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New herpes diagnosis, need support

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I am 52 and newly divorced. I began a new relationship, unprotected sex, and when I realized that he was not concerned with STDs because I had been married for 22 years I began to worry. I don't think my ex was faithful and when I had myself tested I was positive for HSV2. I had been tested for the others STDs, all negative, but not HSV2. I told my new guy who was probably not into a long term relationship himself given that he is also newly single. We are awaiting his results but mostly I want him to be negative. I know this will end our relationship and I'm sad given that he is otherwise a wonderful guy. It's so frustrating since I've been rejected by the man who promised to love me forever and now (probably) by a man who doesn't need these complications right now. All I can see is a long, long lonely life staring me in the face. I get tearful in the morning and at night tho when I'm busy during the day things are OK. I have a great life, 2 great kids, I was just thinking I could have a love life too until now.

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Hello and Welcome!


So you tested positive for HSV2 but it sounds like you never had an outbreak? What were the values of the test? Most Drs will tell you you are HSV+ with a result of >1.1 but anything between that and 3.5 has a 40% chance of being a false positive ... so it's worth getting a copy of your results and checking that out. If your numbers are in that range, I would suggest that you get a Western Blot test (I can give you details if you need them) which is a much more accurate test. I always tell people to ALWAYS get a copy of their results for their records of any tests they take... because there is a whole lot of info out there about results that Dr's may not know and it's useful for future reference ;)


Now: IF you do have herpes, its by far and away NOT the end of the world. Take it from a 35 yr veteran :) You have a CHOICE right now to by into the stigma (which is really not deserved) or to take a long look at yourself in the mirror and resolve that you are not going to be defined by a virus that is really a nuisance skin condition in a really inconvenient place (for those who have outbreaks ... 80% of people have no idea they have it).


What I suggest you do is hang here and see where people who have been on here for awhile have progressed. Read all the Success Stories that you can. ... they are golden in that you will see people time and time again coming on here saying they have found a better and DEEPER love BECAUSE of Herpes ... because it causes us to slow down and get to know another better ... and even in casual relationships, the honesty you have to have makes for a better understanding of where you both are before you jump into things :)


Whether you have it or not, you will be fine. I'll add some good links for you to start with. Get educated and informed and read all you can on here and you will see that those of us who have been around awhile are living great lives that are only minimally, if at all, impacted by this pesky virus ;)




Handouts + disclosure e-book:


Herpes facts video
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Well then you will just have to get out of your comfort zone to go out and meet men ;)


One of the best things to do is go on Meetup.com and find groups that do things you like... I'm a member of a lot of hiking groups (GREAT way to meet guys!) but there's an interest group for everyone... including singles.... just find a few you like, then go out and have FUN ... the rest will happen naturally...


Yes - you will need to disclose... but if you read the Success Stories you will see that it can bring people CLOSER so don't fear that ... and right now it's not an issue ... you need to deal with your present situation... but I promise you, if you are "alone forever" it will only be because YOU created things to be that way... Promise :)

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