have to get this off my chest

[Zen1]

I had the worst paranoia about contracting hsv2. I even got tested three times in a year because I would freak out over the smallest shaving mishap. Each time came back negative. Turns out 4th time is the charm. I recently tested positive for hsv2. I contracted the virus a year after separating from my husband of ten years. I was just learning about myself in so many ways. I'm now 34 and hsv2 positive. Its almost surreal that this has happened. I'm learning how to hush that voice telling me that I'm damaged goods. This isn't who I am. I know in the end, it is what it is, and I'm sure I'll find someone who will love and accept me. I'm so angry at myself. I could have been smarter about things. I asked my boyfriend questions about his sexual history but why didn't I push for testing before having unprotected sex. Growing that self love and acceptance. I'll stay optimistic because I have faith that everything will be fine.

 

 

[RegularGuy]

Your outlook is definitely strong!

I know you are probably feeling a lot of similar things that I have / am. Probably more different things as well. Your determination and resolve will serve you well! It is the biggest factor recovering from the shock of finding out.

Makes plans to do something special for yourself soon, maybe something you had been putting off because it didn't seem worth it, despite not being too rediculous. For example, I made plans to go to a concert, and get some really good seats so I wouldn't get tired of the rowdy crowd and leave early.

Having something you really look forward to doing helps to keep your mindset on positive things.

You are going to keep being the great person you are! While the thoughts and feeling you are experiencing may be difficult to deal with, try not to get down by dwelling on how and why.

Focusing on the future is always worth while, and know that your diagnosis seriously will not stop you from chasing your dreams and knocking out goals!

[Zen1]

Thanks for your support!

[secondchances]

@zen1 I can completely relate. I was married for over 20 years and have had a couple boyfriends since my divorce. I recently found out I have HSV2 after my ‘then’ boyfriend tested positive. I am currently single and dating and have a new perspective on life. I met a nice guy who I dated and after couple of dates he wanted to have sex. I disclosed and he seemed unaffected by the news until a couple days later when I noticed he was communicating less and less with me. Thats okay. He has a right to determine what is best for him. So do I. I constantly remind myself that I am more than this virus. I am a good person and worthy of a loving relationship. So are YOU. You are not damaged goods. In the big scheme of things, having herpes is small when you consider all the possible health issues, diseases, etc that people are struggling with. The right person will be willing to accept you the way you are. Yes, will be more careful about who I date and how long I date them before having the conversation. This condition has opened my eyes to be more cautious and thoughtful about who I choose to date. I want to be honest and not hide the truth from any future man I have a relationship with. Dont beat yourself up. We all go in hoping that what were being told is true. Like the data shows, most people dont know they have herpes bc they dont present any symptoms and most providers dont test for it. Stay true to yourself and know you can have a wonderful relationship.

 

[RegularGuy]

@secondchances

Wow! Reading your post was incredibly inspiring, even though my situation is very different. You hit the nail on the head!

[OverTheRainbow]

I feel the same. I've also been tested multiple times and was never aware HSV wasn't on the menu! I'm angry at doctors for not advising of this and angry at myself for not asking! I was under the impression I was all clear and advised my partners of such - as did they. Seems there's a serious lack of information/education out there and we are the ones who have suffered. I'm late 40's and it's already impossible to find a nice man, now this... Yep I'm feeling pretty negative but it's only been two days and I'm hoping I can forgive myself and everyone else. I think you'll get there too! You are certainly not alone x

[secondchances]

@regularguy Thanks. Its taken a while to get to this mental space. I have my days when I wish the condition wasnt correct, but then I remind myself that its a skin virus and people are more open-minded than in years past. I hate the stigma though.