How do you deal when you feel like a leper?

[JenPhoenix40]

Been a bad day. Someone who knows about me being H+ decided to try and incite drama. This is the lowest I've felt since diagnosis. What do you tell yourself on the days you're reminded of the general public's view on herpes?

[bird]

I am a bit nervous myself, as I recently disclosed to a potential partner in a somewhat close-knit social community. I have faith he is a good guy and won't blab indiscriminately, but I'm sure he will tell close friends and you know some people just can't help themselves when it comes to gossip. I've been trying to process fears of being "that girl". But I just tell myself that there is so much out of anyone's control that it's just part of life dealing with unfair things like that. Off the top of my head, there are celebrities who get exposed to a much wider audience when prying noses leak out embarrassing personal details. So my best, if not the most winning, suggestion is to just worry about yourself ie, who you are, how you behave and try to ignore it by focusing on your life with our without their opinions.

[WCSDancer2010]

@JenPhoenix40

 

What do you do? You remember that you can't control what others think. If anything this behavior shows you just how much you need to cut anyone who is an asshat out of your life, and you can THANK Herpes for showing you that side of that person.

 

And one thing about the "General Public View" ... My *personal* experience is that people are actually really decent about it .. especially if you own it and you take the stand that you have nothing to be ashamed of, that you are still you and you are not defined by the virus, and you don't allow them to shame you.

 

I'm 100% "out" .. I came out to everyone a couple years ago. I didn't have ONE negative comment from my 1000+ friends on FB. And I think it's because I OWNED it and was not going to ALLOW anyone else's ignorance to define me that kept anyone who might have been uninformed from saying anything ugly or hurtful. So while you don't have to "come out", if you can take that attitude to this situation, likely it will all die down quickly. But if you buy into the stigma yourself, if you allow yourself to "feel like a leper", then what do you expect them to think?

 

Stand up, be proud of who you are. You are not Herpes, you just HAVE Herpes ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6070/it-gets-better great tips for newbies

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2886/herpes-yoga-and-self-love

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6596/6-month-herp-iversary-how-i-survived-embrace-being-single-with-herpes