Tough disclosure choice

[ivoryrain]

The guy who I thought I contracted H from was negative (showed me the results, and I obviously look like an asshole now, even though I never outright accused him of giving it to me). That obviously ups the odds that I got it from my rapist. I obviously don't want to contact him and I really don't care to know if he gave it to me (or to know who it was in general), but I worry that if he has it he's infecting others. It's already hard enough on me because I didn't press charges and know he's probably raping other girls, but then the fact that he may be giving H to these poor girls/consensual partners, if he has any, is almost too much. Granted, someone who will rape another person probably doesn't give two shits about spreading H. Maybe he doesn't know he has it and that would stop him from raping other girls because knowingly spreading an STD is another crime here/giving someone an STD is more evidence. Wishful thinking, right? Anyway, I thought I could maybe make a Facebook profile under a pseudonym with no identifiable information and say something along the lines of, "I'm someone you had sex with [avoid saying rape, even though making it sound consensual makes my stomach churn, in case I'm the only person he has raped, thus revealing my identity...god only knows what he'd do then...], but I wish to remain anonymous - I tested positive for H and chlamydia, so you should probably get checked out." Short and sweet and then close the account forever.

 

Is there anyone who has been in the same situation? I'd also appreciate input from anyone in general as well.

[Beachdude1984]

There are services that will send an anonymous email or text message to inform someone that he/she needs to be tested for STDs. I've never used one so I can't give specific info, but I'm sure a google search will be sufficient. May be less trouble than setting up a fake FB account. Good luck.

[WCSDancer2010]

I'm with @Beachdude ... see if you can find one of the anonymous STD testing services to get them to contact him... FB really doesn't take well to people setting up short term accounts and they may well be able to figure out which computer it came from and shut your regular account down....

 

Otherwise, best to move on... sometime we just have to accept that we can't control/change certain things .... and maybe take that energy and use it towards helping to educate people about STD's and safe behaviors for women to help them to avoid being raped .... THAT might bring about a much better result as far as saving women from being harmed by men like him :(

 

 

[seeker]

if you have a number for him you could also get a cheap phone from Walmart and send a message with it. or a burner app off google play. since you know who it is do you know his address? drop a letter in the mail, no return address. I know its old fashioned compared to FB and all the shinies we have today but it still works.

[ivoryrain]

@Beachdude1984

@WCSDancer2010

@seeker

 

I don't have his phone number or address or anything. I know very little about him - just where he goes to college and the like. I only found out his last name when I was going through a mutual friend's Facebook friends list. Perhaps his college has a student directory on its website and I could send an anonymous email.

 

Anyway, I like dancer's idea bout investing the energy in education and prevention. I'm quite active in my college's sexual assault support groups and prevention committees; we rarely talk about contracting STDs from sexual assault, and we should definitely start.

[WCSDancer2010]

Definitely a worthwhile place to put your focus ... and perhaps you can get some sort of side-group going for general STD education as well ... or at least print out the handouts from here and distribute them in your group and at the school's clinics ....

 

(((HUGS)))