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ineedadvice

I don't know what to do

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I had my first initial outbreak about 2 weeks ago, the day after I finished my antiviral medication (literally 3 days ago) I got a recurring breakout due to stress. I am 21 years old and still in university. I am terrified because the one time I decided that I wanted to just have fun and fool around with a couple of guys...and bam, karma bites me back in the ass. I had a break down yesterday because my doctor said my symptoms were so acute and mild that I would not potentially have a break out for a while... Oh boy was he wrong. I know that doctors can't predict the future but I really needed that reassurance. Luckily, he gave me an extra prescrition of Valtrex and that has helped me. I just feel so sad and alone, I dont know who to talk to or what or to do, I am suppoed to go on holiday with my groups of friends next week and I am so scared that im going to have a break out during the trip because I know I'll be drinking a lot. I dont want to have another outbreak while im there, should I do surpressive therapy if had an OB striaght after my first?

 

I am so lost about H, I don't know why people dont talk about it more because its so common. The thought of sex scares me so much now and I hate this about myself. What if I never find a guy who would accept me? How do I tell someone that I have H? What if they look at me like im dirty?

 

I really just need some advice and some kind words, please help me.

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If you're having back to back out breaks you'll probably benefit from suppressive therapy. Either way your immune system will probably figure it out sooner or later and keep your HSV at bay. Please don't hate this about yourself. There are 8 herpes viruses and just about everyone in the population has a couple. HSV in particular is a common one. The majority of people have HSV 1 or 2. Most people who have it have no noticeable symptoms. It really is an innocuous virus.

 

The only reason you feel dirty is because our culture associates herpes with sex and sex with being unclean. Think about cold sores. No one with cold sores is thought of as dirty. But you take that same virus and relocate it to the genitals and everyone gets their puritanical panties in a bunch. Why? Because we get all weird about sex and think it's icky. Considering that the majority of folks have this virus the only sure way to protect yourself would be abstinence. I think most can agree with me that sex is worth the risk, which is why just about the entire human population takes the risk.

 

You will find a guy who accepts you! There are so many reasons why someone won't except you, too short, too tall, too loud, too shy, too outgoing, too risky, too reserved, herpes... And the list goes on. Someone will come along who accepts you and all your imperfections. With experience I think you'll see the role HSV plays will not be a leading one, or even supporting actor. Maybe an extra at most. Or a background prop.

 

There are lots of suggestions about disclosing on this forum, so I'll let someone with more experience take the lead. I'm married and didn't get this until 15 years into a monogamous relationship so I don't have any experience disclosing, but from reading this forum it sounds like rejection because of HSV is rare.

 

Take care!

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