Children

[Girlygirl2528]

Hello, I am new here. I am a married mother of two. I have found out I have ghsv 1. I have always suffered with vaginal issues and now I know why. I can't get over it and am so sad on a daily basis. My husband is negative and I can't even have sex with out being worried all the time. I have a 4 year old who I love more than this world. I had no idea I had the virus and now I am scared I have given it to her. I swear every time I use the restroom she needs to go as well she has poor wiping skills so I wipe her. The other day she told me her bottom hurt and it was red and inflamed inside took her to urgent care and they said it was irritation. The next day she started to have a discharge that was yellow. He pain when urination had gotten better by the next day but the discharge continued. Two days later I noticed a red pimple looking bump outside of her vagina it looked to have a head on it and she said it was itchy. I let her soak in a warm tub and by the next day it had gone down and two days later it was gone as well as the discharge. I have been sick with worry. I am scared I have passed this to her by putting destin on her and not washing my hands not even thinking about it. I don't know what to do. I am so worried. She has had contestant issue vaginal for as long as I can remember and I am terrified this is the cause. Thank you

[Girlygirl2528]

She was also on bacteim for a uti or bladder infection just in case. I just don't know where to turn or what to do. I have never felt so sick or scared in my life how do I forgive myself.

[Dumfounded]

Breath mama. You did not pass this to your kiddo. Direct skin to skin contact with the infected area is needed to transmit it. Which is why many parents with oral cold sores give it to there kids through kisses. I understand your concern though. I am also a married mother of two and I know the fear of inadvertently passing this to kiddos. I just had my first outbreak and I've been in a 15 year monogamous relationship with neither one of us ever having any symptoms of HSV. I was dumbfounded (hence my name). I worried myself sick that I might transmit this to one of my kids but everything I've read has reassured me I can't pass genital HSV to them.

 

If your daughter is having vaginal discharge it's probably not a bad idea to see a doctor. Could be yeast. Especially if she was on antibiotics.

 

How do you know you have genital HSV1? Did you have a genital lesion that was swabbed and tested? Was it a blood test? Both?

[Dumfounded]

Don't worry too much about passing this to your husband. Many discordant couples (where one has it and one doesn't) go a lifetime without passing it. And even if you do it's not a big deal. Most who get it have no idea. Others get one outbreak and never again (like chicken pox), and some have recurrent outbreaks but they progressively become more and more mild.

 

In my situation we have reason to suspect my husband is an asymptomatic carrier and that's how I got it. To be honest we didn't bother doing any kind of confirmatory testing because neither of us really care who has it or who doesn't. We figure we most likely both have it and if not we both will soon enough. So for us, it's business as usual.

 

I freaked when I first noticed an outbreak. I thought my husband cheated (he didn't), I thought I failed my children (I didn't), I didn't think I could possibly be a role model for my kids (I can). I cried a lot in the arms of my husband and wondered how I was going to carry on. I couldn't eat or sleep. I was a mess! It's been less than a month and I don't care so much anymore. I've since learned a lot about HSV and I'm not stressing over it anymore. I think you'll get there too. The best advice is to learn about HSV and soon you'll realize it's not a big deal.

[Girlygirl2528]

Thank you for responding I was sure no one was going to touch this post. I'm going to lay it out to you are you ready lol. I soiled some wild oats when I was younger! After one event I went to po and was tested I was good, never knew they didn't test for hsv. Well I would always have irritation or itchy discharge weird stuff. I would go to the doctor and they would glance and say Year or irritation and give me meds and eventually it would be gone. When I was Pregnant I would have issues the whole time yeast bacteria irritation ya know! After having them I would be in more pain than actually giving birth burning when I peed I would have to hold on to the towel bar to pee. I was young and thought it was normal! Well now I'm 32 and it has been worse. I went and got tested and was all good besides hsv 1. Never remembered having a cold soar. I have gone to 4 doctors and they see irritation and would refuse to swab. I have researched and you can have it with no soars everyone's body of different. My last doctor agrees with me. I take 500 valtrex a day and still feel like I have issues. Now to my children. They both are sensitive down there always have been. Thinking I won't lie there are times I use the restroom and don't wash my hands if I am in a hurry or a child is screaming , this is before I knew what I know now. I have read a lot on conflicting information on transmission with hands. I've read some women have passed it to their children when putting diaper rash cream on them and that's my fear. All of her symptoms have cleared up now. That's why I am so scared. If it was something other than ghsv 1 I would think she would have needed treatment. It went away on its own. I am so lost because if I call her doctor I don't want them one to think I am crazy or that she is being harmed in anyway. I would destroy someone who ever harmed my children! I mean the pain of urination only lasted that night and she was fine the next day! Then a week later the red pimple bump that itched for a second and then she forgot about it and it went down after a warm soak in the tub! I'm so confused and terrified if I have ruined her young life before it's even begun on accident. Thank you for responding I have been going crazy!

[Dumfounded]

Even if by some freak chance she caught this from you, you did not ruin her life! I've read posts too, where parents swear they passed it to their kids accidentally. Honestly, I don't know what to make of that. Kids get rashes in the genital area all the time, I would think (especially when a parent has HSV and is hyper concerned about it) that a diaper rash, pimple, or contact dermatitis would scream herpes at the parent. Every credible source I've read, however, reassures me that direct skin to skin contact is needed with the infected sight. Other than in the unlikely, but still possible, situation of auto-inoculation during a primary outbreak. This one actually worries me because if one can auto-inoculate I would think one could pass it the same way to someone else. During my primary outbreak herpes was not even on my radar and so I continued to share towels and such. And, like you, I don't always manage to wash hands after peeing when kids are screaming, glass is breaking, house alarm sets off, dog barking, phone ringing, etc. Mom life lol.

 

Anyway, I will leave you with this article: http://www.herpes.org.nz/patient-info/parenting-herpes/

[Girlygirl2528]

I can't thank you enough for responding, I try and tell myself in 12 years let's hope they have better meds to control this virus if by some crazy chance I did give this to her. It's upsetting because we spend their whole young life trying to protect them and the thought of being their source of pain in devastating. I am praying this is all just a fluke and I am wrong. I am now more cautious and wash my hands every restroom break. Thank you for responding to me, I really needed someone to talk to. Thank you for the article I have read that as well. It set me at ease until I read another that said a mom gave it to her kid via butt cream! I paid 25 bucks on the ASHA sight to tell my story and have one of three doctors respond. They specialize in STI'S and transmission and have been doing over 30 years. I am hoping to hear from one of them soon! Thank you again I appreciate it

[Dumfounded]

@girlygirl2528, I really don't think you gave this to your child although I so 100% understand your concerns. As a mother that was my biggest freak out other than thinking my husband cheated. Please please share the response you get. Also I searched their site for you and found this.

 

 

https://westoverheights.com/forum/question/confused-and-scared/

[Girlygirl2528]

I will share the whole thread once I receive a answer. I really hope your right and I didn't. It would kill me! If you want to look before I share it's on the ask the express mine said transmission by hands. They have no answered it I asked it yesterday so they should respond in 48 hours or less.

[Dumfounded]

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if your HSV1 infection was oral and your vaginal problems were one of the many things that irritated vaginas since you've never had any lesions. Yeast, BV, hormones, birth control...

[Girlygirl2528]

I think maybe I have had just lesions inside my lips but never any bumps. But I've had nothing painful besides I get cuts in my perinum which I heard could be H. But every symptom I've had when I thought that's what is was my daughter has as well. She has never had discharge before and she said it felt like there was a stick poking her inside when the irritation started. I gave her a shower that day and normally didn't use soap that did I did not thinking and was in a hurry she was fine. We went to the store and then came home and a few hours later is when it started. The next day she said it didn't hurt anymore, I had taken her to urgent care because I am a mom and freak over everything! She said irritation but she didn't get up close I thought I saw a bump but I don't ever look inside her so I don't know what's normal or not then New Years even is when the red like pimple bump appeared she said it itched she scratched it and it didn't bother her after that. Once the bump was gone the discharge was gone and she has been fine well now she has thrush. I've read that when some had a outbreak for the first time they got oral thrush as well. Everything is pointing to me being correct.

[Dumfounded]

Hm, I've never heard of thrush and herpes being related. Also it seems like a primary out break on a child would last longer and be more painful but who knows. Wasn't she just on antibiotics? That can lead to both genital and oral thrush. A UTI or yeast can certainly cause pain and discomfort. At the end of the day though, You're her mom and know her best. You're doing a good job exploring this further. If she did have HSV it's important to get an appropriate diagnosis and if she didn't it's important to put your mind to rest and figure out why her discomfort. You are doing a great job trusting yourself and investigating this!

[Girlygirl2528]

I know I am so scared tho. I read one story and the child was taken away by cps. In the US if a child is diagnosed with ghsv cps is always called. I mean they will be able to tell she has no trams and the amount of times I have taken her to the doctor for vaginal irritation, but I am so scared. I'm waiting for my response and then Monday I'm going to call and make a appointment and talk with her doctor. That's all I can do. I would never wish any of this on someone. I feel like I being punished. I take such good care of my family and now I feel like my whole world is falling in. Thank you for your time and speaking with me.

[Dumfounded]

I really think you'll be okay. I just don't think it sounds like HSV and to be honest even your symptoms aren't definitively HSV. Again, I wouldn't be surprised if your HSV1 diagnosis was actually oral and your vaginal symptoms are something else. I know sometimes the lesions can be inside the vagina or that small tears can occur but unless you've had a swab and culture, or even better PCR, confirming the presence of the virus in your genitals it is just speculation. Particularly in your situation where the symptoms are atypical. Yeast can cause tears as well and itching and swelling and red bumps and all the symptoms you and your daughter have had. And now considering your daughter has thrush it's clear she's affected by yeast. Have you Google imaged pictures of yeast?

 

I suspect that when you get your answers from ASHA you'll be better reassured. From one mother to another huge huge hugs! I am so so so sorry you are going through this. As a mother who has also stressed about passing this to my kids I know the fear and devastation you must be consumed in. I am so sorry for your stress but I honestly think this will all work out in your favor and life will return to normal.

 

Please keep me posted. I also wish someone, with more experience would chime in here.

 

 

 

[Girlygirl2528]

You are a kind kind woman and thank you. I think people are afraid of this post I get it. I really hope I am wrong and this was just some crazy fluke. I mean I would think she would be in pain if she had a outbreak for more than a day, I mean she is 4 and her lady parts are small. I was hoping to get a answer today but still no response. It's so crazy that who would ever hunk it could be transmitted like that I mean we all scratch not thinking. I mean my husband scratches or rearranges lol, and you don't think about it. I pray to god that this it's just a bad moment in time and someday I will learn and forget about it. I'm a freak now I make sure I wash all the time now. Let's hope I get a answer soon, the wait is killing me.

[Girlygirl2528]

I don't think ASHA is going to respond, it's been over 24 hours and they have said nothing. Sadly

[Glittereyes22]

Hi girlygirl2528. Unfortunately, I don't have any answers for you but just know that you are a great mom for making sure that your daughter is ok! I have 3 daughters & just recently was diagnosed and feel the same way. I've been paranoid that I might have exposed my daughters in some way without knowing! Just know you're not alone in freaking out & freaking out means you're a good parent cuz that's our job to make sure they're ok.. we will be freaking out about so many more things unfortunately because that's wha good parents do. lol

[Dumfounded]

For sure I would think if she had an outbreak bad enough to have symptoms she would have been in pain for longer. Considering that all credible resources I've read say transmission is not going to happen that way, coupled with symptoms that are rather atypical I just don't think you need to worry. What does your husband think about all this? And yes, we all scratch, rearrange, etc. If we could transmit it that easy every one would have genital herpes.

[Girlygirl2528]

Right! I'm going to relax and stay calm, go back to being a smiling happy mom and figure things out as they come! You ladies are wonderful thank you for helping me in my time of need. I will keep you all updated and am happy I found this group! I think I'll stick around and hopefully try to help others as you have helped me. My husband he doesn't know what to say. I explained everything and he said god forbid your right which he dose not think I am at all we will work through it as a family. He is a wonderful husband and father. He's the fun parent I'm the bad guy hahah. My children are happy and healthy and I need to remind myself of that!

[Dumfounded]

It sounds like your kiddos are lucky to have such loving and caring parents. When I had my first outbreak I was a mess. Who knew it could show up after 15 monogamous years!?! I was crying, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I was freaking out about passing it to my kids. It was shitty. My husband on the other hand wasn't phased. He's my rock. He kept saying, "I don't know why it's not bugging me, I just don't think it's that big of a deal." All while he held me tight as I cried. Since then I've researched it constantly and don't care so much anymore either. It's really not a big deal and you see that among some of the veterans who have had it for a long time. They aren't bothered by it at all. We'll get there! I'm already way less worried than I was. Although I am watching the clock wondering when/if the next outbreak will arrive. I check my vulva almost daily for anything, and I'm probably washing my hands way more than I need to. But hey, it's a process. This site has been a lifesaver!!!!!

[Girlygirl2528]

My husband says we are together forever so what does it matter. He gets annoyed with my constant worry. I'm lucky I have great kiddos! My youngest and I are two peas in a pod. My oldest is almost 10 and she is so awesom! Did you have lesions everywhere? I fee like I have looked inside myself with a mirror and have seen red spots. I also have times where I feel like my vaginal lip feels swollen. I'll feel around down there while I soak in the tub but I e never felt any pain ever.

[Girlygirl2528]

Well she just woke up to pee and said her bottom (vagina) hurt I washed my hands and looked and saw nothing this is still a mark on her from where that pimple or whatever was tho. I'm back to freaking out. I'm loosing my mind.

[Dumfounded]

No, I did not have lesions everywhere. I had one small pea sized lesion on my left labia majora and another thumb print sized lesion on my lower right butt cheek (where the sits bone is). It really wasn't too painful. To be honest, this might be TMI for a public forum but hey it's a herpes forum so here goes, I have a hemorrhoid (thank you natural childbirth) that causes more discomfort than my outbreak.