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Just diagnosed, overwhelmed, scared and feeling alone...

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I'm a 42 yo only parent (husband died 2.5 years ago) to a 4 year old little girl. Have been in a 4 month relationship (first since my husband) and just found out in Saturday that I have GH. Still waiting for test confirmation but doctor said he's pretty positive that it is. Started me on Valtex right away. I also walked away with a UTI and bacterial infection. I'm in some very intense pain, especially when I urinate. I cry all the time, feel disgusted with myself, overwhelmed with fear and emotions and am feeling so alone even though my BF is very supportive. He has had no signs or symptoms of the disease but, I know that doesn't mean anything. The doctor also said that I could've gotten it long ago and it's remained dormant until now. I take Humira for Psoriatic Arthritis which lowers your immune system. He seems to feel this could have been a contributing factor of this OB. I just can't get past all the terrible thoughts. How am I going to get past this? I can't concentrate on anything. I'm paranoid of unintentionally somehow infecting my daughter. I feel like such an awful person for being so careless. Where do I go from here?...

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Welcome, @Tmhs75. You can rest easy about spreading HSV to your daughter because it requires skin-to-skin genital contact or oral sex to trasmit the virus from one person to another. Also, the virus only lives for a few seconds outside of the body.


One of my favorite resources is this short handbook (I also love the author's full book): https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/


The things that are helping me to get past my own diagnosis (18 months ago) are taking good care of my physical and mental health, talking to people about HSV (in my case, a therapist, two close friends and mostly this forum), and taking it one day at a time. It's okay to be sad and angry and disappointed too....we just don't want you to live there forever :) There is no reason in the world you can't go on to live a wonderful, happy life!

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Thank you so much HikingGirl! I actually ended up telling my parents and one brother. They are all very supportive and are committed to learning more. The process of just telling them made me feel so much better! I'm coming out of my haze a little, trying to deal with this first OB and am going to try and live a healthier life. I truly appreciate your help, comfort and guidance!

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