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Is it all in my head?, Herpes ruined my relationship.. now symptoms?

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Hi all,

My girlfriend (or ex now) is positive for HSV2 and I am negative for both oral HSV1 and hsv2. Long story short my fear of catchingthe virus pretty much ruined my relationship. I became reluctant for sex in fear of catching it even though my girlfriend was on antivirals and always used a condom. I got tested every 2 months and was always negative, after My girlfriend left me for lack of intimacy I have had sex with her a few times, now this is why I am worrying. She caught the virus from asymptomatic shesding from a previous partner so I know that even without her having an OB the risk was always there. Recently I had sex with her a few times and the thought of having caught it for literally nothing now as we are no longer together is driving me crazy. I dont know if Im experiencing prodrome symptoms or if my actual anxiety is causing weird sensations. A few days after we had sex i noticed weird tingling sensations everywhere, even at one stage weird 'pain' sensations but not to the extent of actual pain over areas of my pubic region , same with the tingling. Im trying to calm mysef down and attribute it to shaving irritation of the genitals as I have always shaved however I never had an issue with this before (in the past this has happened but I attribute it to my anxiety causing symptoms as I have always stressed this scenario). Im now getting a weird ache pain sometimes in my perinium area. The last time i saw the doctor she said If I have to 'guess' about me having herpes symptoms than it isnt herpes as I would 100% know.


Long story short my main question is exactly that. Is the prodrome stage 100% noticeable followed by clear cut blisters that cant be confused with anything ie I would know and excruciating pain. Also in regards to the virus asymptomatically shedding, is that common or when it is dormant it is just like having sex with someone who is not positive ie no virus on the skin at all.


Im in such a state these last few days and every tingle, itch or ache down there is sending me into a loop of hoping I dont wake up to see horrible ulcers and blisters covering my manhood.


Is the risk of catching it from a partner asymptomatically large - even if they are on antivirals and protection is used??.

Please help



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With your ex on antivirals and you using condoms, your risk of getting it was 1%. Let that sink in for a moment. 1%. Tons of people never get a primary outbreak or any symptoms at all. I had it for 20 years and had no idea. My ex and I were together 16 years and he never got it. Estimates for asymptomatic shedding for HSV2 vary a lot. I've read 5-30% of the time. There's no way to know when that's happening. Herpes isn't always a horrific, painful experience.


I've heard others here say a primary outbreak usually happens within 10 days of exposure. Get an IgG blood test 4 months from now to be sure. And in the meantime, go enjoy life!

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night of day 3.. I now have a dull aching deep pain sensation on the specific left side of my pubic hair region that has just come on.. Im trying to not freak out and am attributing it to a leg session i did at the gym yesterday and maybe its just some groin inflammation but it is in a specific area on one side and its not even in the groin!!. Im freaking out so badly.. Im expecting to wake up in the morning and look down to a horrible sight. If lesions are going to show up are they going to come about on day 4/5 if I have never had any exposure to the virus in my life before?. I guess now it's just a waiting game. Please someone calm my mind I am actually going insane

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Yes most people show symptoms 4 to 5 days post virus exposure and about 90% will do so by day 10. Some people never produce symptoms, though. You do realize your girlfriend is probably safer for you to be with than anyone else you may come in contact with for sex?? She actually knows she has H (most people don't) and is taking all precautions to keep you from contracting H. You have been tested numerous times and been clear. This should tell you how hard it really is to get H from someone who is taking every step to prevent transmission. Much less likely female to male too.

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