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Feeling helpless ... my friend and I have herpes


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My closest friend, who is like a sister to me, feels that her life is over, or not worth living, because of herpes. We both have it.

 

I can't seem to get through to her that she does have a choice and her life does not have to be all about anger and bitterness (and I understand that reaction, but it makes sense only for so long). My heart is breaking for her.

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2 things jump out to me here:

 

#1. You are such an amazing friend ... to reach out to us with your heart breaking and want to help in the midst of feeling helpless. Of the little I know about you so far, I see you are so giving and heartfelt.

 

#2. Everyone's process is different ... maybe her anger and bitterness is what she needs now in her own process. And from all the cases I've heard about people going through a low time — no matter how long that time lasts — is the thing they appreciated most were those close relationships that stuck with them and continued loving them and offering loving support even during the times where it seemed they couldn't let it in.

 

Sticking with your friend, loving her through this without even hopes of her coming out of it is the most healing and supportive thing you can do. And ironically, that's probably the best way for her to naturally come out of her deep, dark place and back into the light. Keep loving her. No judgment, no shame. Just love. She'll come around.

Notes:

  • My mother is now in hospice with end-stage cancer, so I am at her house a lot these days helping where I can until she passes. Thank you in advance for understanding if I am not as quick to respond as I normally would be. This is a precious and bittersweet time …
  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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