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I told my partner at the beggining of the relationship i have hsv 2 he knew got it and now hates me

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Hey guys im feeling so many emotions right now. Iam beyond sad . I started dating this guy and two weeks after knowing each other i disclosed that i have hsv 1& 2 . He was very supportive at first. Then here and there he would break up w me bc of it. Sometimes i would look for him , sometimes he did. Throughout must of the time we were together we used a condom. Recently he went to the doctor due to some blisters in his genitals. The doctor confirmed it was herpes. The thing is that now he doesnt want nothing to do with me eventhough he says hes mad at himself not me,he is mad at me. He blocked me from social media and phone. He told me he wanted to forget this chapter of his life and that he was an idiot for staying w me this long and having herpes for the rest of his life. Iam beyond broken i feel terrible that now he got it! And hates me to death. He said that looking at my pictures reminds him of how unable he is to make a decision. I dont know what to do im feeling helpless. :// i wanted to be there fo him through this time but he wants nothing to do with me. I told him i understood he was upset and that i would give him space and he told me no,that he wants me out of his life for ever. . :///Has any of you experience this? I dont know what to do or feel ? Or how to handle this whole situation. Right now im going through alot dont have a job at the moment and feel so crushed

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My guess is he's angry at the stigma, not you, but you are the target of that anger. Or if he had a particularly painful primary outbreak, his current emotional state might be influenced by that. Consider that statistics indicate roughly 1/4-3/4 of the women he dates will have HSV2, depending on demographic. You alone could not protect him from HSV2, you could only share your known status. Actively avoiding HSV2 requires taking steps such as partner testing. He may not realize this. But like many of us, he probably grew up exposed to the stigma and has suddenly found himself on the other side of that which can be disorienting and jarring. If the physical component is also an issue, hopefully he will see marked improvement over time, as most people do.


I'm sorry you're experiencing this. You did your part in disclosing. I would guess he would not have wanted you to push him away due to your HSV2 back at the beginning. The other side of that coin is that he was aware of the risk of HSV2 (which is more insight than most people have into their own status or their partners' status) and he chose to proceed. Having said all that, I would give him the space he has requested as you are likely not the person to best support him through this time, and it doesn't sound healthy for you either.

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