First sex post-diagnosis

[curlycorn]

So there's this guy who I have had a tiny crush on (there's no chance it'll actually work out for a variety of reasons, but it's fun at the moment), I'll call him W. Me and W had sex for the first time in February and have made out/cuddled/hooked up a few more times. But I ended up noticing STD symptoms at the end of the month and told him about it so we didn't do anything sexual the last time we hung out since I didn't want to potentially infect him with something. He was really nice about it and cuddled with me but after he left we didn't talk to each other for a while.

 

Fast forward like a month and a half, and the only potential partner I had told was a FWB who said he didn't feel comfortable having sex with me since I have H. I was also scared of disclosing to people I didn't know very well, so I just wasn't sexually active during this time. I was on antivirals and no longer on my first outbreak though.

 

I went to a party and W was there. We ended up going home together and he asked about my "situation." I told him that I had herpes and kind of word vomited a bunch of statistics. To my surprise he seemed ok with it, but he did say all the statistics overwhelmed him a little lol (SO DONT DO EXACTLY WHAT I DID). We ended up just sleeping and cuddling and doing non sex-sexy stuff.

 

But then in the morning he asked if I still wanted to and we used a condom and tbh the sex wasn't that great but I felt great because my confidence was back. I now know that herpes doesn't define me and if someone is attracted to me that won't necessarily turn them away :)

 

Sorry if this is kind of all over the place. I meant to write it a while ago, but I forgot to finish! I'm going to write a few more stories about disclosing now so sorry if you see a bunch of my posts at once!

[Gina99]

Omg that’s amaZing! Sure gives you hope 🙂 

I’m just wondering, the sex wasn’t amazing because it hurt? Just wanna know what to expect when I decide to date again 

[curlycorn]

On 8/1/2018 at 1:38 PM, Gina99 said:

Omg that’s amaZing! Sure gives you hope 🙂 

I’m just wondering, the sex wasn’t amazing because it hurt? Just wanna know what to expect when I decide to date again 

No it didn't hurt, that particular guy just tends to have issues keeping it up sometimes lol. Sex/fingering hasn't hurt any of the few times I've done it post-diagnosis, but I have noticed that I tend to get outbreaks afterwards (although I'm also an unlucky person who seems to get outbreaks all the time, so they may be unrelated to the sex). Hope this helps, feel free to message me if you have any questions or just want to talk 🙂

[Jpara002]

I was recently diagnosed with H and had my first outbreak a month ago. I still haven’t had post H sex because I am scared and I feel unclean and I wanna cry all the time. I am also scared to give it to anyone in the future. I am also so pissed at the guy who potentially gave it to me and didn’t say a word about having stds. I am unclean for life I feel very down 😭 but your story gives me hopes . Maybe later it will be better I still haven’t healed completely. And the guy I was seeing seems to consciously know he gave it to me because he has completely stop talking to me and disappeared from earth . I feel hopeless 

[curlycorn]

On 8/4/2018 at 10:58 PM, Jpara002 said:

I was recently diagnosed with H and had my first outbreak a month ago. I still haven’t had post H sex because I am scared and I feel unclean and I wanna cry all the time. I am also scared to give it to anyone in the future. I am also so pissed at the guy who potentially gave it to me and didn’t say a word about having stds. I am unclean for life I feel very down 😭 but your story gives me hopes . Maybe later it will be better I still haven’t healed completely. And the guy I was seeing seems to consciously know he gave it to me because he has completely stop talking to me and disappeared from earth . I feel hopeless 

Hopefully you'll come to realize (if you haven't already) that H isn't a huge deal once you get past the discomfort of outbreaks. How are you feeling (mentally and physically) now that it's been a while since your diagnosis?