Newly diagnosed and I have some questions

[thisisafakename]

Well, as the title says, I have recently joined the ranks of you who have been positively diagnosed with herpes. I'm about 5 or 6 days into my first outbreak. It is physically unpleasant, of course, but I'm trying my best to follow all the tips and such to make it through. I do have a couple of technical and *spiritual* questions that I really hope someone can guide me with.

 

1) Should I start suppressive therapy right away? I've done a TON of research and I can't seem to get a straight answer. When I said this to my doctor she basically scoffed and said "no! Why take a pill every day if you don't need it? If you have ongoing outbreaks we'll talk about it." The thing is I'm single/dating and though I've decided NOT to take myself out of the dating game altogether, I'd like to be able to assure any future partners that I'm doing everything that needs to be done to decrease their risk. In my mind this means starting suppressive therapy ASAP. Any advice on this?

 

2) I'm a serious fitness freak. I lift and I run marathons. It's a pretty integral part of my life. I'm really scared how this diagnosis is going to affect this part of my life. Just reading the dietary dos and don'ts made me cry. I mean cutting out the nuts and seeds! I'm a buff vegetarian! That's probably 50% of my diet! Can anyone offer any guidance on whether the diagnosis changed their fitness habits, and whether they've had to change their diet significantly?

 

3) On a much more emotional level, I feel like I've done okay. I'm frustrated and hurt and annoyed and scared for the future, for sure, but I'm also realistic. It could be worse. I took risks in my personal life and now I have to deal with the consequences. The thing I keep struggling with, even more than the "will I ever meet someone" or "how will I tell someone" is "how is this going to change my lifestyle?" I understand and accept (sadly and begrudgingly) that my sex life is going to need a major overhaul. No more one night stands and whirlwind romances for me. But what about the other aspects of my social life? I like to go to clubs and dance and party and drink (not always to excess, but in the rare occasion...) and go to music festivals with my friends. Is this over for me? Will I have to relegate that part of my life to the non-H+ past? This really, REALLY scares me and is the thing that makes me want to sit down and cry over this diagnosis.

 

This forum has already been so great, and I hope someone can offer me a little guidance.

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Hello thisisafakename, many people will probably jump on after and provide some additional guidance, but here's my opinion on some of the questions you have...

 

1. I chose not to take antivirals as I want my body to be able to build up the antibodies faster and fight it off on its own. However, if you are experiencing outbreaks regularly, especially at the beginning, it might be a worthwhile move. I think it's a personal choice really, but I am in the category of avoiding meds, when possible. If you become physically intimate with someone or begin dating someone who is H- and accepting of your H+ status, then getting on supressive therapy is a conversation you can have with them at that time. It does reduce the risk of transmission, so it would be helpful if they are fearful.

 

2. I am really into fitness and well-being as well, and although not a vegetarian, i do often rely on nuts and seeds a source of protein. Not all triggers are created equal, so they might not affect you the way they affect others. However, if they do, you can increase your supplementation of lysine to counteract that. Too much exercise might wear your immune system down, so be aware of that. Herpes has not affected my life dramatically in terms of maintaining an active and healthy lifestyle; if anything, i think it helps. However, there will likely be a bit of trial and error before you figure out what works for you.

 

3. Glad that you are dealing with the diagnosis in a realistic and positive way. It's not easy for everyone, but that attitude will certainly help you carry-on with life, sometimes in an even better way than before. Yes, your dating life and whirlwind romances will likely change, and that might just be a positive thing as well. But nothing else has to change. Life doesn't stop with herpes; go out and enjoy every single thing you did before, and do it with an even greater appreciation than before. If herpes can teach us anything, it's that life is so unpredictable and you never know what's around the corner. As you said, things could be way worse, so be grateful that's a manageable skin condition that doesn't limit you from sharing drinks with great friends, dancing your pants off at a music festival or being fully present in some of life's most precious moments. The drinking can affect your immune system again, but you'll learn what's worth it and what's not fairly quickly in response to how your body handles it all. All that said, don't let this limit your ability to enjoy life. Instead, use this as a stepping stone to greater appreciation for all that life has to offer.

 

Check out this post that Dancer pushed up today: http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2211/change-your-words-change-your-world#Item_10

 

There is greatness and beauty in adversity, if we choose to see it and experience it that way. Hope this helps a little; you'll find many more amazing and courageous people on this forum in case you need an ear now and again, so don't be shy to reach out.

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

1) There isn't any one way to do anti-virals. But unless you are planning to have sex on the first date you can go on anti-virals to protect a partner about 10 days before you expect to have sex for the first time (and of course, there's always other ways to be intimate in the meantime :) )

 

2) Well, again there isn't any one definite way to do the dietary stuff ... you might be just fine with eating nuts and seeds. Just make sure your Lysine levels are high enough to balance things out. You can see how the Arginine/lysine levels of foods balances out here:

 

http://www.traditionaloven.com/tutorials/l-lysine_rich_foods.html

 

3) I like to go to clubs and dance and party and drink (not always to excess, but in the rare occasion...) and go to music festivals with my friends. Is this over for me?

 

Sorry but I have to giggle when I read this simply because if everyone who has Herpes had to separate themselves from society, the bar scene would collapse and there would be a whole lot less people out period. You are not a walking, virus shedding Petri Dish :) Of course you can go out and party and drink (just be careful to not get blackout drunk/rooffied so that you wake up in bed with someone and wonder what you did and what you may need to "clean up" ;) ) You can have babies and love them to death with very minimal (ie, common sense) measures to protect them (ie, always washing hands after touching the area where you may have OB's and not sharing a washcloth that you have used to wash down there... yeah... common sense stuff!).

 

Check out this blog I wrote about people's fears about "shedding" and infecting everyone around them :)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/toilets-towels-and-touching-oh-my/

 

I've had this since I was 17. I'm 53 now. I've had a perfectly normal life, and you can too ... as the link @Positive posted says, it's not what happens but how you react to it that matters :)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

[thisisafakename]

Thank you thank you for the positive comments!