dudereally

If you’re worried about getting oral herpes from your friend who has genital (?) herpes then passing it orally from you genitally to your boyfriend from a kiss I’d say you’re fine. Honestly you’ve probably been exposed to oral herpes more times in your life than you’d think (cold sores, sharing drinks, first kisses with a SO, etc). Generally type 1 (oral) transmits rather easily orally (cold sore on lip gives you cold sore on lip) them type 2 (genital to genital transmission) is easily transportable. When you start mixing sites you’re less likely to contract something. Example type 2 infects mouth even tho it generally infec genital is the least transmitted (still possible but think giving head with no previous history of cold sores to someone with genital type 2 herpes coming down from an outbreak but maybe not symptomatic) and that’s a far reach. As for someone disliking your friendship based on this, is a little outrageous and mean. I’m sorry your boyfriend is like this. Lots of people have consensual kisses with friends and lots even have herpes, like myself. Best bet ask question in a respectful manner and be honest with your boyfriend. You’ll probably be fine.

They will not be like this. There will be someone like this, yes, but overall I’ve found that most people are down for a conversation and are very very understanding and some see it as something simple and easy to deal with. I was diagnosed at 18 and got it from a guy who was an awful all around person. He told me when we broke up “good luck finding someone to stick through herpes.” 6 months later I met a guy MY AGE who was very sweet and I learned as much about herpes as I could and got the courage and told him and cried and all he said was it’s not a big deal. I have a discussion I posted on that. We didn’t end up together but for reasons completely separate from herpes. I’ve told guys I’m good friends with almost completely out of curiosity to their reaction and they’ve been very understanding. I have a normal sex lite and I had to navigate figuring out herpes at a young age and dating. Confidently speak of yourself and don’t tear yourself down when you tell someone. State facts. Be prepared to answer questions they have. Be prepared for someone to leave (but it’s way less often that you think, and if they leave take solace in that person was never going to be right for you anyways) I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I’ve never given it to him and I told him the first night we hung out. I promise things work out :) and I know you don’t feel it now, but sometimes I see herpes as my blessing in disguise. I hope one day you see it for yourself too.

I’m also open to conversation! Just tag me back in this and I’ll give you details.

I’m sorry this happened to her. Her body may have just been run down and immune system low from the procedure. I was diagnosed at 18 from oral sex as well. Let her know it doesn’t AT ALL mean no one will want her. I’ve met some wonderful people who’ve been very accepting. Humans are compassionate, even young ones. It honestly doesn’t change your life like she feels right now. If anything I think it made me a more understanding and less judgmental person. In future relationships be honest and own your story. The right people you’re meant to cross paths with will not leave! She will be okay in time. It can be very hard at first.

I have genital hsv1 and my boyfriend has nothing at all including hiv etc he's had a full screen recently. I'm not on any pills for it bc I wanted my body to naturally learn to suppress it on its own. We've never had problems and we don't use condoms. I'm sure you're fine for a few reasons 1. Type 1 genital is not in its preferred area so it's weaker than what you know as "herpes" and sheds less, and it's actually pretty difficult to transmit especially bc there was no genital to genital contact (even if there were, it usually spreads oral to genital which would be like you have a cold sore and eat her out and she gets genital herpes) 2. There's a good chance you already have type 1 orally. Ever had a cold sore, even as a child? Hayy herpes. If you have type 1 you are already a little more protected bc you have antibodies already 3. If you didn't touch yourself with the same hand st all down there how do you think it spread? You're fine, if you do anything else make sure you use condoms. but they aren't 100% against t bc it is skin to skin.

@kca254 thank you! I actually just quit taking my pills bc I switched after years and it made me feel really gross so I'm hoping that helps. I never realized just how much bc throws everything off until it hit me like a week ago. The one I deal with more is bv :( @Neewbiehsv1g how are you using boric acid? I read it's bad for you orally? And if I insert it can my partner get sick if he goes down on me? How much is tea tree soap? Thanks guys!

Ok so not totally related but it's related to my vagina and my vagina is related to herpes and I like you guys, so here it goes. I started birth control at 17 (now 22) and I remember noticing an off smell at 17-18 and contracted herpes that year and have been consistently dealing with bacterial vaginosis and yeast infections quite frequently since I started birth control. Even before herpes. And I don't have another std (been tested) so guys IM JUST NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY VAGINA. Does anyone have similar issues or tips? I've been on antibiotics a few times (metro something orally) and it hasn't worked for more than my treatment lasted and I'm a little nervous to try some of the treatments that are more like home remedies bc I don't wanna irritate the beast (herpes) lol

I've been trying to casual thing simply bc I don't want a relationship right now and I think that should be ok. But I still annoyingly have to disclose. So I have been pretty quickly into conversations and it's going pretty well. They're always naturally a little nervous and ask questions but this new guy is just so ok without any question and I haven't had sex with him bc it's a little weird am I right? To not blink an eye and be totally down for a girl you hardly know? Any thoughts????

That may sound bad but let me say I don't care. Your girl still needs the D. Anywho, I've been talking to a guy a little over a month now. We hung out once in December then I went to Florida for a week and was working money back up after the trip so didn't see him until last week and then last night. Well he stayed the last two times and naturally there was no sex *eye roll* but this morning I got brave and shared my pretty little story about my cute little sores. He wouldn't take any bait and guess like I've had most guys do to some degree. Had to straight up say it but he was nice about it and I told him it's totally understandable if you don't want to come back. He said he would like to and that he's just a little nervous to "do something" which is pretty natural I think. Sounds like a good start to me :)

okay so i know hsv1 sheds lesss frequently and i have a lower risk of transmitting it but why is it so necessary to disclose type 1? people who have it orally dont disclose before they go down on you or have sex with you which is the way a majority of us get it genitally... oral sex. so why cant i casually have sex with someone and not disclose? if im never going to see this person again and we use condoms why is that so frowned upon? im very unlikely to give it to them. i dont want to make myself so open to a person who im going to see once....

The guy I was with when I was diagnosed told me "goodluck explaining herpes to your next boyfriend and him sticking with you." When we broke up. He didn't give it to me in the sense you'd think. I got it genitally through oral sex so I have have type 1. That was 2 1/2 - 3 years ago when I was 18 years old. I've been with 3 other people since then and haven't had a bad reaction to disclosing. But having this makes you think more on a person and what you want from this person and makes you realize how this person sees and values you... I take a decent amount of time before I disclose. The first guy I told was about 6 months after my diagnosis. He was someone I went to high school with and was in the military and when I told him he said "it's just a thing" and we ended things for a completely different reason. Second guy I was pretty good friends with and we started messing around a little bit... Never had sex before I told him. He wanted me to stay over one night so I prepared myself and told him calmly... Then proceeded to hey the D haha. 3rd guy I've been seeing for almost a year and this is the guy who was my first boyfriend when I was 14 years old. I cried and he wiped my tears away and did his research and felt comfortable with it and we stopped using condoms. He gets tested and is clean. When you disclose you need to know your facts to help explain to someone else... Don't leave them to their own devices because then they scare themselves off without proper knowledge. Know what type you have, know that types transmission rates, know your body and when it feels off or you see something strange don't have sex. Explain that there are a lot worse when it comes to diseases and herpes no matter the type is just a skin condition. It isn't life theeatning. And make sure it's a genuine person you're telling.

I was diagnosed two years ago with hsv1 genitally and haven't had anything that really caught my attention to make me think it was a second outbreak until last night and I'm not entirely sure. I was shaving last night and after I was fine I noticed a big bump with a white head. It was close to the top of the lip (sorry for graphics) and I accidentally popped it when I was trying to get a better look. Some pus came out and I put a little peroxide on it. There was no pain and there still isn't. But the bump is still there. There are not any new spots (knock on wood) so maybe it was a pimple? Or an ingrown hair of some kind? Anyone with experience with this would be greatly appreciated :) also, I've had an odor on and off for a while and was diagnosed with bv, but heard herpes can put off a smell, does anyone have information on that? And if so how could I fix it? Thanks!

@wscdancer2010

Isn't it even less likely since he's a man? But thanks, I appreciate any answers!

How do you know the statistics are only for type 2? Because if that's the case and we weren't to use condoms and cut the chance of transmission by half, he would only have about a 2% chance? And if we used condoms AND/OR I was on surprising therapy the chance is almost non existent?

@2Legit2Quit not on suppressive therapy because I don't get outbreaks and wanted my body to build up a tolerance without medicine... It's been two years on December since it happened and have only had one for sure "outbreak" that was only a couple spots and was gone within days without pain about two weeks after.

Okay so I have genital hsv1 and partner has had oral cold sores... But nothing genitally. We don't want to use condoms but want him to be safe... What are the risks? I don't have frequent OB's and shave very carefully and don't do anything if I see any type of irritation. I read some things that say if he's been exposed and has it orally he's less likely to developr genitally? And since he's a male he has less mucous membranes making it more difficult for him to acquire the virus down there? He doesn't shave his public hair often so is that another way of protection? Condoms also irritate me and I fear the irritation from them might even trigger an OB... They irritated me back before I even had this. Also, anyone know of any partners where one is positive and the other negative for herpes, without it being transmitted through a long term relationship? Some answers would be greatly appreciated :) can't find good statistics or anything anywhere!

It's definitely not easy to go through especially being young I feel makes it a little worse... i seem your thread through someone's comment on mine and I just wanted to send some hope :) she will meet someone and I know that isn't your main concern (your daughter finding love) but when a guy can truly look past it, it does help you feel better. i know how that sounds but the difference between a love interest accepting it and family and friends is a love interest will directly deal with it. Someone who cares and loves you to look past it... Family and friends are great and supportive but they are never in the position to choose what to do. The first guy I disclosed to was 19.... Pretty young and close to your daughters age and he never has done anything to lose my trust in him even after whatever we had ended. Herpes can be a good way to weed out the not so good guys lol... Let her know that. Also how is she going about disclosing? The first thing I do when disclosing is ask if the person has ever had a cold sore... Then I go to "you know that's a herpes infection right?" Then continue from there. I also try to subtly bring things up before I have the talk to see what they'd say.

Okay so I've been part of this site since 2014 when I was diagnosed with HSV1 Genital at 18... And I had a hard time. I had gotten in from oral with a partner that was not a very good person to me afterwards or during or pretty much in general. Told me once, "good luck finding someon to stick with you through herpes" when we broke up. But I'm here with better news and better people these days :) I just wanted to share my success stories. The first one is on one of my older posts called "its just a thing." That relationship ended for other reasons but since then I've had some more really great people in my life. Second, there was a boy I knew in high school (not very well) well we had begun being friends and he got a girlfriend and I was talking to the guy from my first success story. After both of things ended we hung out for the summer and when things started moving forward we had the talk. It was hard but not as hard as the first. I knew more and had a better understanding of the condition for myself and it helped me explain it to him. He trusted me and we used protection and had a GREAT night that night ;) but as things go, we are better as friends but I am thankful for his kindness. The third guy I've disclosed to was by far the hardest because we had history. He was my first boyfriend and first everything from kiss to my first time. He came around a lot on and off for years but then we had spoken for about 2 and a half until recently (about 2-3 weeks ago lol) the first night he hung out in person again we were laying in my bed and we started to kiss and as things continued I felt like I was going to cut because this a person I never wanted to know this about me. I didn't want his image of me to change. When I stopped him all I told him is that we couldn't and he's a smart guy so he understood there was more, then got me talk about it. He said it didn't change the way he thinks about me... And we have been continuing to see each other. I've just been so happy with things in my life and how accepting people really can be that I just wanted to share. I know there's people on here my age and older and younger who feel like no one will accept it but there is... I hope this gave someone a little hope for someon they're worried about telling :)

I wish I could remember :( if they did I wouldn't have noticed because I knew it was nothing. I really never noticed until I met someone I kind of like and now I'm unsure. I want to say it's irritation but I don't want to put anyone at a risk. Are bumps like that common with shaving without herpes? I know that's a little dumb to ask lol but they're like where it grows if you know what I mean. Like on the pubic bone I guess. Thanks for answering these for me :) @Brynn2012

I always look a little irritated after shaving but it usually goes away within a couple hours or couple days at most. I'm not currently active but if I was I should avoid everything at this time? @Brynn2012

I'm not sure if I'm getting recurrent outbreaks or just shaving bumps because I shave often, I haven't got anything that actually forms blisters like my initial outbreak. I get a few red bumps where my pubic hair grows (sorry if that is tmi) and sometimes on my upper inner thighs I get one or two small bumps that look kind of like pimple but nothing has formed into blisters. I'm just not sure if I'm overthinking it since I've got this or if it truly is just irritation. Answers are appreciated :) also I have HSV1 genitally it that helps at all with answers!

So I met up with a guy I knew a few years ago. He's not living around here cause he's currently deployed in the military' but he's on leave for a few weeks. I honestly don't even know where to start. We hung out and ended up staying together at a friends house and staying up all night talking and spent the entire day together the next day. He kissed me and we had made out a few times and he asked me to come over the next day. Things got pretty heated and I definitely was worried because we have definite chemistry. Well the day before we ended up talking about stds and he said something that made him seem like he was more understanding about this kind if thing than most people out age (19-20). So the next day he was telling me that he actually likes me and maybe this is a thing so I asked him what could make him not like me? His response was if I had a meth lab on my basement lol. So then I said what if something is wrong with me and I told him it's something we've kind of talked about it and had him guess. His response was it's just a thing. I like you and it's just a small thing and something so insignificant doesn't phase him. He wanted to know how likely it would be for him to get it and after seeing some things that he has it's just a simple thing. He wants to be careful and go slow but it's not something that has changed his mind. I can't begin to explain how happy this makes me. Just for the simple fact that there are people who aren't going to reject me for that. He asked questions and said he really doesn't know much about it and wants to do a little research of his own. But he hasn't changed towards me and we've been hanging out every day and he's even stayed with me (no sex yet). It's just a good feeling and I want someone to know that it shouldn't matter if you have this. Reading success stories before mine I was convinced that I would never meet a guy (atleast until I'm way older!) who would accept it. It's possible. :)

So I risked shaving and got better results the second time. But now I'm concerned about something else. I've heard that sun light exposure causes outbreaks for people on their mouths, but what about down there? And with mine being hsv1 would that be more likely to cause an outbreak if I was to tan or get a sunburn? Somewhere I read that the sun doesn't break you out genitally but I'd like to know some experiences.

My speed were open still so it should be what showed up on the test. Right?