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Lost on how to move forward with dating after HSV1 diagnosis

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Hello everyone, I am new to this forum. It was just last week that I got diagnosed with oral HSV1. The news didn't hit me right away as my initial knowledge with herpes despite it being an incurable sexually transmitted disease, was that it was just basically a skin rash that isn't life threatening. However, after extensive research online, I am now very confused about this disease and how to deal with it. My doctor informed me that I have been exposed to HSV1, the herpes virus that causes mainly cold sores around the mouth. My doctor specifically pointed out that it is just a virus for cold sores and not genital herpes although a lot of information online states that HSV1 can also cause genital herpes if transmitted down there.


Now I am not that worried about my general health since I am fully aware that this disease isn't life threatening. What I am very much concerned about now is other people around me specifically relationship/sex partners and even my children in the future when I have some. After all that I have read online about herpes, I am now paranoid that I can easily spread/transmit this to anyone I kiss. I have been dating this new guy who isn't my boyfriend yet and things have been going really nice and smooth. We get along pretty well. We haven't gotten intimate yet besides making out and now I am very much scared to move on to the next level with him. I am now even afraid to kiss him. I haven't told him anything about my diagnosis yet and I don't even know if I should or if I should just stop seeing him altogether. I have no idea how he will react. I've read online that 50-80% of the population is actually infected with HSV1 yet the majority isn't aware that they are infected. These are most likely the people who haven't gone to their doctors specifically for STD screenings yet but already had their blood taken for other tests and were afterwards thrown away into labs for research studies purposes. Having this sort of knowledge makes me even more confused about how to set an attitude towards this disease. Should I try to educate my peers about it to lessen the social stigma associated with herpes or should I just close my eyes and pretend I'm ignorant and live in bliss just like the majority of the people who are unaware? I've been so lost...


I wish there is at least a vaccine for everyone that can block the virus transmission for people who are already infected and prevent infection for those who aren't if it's not possible to have a cure for the virus itself.



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thank you for your feedback inka. i actually do not know what to believe in terms of determining which body part of mine is infected with the virus because even though my doctor said it's only hsv1 i am infected with, i've read online that hsv1 can also cause an infection on the genitals. i am asymptomatic so this makes things even more confusing for me. i do not know whether i've contracted hsv1 as a child or from kissing/sex from adulthood as i have never had a cold sore before if my memory serves me right. this is my first time having a blood test for STD's besides the pap smear. im thinking about starting on lysine just to prevent any possible outbreaks if this is in case a recent infection and will most likely avoid oral sex from now on...

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So you got a blood test that says you are HSV1 ... but you don't know where. So the odds are you have it orally ... is there anyone you can ask to see if you ever had an oral cold sore OB???? Perhaps you got it when you were very young (I had my first one around age 4) and someone will remember... you can just say that you know people have had it and not remembered or whatever ... keep it light ... it *may* help you to get a better idea of where it is.


If you don't get that info, then just plain be VERY careful. Your "disclosure" will be different from most. Approach it as an information session. You did your STD test and it came back positive for HSV1... which is *usually* oral ... aka cold sores ... but it *can* be passed to the genitals through oral sex. If your new partner has had cold sores they will have a *reduced* chance of getting it from you as they have anti-bodies. If you have it genitally then it will actually shed LESS than if you have it orally. Tell your future partner that odds are they have kissed at least one (possibly many) people with HSV1 orally. And if they are *really* concerned you can ask for a script for anti-virals (though I am not sure you would need it)


Anti-virals are by script ... if you really, really want to take them I would print out the following from the CDC's site to show the Dr and just say you want to protect your partner and it will help YOU to relax and not worry about them ;)




How do people get genital herpes?


Infections are transmitted through contact with lesions, mucosal surfaces, genital secretions, or oral secretions. HSV-1 and HSV-2 can also be shed from skin that looks normal. In persons with asymptomatic HSV-2 infections, genital HSV shedding occurs on 10% of days, and on most of those days the person has no signs or symptoms. [4] Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission most commonly occurs from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected. [5]


And DO remember, you are now in the MAJORITY of people who have HSV1 ... but the minority in that you actually KNOW you have it ....


One other thing... you may want to talk to the folks at Westover Heights ... it's $5/min for a consult ... but they may have a different perspective on all this and this is their specialty ..

Dr. Lisa Taulbee at the Westover Heights Clinic,http://westoverheights.com/ (503) 226-6678




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