Need to tell the guy I’ve been dating - please help

[Cali_123]

Ok, so i just learned this week that I have GHSV-1. I’m honestly not sure if this was an initial infection or something I’ve had for a while. I have a doctor appointment when I get home from vacation (side note.. what shitty luck! Finding out on the first day of vacation!!!) I’m going to ask for blood testing to show level of antibodies which may help to inform me. My ex, who I dated exclusively for nearly 6 years, told me near the beginning of our relationship that he’d had a cold sore once when he was younger but had no other problems. But again, not sure if it came from him either.

 

Anyway, I know that I have to tell the guy that I just started dating. And we only had sex 3 times in one night/day. With a condom each time. I really need help setting up the discussion. I’ll be calling him maybe tonight to have the talk. I’m a nervous wreck.

[RegularGuy]

Well, if you waited until after having sex to be honest, there will be some amount of hurt feelings. You should get yourself in a good state of mind to be patient, understanding, and supportive. He will probably need it.

Something very honest like, "I should have told you sooner, but I have genital herpes. I know that you are not happy about my timing, and I'm sorry."

Is one option.

However you disclose, just be sure to do it soon.

You have to understand that he deserves the right to choose for himself how his life goes.

 

Good luck. It won't be easy, but it is the right thing to do.

[Cali_123]

Thank you. My situation is a little different. I didn’t find out about my status until I went to the doctor for some irritation AFTER we first had sex. The doc said that it didn’t really look like classic Herpes and I shouldn’t worry. But, the results were positive for ghsv-1. I would have disclosed if I had known before going down that road.

[RunningGirl]

I just did the same thing this morning over text. I sent a text saying I need to tell him something confidential. I said I got some lab results and was shocked. Have you ever had a cold sore? Well it’s a kind of HSV and I tested positive for HSV. 85% of people who have it don’t know until they get tested. Chances are you don’t have it. However, I owe it to you to tell you. I don’t know where I got it or how long I’ve had it. I’ve only been with a handful of people, all of whom claimed to be clean.

Guess what? He understood and said his brother has genital H. As long as I get on Baltrex he still wants to see me. So please be upfront and honest quickly. It will be appreciated.