How to date again?

[Mel2316]

I feel as if I can't go out and meet anyone. I've had people interested in me, but I back away. I'm scared to.. I'm scared to trust anyone. I'm scared of rejection. What are people's thoughts or experiences with this?

[dudereally]

The guy I was with when I was diagnosed told me "goodluck explaining herpes to your next boyfriend and him sticking with you." When we broke up. He didn't give it to me in the sense you'd think. I got it genitally through oral sex so I have have type 1. That was 2 1/2 - 3 years ago when I was 18 years old. I've been with 3 other people since then and haven't had a bad reaction to disclosing. But having this makes you think more on a person and what you want from this person and makes you realize how this person sees and values you... I take a decent amount of time before I disclose. The first guy I told was about 6 months after my diagnosis. He was someone I went to high school with and was in the military and when I told him he said "it's just a thing" and we ended things for a completely different reason. Second guy I was pretty good friends with and we started messing around a little bit... Never had sex before I told him. He wanted me to stay over one night so I prepared myself and told him calmly... Then proceeded to hey the D haha. 3rd guy I've been seeing for almost a year and this is the guy who was my first boyfriend when I was 14 years old. I cried and he wiped my tears away and did his research and felt comfortable with it and we stopped using condoms. He gets tested and is clean. When you disclose you need to know your facts to help explain to someone else... Don't leave them to their own devices because then they scare themselves off without proper knowledge. Know what type you have, know that types transmission rates, know your body and when it feels off or you see something strange don't have sex. Explain that there are a lot worse when it comes to diseases and herpes no matter the type is just a skin condition. It isn't life theeatning. And make sure it's a genuine person you're telling.

[Mel2316]

@dudereally thank you. my story is really embarrassing cause I went off the deep end and slept with someone that I heard later had it. Well... It was true. It has taught me not to be permiscuous. I'm bipolar and me going through a divorce made things so much worse and I was out of control. But maybe this is a good thing to help respect myself more and find a respectable person. I just feel I can't do it. I feel if I do I should get to know them first get the connection and then tell them. I read that some where. My problem now, is to get out there and not stay in depressed. I just want so bad to show interest back instead of backing away. But I learned to that I can see the bad ones as well. I always had a good intuition but didn't care, but now it's different. So I'm trying to build myself up.

[PatAnn]

Mel I look at it that way too. This has forced me to date the right way.