my secret - can't disclose i have herpes

[teennibell]

Hello,Its been a LONG time for me,I don't talk to anyone about my H ,unless I have to ! I found out 15 years ago , after I had my son,that I had H, I think I had it for years,I know I could not blame anyone although I wanted too !I felt dirty, shameful ,like the story's here that I have read,I told the partners I had been with,and the partner I had at the time,I cryed I washed my hands over and over again,for years,and still do.

 

I have been by myself for a very Long Time !!! I did go to a dating sight for people with STDS,but everyone was so fare away,I dated a man around 5 years ago,I told him I had H,when things started to get serous,He said he was glad I told him and that we could work it out,we did not stay together long,then the rumors came ,he said I was spreading STDS .and so were my Daughters,( I told my daughters I had Herpes for there future safety ,they were at an appropriate age ) This curshed me and them, I still feel shamed and when ever I think of dating the thought quickly leaves my mind because of bad experiences,So my secret stays with me,I am 50 years old,I have a good life but,would realy like to share it with someone, I have a dear friend I know he wants to be closer to me,But I can't let that happen,He has mentioned STDs and said things where I know that he would judge me,(well I think he would)but I also don't want him to think hes unwanted. and on my part I don't want my personal problem out there, any advice ?

[mr_hopp]

Teennibell, from how you say it, it sounds like this guy is a quality catch! (Totally kidding.) Hey, don't let this guy's reaction be representative of how you assume other guys will react. His reaction says a whole lot more about him than it does about you. Disclosing herpes is a vulnerable thing, and people will react how they will react. But how others react doesn't change who we know ourselves to be: honest, following our integrity and self-accepting.