area and cause another OB ... especially in the early days. Hopefully within 4-6 months it will settle down for her and it will get easier. Try using a LOT of lube and hold off on rough sex for awhile if you can... let her body learn to deal with the virus and start to control it... and she will have time to learn what triggers her OB's in that time as well.

 

You are FAR from alone in this - I have a woman who had H for 30+ years in a monogamous relationship before she had her first OB. Herpes is a slippery devil and it doesn't play by any hard and fast rules :(

 

(((HUGS)))

[ralphie81]

Everything came back normal except for the other STD that I was able to get rid of the other one and nothing else came back positive at that time. I believe stress had to do with my first OB since there was a lot going on at work and at home. I am very lucky to have a woman like her as my wife and couldn't believe this was happening to us. We are moving forward and will get through this together. At least we don't have to give each other the talk since we know what we have.

This site has been very helpful to me in keeping me from wallowing in my own self pity. This is just a setback and a reason for me to live a healthier life. Thanks for all the information you guys put out there.

[ralphie81]

Everything came back normal except for the other STD that I was able to get rid of the other one and nothing else came back positive at that time. I believe stress had to do with my first OB since there was a lot going on at work and at home. I am very lucky to have a woman like her as my wife and couldn't believe this was happening to us. We are moving forward and will get through this together. At least we don't have to give each other the talk since we know what we have.

This site has been very helpful to me in keeping me from wallowing in my own self pity. This is just a setback and a reason for me to live a healthier life. Thanks for all the information you guys put out there.