Privacy after disclosure

[tanto]

Just wondering if anyone had an ex or anyone share with others after you told them you have herpes. I know I shouldn't care but I do so being afraid of what others will think of me is keeping me from wanting to tell anyone. Thanks.

[HikingGirl]

I think this is a common fear that most of us have felt at one time or another. In response to a question about when the right time to disclose is, I once heard @Adrial suggest asking yourself, “Do I trust this person with my vulnerability?”

 

I always loved that answer, and think it applies every bit as much to family and friends as it does to potential partners.

 

I’ve told just three people (outside of medical professionals and my therapist): a friend and a lover whom I absolutely trusted with my vulnerability, plus my ex-husband. I can’t say I trust my ex with my vulnerability, but since I had a feeling I probably acquired HSV before our 15 year marriage and we had only been divorced a year, I felt morally obligated to tell him. That was over a year ago, and if he has told anyone, it hasn’t come back to me. (Btw, he tested negative.)

 

I will also add that it’s been my experience that the more I come to fully accept myself with HSV, the less I give a shit about what anyone else thinks. :) {{{hugs}}}

[tanto]

I am hoping I get to not giving a shit. I really don't want to end up alone just because I have HSV & am afraid to tell anyone. Thank you for your advice