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Disclosing right away, or waiting. Which is better?

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I have started dating this guy, and its just been a week. But so far I have never felt so strongly about someone so soon, and he has shared the same feelings for me too. I know I barely know him yet, but so far he has proved himself to be such a gentleman. We have talked on the phone for hours, text all day and video chat (he lives an hour and a half away). He made a comment though one time when we were talking. He was talking about some girls profiles online, how they appear to be 'slutty' or whatever..(he didnt use that word), but along those lines. Anyways he said something like 'no, just stay home, you're going to get an std'. I get that people who don't know much about H sort of thing that its only promiscuous people that have it. I admit I kind of had the same views before I found out I contracted it from an ex. But when he said that it made me worry that he won't accept me because of it.

He took me out on our first date last night and it was so amazing. I truly think he could be 'the one'. But I need to disclosed. He invited me up to spend this weekend with him, and so I'm going to go. I don't know if sex will come up, but I imagine its a possibility since I"m staying the night. A friend of mine is telling me to wait to tell him. Part of me wants to wait on telling him and trying to hold off on sex for a while so he can get to know me better, but part of me wants to just be upfront with him so if he can't accept it, than I won't be completely heart broken.

Do you think there's any difference in outcome if you wait to tell someone, or are honest and upfront right away? I feel like he may respect me more for telling him sooner rather than later.

He has expressed how much he likes me, and is quite vocal about it, so I may not have anything to worry about if he likes me as much as he says he does.

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You are investing a lot of brain power into this guy.

Is he worth the trouble?

Are you going to feel like your time and energy were well spent, even if things don't work out in the long run?


A "No" to either of these questions should be taken seriously. Especially the second thing.

It's easy to invest a whole lot of hope and expectations into a single person, but everyone always turns out to be human once you really get to know them.

The only recommendations I can give are that you're just going to have to disclose before getting intimate and that you'll have to respect his right to make his own decisions.


In the meantime, it might help to avoid investing too much in one person that you've spoken to for a few weeks. It's okay to date a few people, or just talk to a few people in order to lessen the level of anxiety involved with dating.

The only rules are to protect yourself and disclose so you can get real consent before getting physical.

Pretty much everything else is up to you. Including what distance is acceptable, frequency of dates, whether phone calls are allowed, and what pace you set for moving forward with any individual.


So maybe that's not at all helpful to you.

Maybe you haven't given yourself permission to date the way you want to.


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