Confused on who I got HSV 2 from?

[sierrao35]

I was with an ex boyfriend on June 30 2014 and we had sex with a condom & 3 weeks later, I had sex with a friend two different times (July 14 & 16) and on July 21, I was in the worst pain I had ever experienced. It hurt to sit down for long periods of time, I had small sores &bumps & it burned when I peed. So a couple days later I went to the doctor & took a culture test & got my results days later & was diagnosed with HSV 2. I was angry & upset when I first found out. So I couldn't get in touch with my ex to see if he had it but I did tell my friend & he got blood tested since he had no sores & he was tested negative. Even after five months, he still tested negative for a blood test. I Just wanna know out of the two, who could I got it from?

[PositivelyBeautiful]

It's hard to say who you got it from... there are some people on here who carry the virus for years without ever having a full blown outbreak. So while it sounds like your friend was not person who gave it to you due to the negative blood tests, it's hard to say for sure whether it was you ex too. Condoms only offer 50% protection against herpes because it does not cover every part of the lower region, so it is possible. But you could have had this for a long time and just not known. 80% of people of have genital herpes don't know because either their symptoms are so mild or they just don't get any. If you can reach your ex, and you really want to know, definitely ask him. Otherwise, sometimes dwelling on the "who gave this to me" is pointless... does it really matter? You know you have it now, and so now you can do everything to not pass it on to someone else. Part of coming to terms with this sometimes is about just accepting, and letting go to trying to understand the whys and hows... i know that's easier said than done, but I suppose I am just trying to say that you might never know who gave to you with 100% certainty.

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Btw, have you done any blood tests? Sometimes your antibody levels can give you an indication of how long you have had the virus... again, without complete certainty, but still might provide some insight.

[WCSDancer2010]

@PositivelyBeautiful is right ... it could be either guy, and you *could* have been carrying it all that time yourself... but if I was a betting person, I would say it was the second guy. Your friend may just be telling you that because he may fear that you will go and tell everyone ...

 

AND Beautiful is right that it really doesn't matter ... you got it, and just accepting that will be huge in your physical and emotional healing. Whoever gave it to you likely didn't know they had it (80% of people don't know they have it) ... and if they did, well, you don't need them in your life.... better to walk away at this point. Life is far too precious and after 35 yrs with H2, I can tell you that I've been through FAR worse things than Herpes in that time.

 

I know we all want to know the "reason" why things happen. Sometimes there is no answer.... but we can ALWAYS learn from each experience. ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[sierrao35]

@positivelybeautiful They didn't do a blood test on me because they said the culture test was more reliable but Dancer I have done more research on it and as time goes on I have learned to accept it.

[WCSDancer2010]

They are right about the culture ... the only thing would have been that if you wanted to know how long you had it, it would have told you that you had had it for at least 3-4 months if it came up a strong positive ... which some Dr's don't understand will help you to know who might have been your giver... so you know how far back to go to approach past partners.

 

Glad that you are coming to accept it though. Live will go on... and we are here to help you with dealing with outbreaks, dating, and living with Herpes in general.

 

(((HUGS)))

[sierrao35]

Thank you so much for your help & support