Still having good days and bad ones

[Skylightlast]

I first contracted herpes (which is still weird to say or type) when I slept with a guy (with a condom) that I didn't really have strong feelings for. I was depressed over a break up from a long term boyfriend and did a couple of things that were out of character for me (nothing too drastic but drastic enough for me). The guy was nothing like the type of guy I would date, he was a co worker that would constantly hit on me and I missed having a guy I could talk to but at the same time didn't have to worry about whether or not he was being faithful. I did not have many partners during the break up and used protection, there was one time where the condom broke with my co worker and immediately a bunch of fears flooded my mind. Im the type of person that worries ALOT about my sexual health so I don't have many sexual partners, I figured things will be ok because a few of my friends have had way more "man friends" than ive ever had and they are ok. I eventually got back with my boyfriend and thats when I found out, I told him and even avoided having sex with him afterwards, but since we were already having sex before I found out he accepted it. Its hard to say if I had it first or if he did, because was also with someone else (apparently a few time unprotected). I try not to rack my brain over it, but sometimes I just wish I knew. We broke up again, and sometimes I sit wondering, how do you let people that you may want to be in a relationship know? I have to avoid getting close to any man because I want to protect them and myself from the heartache of rejection later on down the line. Sometimes I think i'll be alone, I wonder why me and try to tell myself everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I think about celebs that are said to have herpes and I couldnt imagine being in the limelight that much and dealing with it. I really pray there is a cure in the near future but until then I can only focus more on myself physically, mentally and spiritually.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Skylightlast

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

Im the type of person that worries ALOT about my sexual health so I don't have many sexual partners,

 

Honey - I got it from my FIRST sexual experience and I am FAR from alone in this respect. Many even get it in a monogamous relationship that has been stable for years (including my ex hubby ... I found out what my weird rash was when he was diagnosed with Herpes in our 2nd year of marriage :( )

 

sometimes I sit wondering, how do you let people that you may want to be in a relationship know?

 

Best thing you can do is read all the Success Stories that you can on here... we have tons of people who have found themselves in some of the best, most fulfilling relationships they have ever had BECAUSE herpes has forced them to learn the beauty of being vulnerable .... :)

 

And I tell people all the time that Herpes is a GREAT Wingman ... you will learn who wants to Get Into you and who is interested in getting into YOU. You also learn who you can entrust to be vulnerable with, and who you really don't need in your life. ;)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 )

 

 

[Skylightlast]

Thank you! Also thank you for your response, it makes me feel better knowing there are others I can be open and honest with. Hopefully this will help me stress alot less which is the main reason for my OB.