HSV2 Anomaly!

[glacierdaisy]

Hey all,

I've probably had HSV for 30 years (I'm in my early 40s, so that is way too young). I never knew the occasional tiny bump on my finger or irritation on my vagina (it didn't hurt - I thought the seam of my underwear was rubbing me raw in a spot) was actually the dreaded genital herpes.

In June I broke out with cold sores, a mouth full of sores that were a new form of torture, and I had red spots on my skin (palm, outer thigh, and outer calf) the size of a dime, that didn't hurt, just looked ugly. (Red spots had been showing up on other places for 2+ years, but not blistered or hurt, so I left them alone and didn't worry about them... I am a DOPE!)

 

It happened again the same week of hormones and month in July. Then it added a couple of blisters to those red spots, more red spots (on outer thigh, outer calf, on hand), a spot on my shoulder that turned into a super beautiful blister, a red spot that became a blister on my left index finger, and some anal fissures to the mix. That was SUPER fun. :-(

Oh I forgot to share the eye issue, too. It was June, July and NOW, too! Where you get "sleep" in your eyes? I had pain and eventually scabs. I looked GORGEOUS!! LOL

 

I've been to the ER because my doc didn't like the way I was acting - thinking I was loopy/perhaps having HSV in my brain. BUT I didn't get any help at the ER... Surprise! LOL They told me they had NEVER seen HSV present in the red spots and large blisters like mine.

 

Just 4 days ago I was symptom free. Now I'm a right mess. I'm in too much pain to sleep and not necessarily in the vaginal/anal area. Those areas are the least affected, though my special lady area is tender and irritated. There are no fissures/lesions. Just enough to get some lovely pain at wiping... no blood. In July, my booty bled. OMGosh. Talk about PAIN. . It's my mouth and skin that is the worst. It's frustrating that everything I read says that the primary outbreak tends to be the worst (NOT FOR ME!!!!), HSV1 above the waist, HSV2 below (Again, NOT FOR ME!!!), etc etc.

 

I am a mother of 3. I have an almost 20 year old, a 15 year old, (both girls) and a 7 year old boy who has autism. It's very hard to refrain from the holding and hugging and kisses for my son. The older girls? Ah, they are to an age where they don't want affection from mom, anyway! LOL

 

To be honest, I'm struggling with my family. Not that I have HSV2, but that they don't really they take it as being something to concern themselves with unless it interrupts their lives. I'm either treated like I have the plague and every bump (I have teenagers... ugh) is the "you must have given me herpes!!!!" or my husband vacillates between obsessing over every spot, bump, etc must be herpes that I gave him (it's NOTTTTT) OR he is so horny he doesn't care and is wanting to tempt fate, even when I'm like THIS and breaking out! I tell him absolutely NOT and that he has no idea the pain. Oh, and my oldest daughter is mostly concerned that she might get it and give it to her boyfriend or his family. I wanted to smack her, but I kept my cool. I do my best to remember that I was a self-centered 21 year old, too! LOL

 

I would not wish this crap on anyone. The pain is horrible and the stigma... Just the stigma alone....

 

Almost 19 years of unprotected sex, my husband is negative on HSV1 and HSV2. I am negative on HSV1.

 

I know I've had this (due to the mild symptoms that I never recognized for what they were) when I was a very young teenager. I'm fairly certain where I contracted it, and unfortunately that puts a whole other painful element to this experience. A rapist should not get to affect whether I can hug and hold my son 30 years later! :-(

 

(sorry, I'm crying)

 

Anyway, so that is my crummy story. I will get through this. I remind myself that it is not fatal, it is just another virus, just like shingles. I got through the pain of shingles and felt no shame in the chickenpox or shingles.

 

But this afternoon I'm in a lot of mental and physical pain and I just want to be me again; going to church, going to the grocery store, making dinner, having sex with my husband when I want, and most of all hugging and kissing my kids. I know it will get better... But even with suppression therapy it has broken out again and I'm so scared I'm going to go through this same BS next month. I'm trying to forgive... I'm trying SO VERY HARD!!!

 

But I will get through this. My track record for crappy things is pretty good!! :-)

 

Thanks for reading! :-)

 

GlacierDaisy

 

P.S. Is it too much to ask for my Doc to get me Rx pain meds for me or my hubby, I know narcs have to be a paper script -- she knows him and it's not like he's going to go sell the pills, etc, though I would get my daughter or hubs to drive me if necessary -- instead of ANOTHER in-office appointment? I JUST SAW HER!!! (besides the "magic mouthwash"?)?? I am so sick of going to the doctor week after week after week! In fact I have an appt with my eye doc on Wednesday about the HSV in my eyes, though it is not on the "eye ball" but the lower lid/inner tear duct area. Again, THIS is not typical of occular herpes and I don't find into on the web. That's me... I can't do things the usual way!! LOL

 

Thanks for reading. It's been good to release it!! :-)

 

[hippyherpy]

If you haven't tried Valtrex, give it a shot. Vitamin V

[glacierdaisy]

Thanks! I've been on Valtrex for the episodes, and now I'm on it as suppressive therapy. I don't know if it's not had enough time to work up to a supressive daily dose or if I'm one of the "lucky" ones who it doesn't work for as a suppressive therapy.

 

I'm having a super bad day w/ my family and so I'm struggling. AND my doc's office did not get back to me after they called at 4:40pm and now it's 6:30pm, meaning I'm toast for pain meds. Sigh.