He left me..

[hpositive_chiik]

For the past few weeks Ive been very upset because of my situation. So Im just going to say what's been on my mind and hopefully that will ease my pain. I was diagnosed a month ago with herpes simplex 1 on my vagina. I most likely know how I contracted it and who it was from. 2-4 weeks prior to the ob I had sex with him. He did oral on me and concentrated on my clit, sucking too hard as usual... So I knew I had to talk to him. I tried to explain to him that I received HSV1 and he kept complaining he didnt have any symptoms and no girl had told him this. But I knew I got it from him because my ob only occurred where he concentrated sucking too hard on my vagina and I read that wherever the ob occurs is most likely where the person was infected. He didnt believe anything I told him. He then went to a friend of his that was a nurse to ask about it. I dont know how she made it through a program in the first place by saying he should have symptoms if he has herpes. So we try to talk again and he goes on to say his exwife has HSV1 and I just wanted to slap him. Most likely he probably caught it from his wife when they were married. He then keeps going on about not having symptoms and no girl telling him this but then I remembered when we first had sex...he said that herpes is passed around all the time...after we had sex of course. I tried to tell him that and he denied it. He also said he got STD tests and was neg but usually doctors do not conduct herpes tests unless you have symptoms or request it which is horrendous. The last talk we had was when I was busy and couldnt talk much. He invited me over for Thanksgiving. Close to the time he was supposed to come get me, I called and I got a message saying the number had been changed or no longer exists. I guess he thought I was trying to put him in a situation and thats why he changed his number. I know where he lives but if someone like that isnt willing to talk things through, Im not going to disrespect myself by trying to engage him. A part of me does want to so I can get everything off my chest....I was ready to discuss...I had the pamplet to explain to him and everything....I keep trying to tell myself it's okay but it's not. He hurt me so bad. But....I guess I just gotta let it go. Forgive but dont forget.

[WCSDancer2010]

@hpositive_chiik

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

Sorry that you have had this experience with this guy ... but as I think you are starting to understand, Herpes actually makes a great Wingman ... it shows us a person's true colors. In this case, this guy can't face the fact that he most likely passed this on to you ... AND ... that if he found out that you are correct that he has HSV1 orally (just like 80% of the population) that he would have to tell any woman in the future that he would have to be careful with oral sex. Many people would rather stay in the dark than know the truth.... and I don't know about you, but that isn't someone I want in *my* life ;)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 )

 

If you want to get the info to him perhaps you could mail him the Handouts from here? And I would also print out the CDC's paper (link below) with the part that I put here highlighted and underlined, so he gets the point about the possibility of being asymptomatic... then you will know you have done what you can to educate him, and hopefully save someone in the future from the same diagnosis.

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes-detailed.htm

 

How do people get genital herpes?

 

Infections are transmitted through contact with lesions, mucosal surfaces, genital secretions, or oral secretions. HSV-1 and HSV-2 can also be shed from skin that looks normal. In persons with asymptomatic HSV-2 infections, genital HSV shedding occurs on 10% of days, and on most of those days the person has no signs or symptoms. [4] Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission most commonly occurs from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected. [5]

 

Just like any break-up, for any reason, you will need to take time to heal and honor your pain. Do get that this is nothing to do with YOU ... you just got to see this guy's true colors ... and perhaps you will look back some day and thank your "Lucky H" that you saw that before you took the relationship to a level that is much harder to get out of (marriage/kids/buying home/etc). You are now open for a better man to walk into your life who will love you in ways this man never could :)

 

(((HUGS)))